book genres

"Romance" genre books are just a nicer name for Literary Porn.


Read: Fifty Shades trilogy by E L James

life as a waitress

Fun! I love it when C is there. She's the one who makes those 5-7 hours enjoyable. If she didn't start on the second day I was there, I don't think I'd have continued with the job. I love it when we comment about the customers right in front of them, and just have a good laugh over whatever random things it is. And yesterday, was no exception. This is what I started:

Me: " Everytime I look at that couch, I just want to jump and pounce onto it." < refers to big black sofa and my tired feet.

*C looks over to the couch*

C: "The couch, or the man?"

*I raise my eyebrows, and look over to the couch appreciatively. Hunky cutely delicious man sitting on the other couch next to it.*

Me: "I was talking about 28(the empty couch), but.......heh."

C: "So once again, the question - the MAN, or the Couch?"

*I smile, and went to attend to other customers*

:D

alcohol.

It's my third time in a club, and there's still alcohol coursing through my veins. But I really still don't get the point of clubbing. Some say, they are there to dance. But, you aren't dancing. You are just bopping around on the spot, gliding your shoulders up and down, left and right, bouncing on your knees, swaying side to side.

Oh wells, the adrenaline or "highness" produced by alcohol doesn't seem to do it for me. I need things like bungee jumping or skydiving to get me high.

it seems the alcohol rushes to my knees rather than to my head. perhaps that's the reason why i'm still sober after a shot and 3 full mixers.

dreams.

I wanted to be a writer, after I read a book about becoming one in the publishing industry. 

I wanted to be a singer, after I watched a video of a talented artist and was amazed. 

I wanted to be a fashion designer, after I saw the beautiful designs in a magazine.

I wanted to be a teacher, after I read about the miracles teachers make in their student's lives.

I wanted to be a patissier, after I ate one of the prettiest cakes in the world.

I wanted to be a photographer, after I was mesmerized by the photos in a gallery.

I wanted to be a pilot, after I watched a Broadway play about a con-artiste who acted as one.

I wanted to be a flight stewardess, after I watched a movie of them jetting around the world.

I wanted to be a human rights activist, after I read an article about the poverty issues around the world.

I wanted to be a blogger, after I read about the perks of getting invited to events for free.

I wanted to be a ........

and I still can be anything I want to be. 

I don't think I'm fickle-minded or have no future direction, I'm just impressionable. It's wonderful, don't you think? To be able to be influenced by the wonders of life, to inspire one to be something, or someone that is happy to be that person in the future. You've got to enjoy your job to enjoy your life. Because most times, your job will be your life. I'm lucky to still be young, to not yet be stuck in the cycles of working life, where people find so difficult to get up and leave for something they really REALLY want to do. 

It's not wrong to have dreams. It's great in fact. It's a motivation that keeps the world happy.

Did you follow your dreams?

I feel a little dumb. haha. was trying to call the S'ore Discovery Centre to check if they were open today, cause my mom wants to go watch Avatar in 3D, but I always couldn't get through. AND, so I went to check the site again, and it was because I was calling the fax number instead.

well, it's Christmas Eve, I'm blogging at home, unemployed,  with no plans for the day besides going to watch Avatar in 3D with my family later today. It feels so weird to just have time to sit at home and slack. Or rather, have nothing to do. I was supposed to have plans to go for a job training this afternoon, but decided I didn't want to take this job up.

The job ad for 'Project Assistant' got my hopes up early last week, and so I applied. I wasn't provided with much information, even the company's name, and was called to go for an interview at Eunos. Hmm. But I went anyway, didn't think much about it at first. But alas! I felt a little cheated after, because rather than a job interview, it was more like a sales pitch to join the company instead. It's a Sales and Marketing firm as they call it, and uses network marketing strategies, which online, more known as Multi-level Marketing(MLM) firms. Such pushy and exploitive sales tactics, I don't want to be part of it. So back to square one at finding a job that can accommodate my jap classes in jan, and hockey trainings with crescent.

As for my social life the past week, it's been varied. From ice skating with Trud, Tabs and Jill (plus getting two huge purple bruises on my knees which everyone has to ask about), to hockey outing with the NJ team at swensons, to my aunt's wedding lunch at my grandmother's place (and we didn't even get to see the bride on the wedding day).
-24th Dec '09
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Another day later, and it's Christmas.In a little more than 24 hours, I'm still not done with this post, and more importantly i'm not unemployed anymore (: Ok, the pay isn't very good, but it's at least something I'm interested in. Being a baker at Petit Provence, Vivocity outlet, you'll see me there starting tomorrow! Well, it changes a lot of things for me, such as not being able to go down for hockey trainings unless I get day offs on those days, which I have already reserved Tues and Fridays for Jap classes. Wish me luck!

Continuing from above, I have watched Avatar in 3D, and I would have LOVED the movie, if not for the 3D effects. Not saying that the effects made the movie bad, and the effects were nothing much anyway, but the problem was that I got motion sickness halfway through the movie. ugh. It brought me back to when I had seasickness in the open seas during YLTC or OBS, I can't remember which. Felt like puking, but didn't. But still, I loved the graphics and plot of the whole story. It just makes me want to be a Na'Vi too, having all that freedom in the forest with such beautiful sights.
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Rewinding backwards a little, I have to say that this week, was the first time I was ever stressed about baking. Worrying whether there was enough time to finish baking everything, whether there was enough ingredients, whether the stuffs are fully cooked. Even made me miss lunch because there wasn't time to cook lunch. But all went well enough in the end I guess, with them all coming to the house to collect the stuff, while I delivered the last order to a friend's place later at night. Let's allocate more time to bake 20 brownie cups, 37 cookie mans and 28 cupcakes, which definitely needs me to start earlier than 9.30am in the morning to finish by 6pm.

More baking was done the sunday before for the Crescent Hockey Carnival. Baked 90 muffins, excluding the first dozen that wasn't sellable. But more importantly was the event itself. I was put in charge of selling the food, with puisheen, don and sakinah helping me. There was a little trouble selling a third of the muffins in the end, but I guess it couldn't be helped. And then I got informed that i'll be 'running the show' next year according to Nordin. It kinda put some pressure on. I mean, it feels as if coach still sees me as a captain, which I guess I am a little surprised, but glad in a way that he acknowledges me, since I left the team to come to NJ. That really made me think that day, about what I really feel about joining NJIP. I always told people that I came only because I didn't want to do my O levels, and didn't miss crescent much after the first few months. My biggest regret however, still is the fact that I left my team, when I was the captain. It felt like I disappointed them, and for once, I didn't follow up on my responsibilities. But I am happy for the reason that I still feel like part of the team, albeit a little more detached as compared to the 15 of them who went through B div together. WELL, always look towards the future and not regress yea? And so, bring on the challenge next year!
------
Lastly, I was gonna talk about the one-night trip up to Malacca with my family, but I kinda lost my train of thought on that matter already. Besides my brother doing most of the driving, while I sat in the passenger seat, and my parents in the rear seats (what a funny arrangement you might think), I thought it was a rather uneventful trip. It being one of the unhealthiest days of my recent life (we ate Mary Brown's fried chicken on the first night, next day lunch was melaka hawker food at Newton Food centre, haha!, and dinner was Cze char in Singapore.), and the day I killed the most brain cells with my constant sneezing from sinus, I bought a new pair of black jeans and 3 new t-shirts. I really ought to update my wardrobe with different things now :/

And yes, my brother got into OCS. Congratulations. Why am I not surprised?

i finally fell sick.
not that i was looking forward to or wanted to get sick, but it just hit so suddenly when i was getting complacent about not having fallen sick while everyone around me was ill before. Thankfully it wasn't too bad during the Biology paper 3 today, it got worse after I left the class lunch at pizza hut [06ip01 girls' lunch @ bukit timah shopping centre pizza hut after bio paper]. didn't go home straight away as a should have, had to pick up a SATs book from matt (thanks!) and then dropped by fareast plaza for a little shopping. The shopping was fruitful, burning a whole in my bank, and making me realize that I should priortize my needs and wants! [there's just so many things to be bought!!]

And yes, now that bio paper 3's over, i've only got one MCQ paper left! yes. it feels like such an accomplishment! [i dare not regress on what happened the past 2 weeks] Life is starting to get busy, I'm slowly oiling my rusty finger-joints for furious typing, getting the event-planner in me started again. With the barrier called A levels almost down to the ground, i can finally move forward! A dam that bursts it's banks, i've got to ensure there's steel reinforcements in place to allow the flood waters to flow smoothly again.

i do still miss my hair at times.

i don't know why, but i've been all uppity-up high this weekend. My mind doesn't seem to be able to focus on Bio (thankfully i've managed to squeeze as much as I can into this brain of mine), all i've been thinking about is other than A levels [which isn't even over yet!] Lists and Lists and Lists just keep elongating in my head. To-do, Shopping, Christmas Presents, Prom to-to, Outings....just so many things. Ooo, I'm getting excited already! I think it's from listening to 'Chocolate Love' by SNSD that i'm getting a chocolate high <3

I'm saving this post as a draft so as not to spoil the surprise. (6th November 2009)
A much lighter head, no more swishing, no more excessive use of shampoo, and I gotta start learning how to use wax.
And so....I cut my hair!
well thing is, it's the first time I'm going short. shorter than my IP2 short, which then I still could tie a mini pony tail somewhat then. Now, I can't. But no worries there, I'm getting used to it.
When I left the salon, I was hesistant. Like really. my mind was kinda reeling like 'I LOOK LIKE A BOY!' even though i've prepared myself to go short for at least a week now. Thus it wasn't an impulsive decision (or maybe it was, just a longer term impulsion), and I was surprised at how surprised i was at my own reaction. But now that i'm home, i've played around with it, and starting to like it! It's still a little shorter than what I expected, but nice nontheless. so I've gotta thank Joanne from J Salon at Far east plaza for reassuring me, and the styling. I paid good money for her to help me!
So anyway,  I meant to want to have something similar to this...

or this... after much research (i showed the hairdresser these same pictures too),

but the results more like this...(but a little shorter..)

and thus, i'm this!

my souvenior of which i'm gonna send to Locks of Love as a donation,

and say goodbye to this!

a HAIR-raising experience!

it hits me over weekends. where my mind just doesn't seem to function the way i want it to. and i am powerless over it. you may call it a lack of self discipline, but i do know what i have to do. my body just doesn't seem to listen to me to carry out what my mind wants me to do. all the more i'll plunge myself into romantic love stories which probably makes it worse. but hey, better to celebrate a fictional character's love then just stoning time away right.

all i know that is it started on friday. an eventful day, one which could have been much more productive if the unproductive student in me had just given in to the fact that i was past the peak of studying. it just went downhill, and let me ask you, can you get depressed from knowing that you're not studying when you really have to and have no more time to do it? well i think i have. perhaps all that pressure is building up again, and instead of giving me the motivation to study, it's pulling me further away from my goal.

i know i can never say what i really want to say here, and as the title has suggested since the start. it's been a place i rant. ranting the superficial. i type whatever that comes to mind during these episodes, perhaps to mask or distract myself from really looking at what i'm feeling. just before i started this post, i skimmed through the latest entries on member blogs on my reading list on the blogger dashboard, mostly reflections on graduation day.i've been wanting to blog happy things about friday (being the last supposed day of school and all) and the new wonderful experiences that happens when one finally feels that they're moving ahead. but i just lost that feeling to type about it, being lazy and all. I always go perhaps one day i'll find the time to type it out properly, but i know myself. that day will never come if i don't start now.

when you enter a new school, you meet lots of new people. some, you get closer to, some you just ignore just because you don't know them and there's really no need to know them. that's when it started. but three years and nine months down the road, you suddenly are making friends with people you haven't really talked to at all for the past three years and nine months. it's intriguing really. about how you know the end is coming, and you'll try to pull everything closer to you, whatever it is or whoever they are, so as to prevent the feeling of loss. i don't think i've ever felt this sociable, ever. the past month has been a routine of studying mostly, but in between, you forge ties with people whom are going through the same process. something like 'alchoholics anonymous', an example brought up during one of the GP classes. we depend on each other to pull through to the end, feeding of eeach other's energy, motivation, enthusiasm, depression, pressure...everything. oh yes, i'm off topic again.

friday. we came to school, many armed with cameras, i didn't. i armed myself with vanilla frosted cupcakes for teachers and two and a half hours of sleep. there was a 5-course buffet provided by the school, totally fried, and the school instead of leaving us with the feeling of exuberance that we're finally graduating, it was the feeling of pressure and haste- to get all our CIP and CCA records filled up. once i threw that feeling aside, there was the 06IP photo on the field, of which some got a little more sun than they should have, but through it all, it might be worth it for that picture or two that shouts 'remember those times!'. i retreated off to the library to do a little unproductive studying, and convinced myself to miss a session of frisbee cum captain's ball with a huge mass of people who could have probably lifted my spirits. Thus when i was chased out of that depressing haven, i had to wander around and flit from people to people, while waiting to enter the NJC AEP Graduation show. I must say though, kudos to the 15 eighteen(or nineteen or twenty) year old artists who produced amazing works of art. Tedious i would describe them,  something i would never have the patience to complete. after a little art appreciation, i had dinner with a group of people i never dined with before. it's a first for a lot of things for me that day. dinner was at CURRYWOK. with lynna, jing min, daniel, eugene k, eugene t, alan, alvyn, zichao, pauline and denise. funny how it was about 3 years ago that this place i had associated with my hockey senior's favourite dinner hang out, and haven't stepped into the premises at all. it's ironic that i'm only coming here to taste that delicious food only when i'm graduating, with a completely different group of people i never imagined myself with. in all, there's still many things in this world that we have yet to experience, so don't assume life and take it for granted.

saturday, DEEPAVALI! my first celebration of the festival of lights, thanks to chenchel! I must say, i haven't had the experience before mot due to my lack of indian friends ( i do have some), but rather my lack of initiative to get invited to one. it's really interesting to take part in something that is out of your own culture. the appeal of it just makes it so much more fascinating. it was to celebrate jillian's 18th too, but we (our class girls) managed to feast on great indian home-made snacks too! i'm glad that i didn't skip out on this. it was a day worth not studying for.

that's all i would conclude over my happy weekend,besides my brother coming home from NS for his first break since he went in less than two weeks ago. he didn't change at all, being that guy lying in front of his computer from dusk to dawn for the whole weekend. But with him gone, the house seems so quiet at night, me being the only child left in the house. makes not much difference if i keep staying out to study though. it's gonna be a quiet holiday once A's are over.

I realized a habit of mine in my language. when i describe events, i tend to avoid using the word 'i', although it's been used a lot in this sentence. somehow there's an aversion to it. 'we' comes out instead, when technically it's only one person's point of view, it's a little weird.perhaps it's my nature to avoid attracting attention to myself, or the need to include myself in a group, to feel like there's people around me. but it does get a little creepy, as if there's more than one of me around, a split personality more like. a two-faced person, i'm not surprised that it's more than just me though.

people who see this. don't take it to heart, try not to comment about it. i wouldn't know how to react to people who react to my rantings other than a thank you or silence.

now, that was so much longer than i anticipated. but i feel much better already :D

what drama.finally something about NJC. not exactly positive, but well as usual, things are seen from a different perspective and blown out of context.

well, this was my view:

" I don't think there's any mean to insult ACS(I) here. Students go to school to learn, and they are: from history. Looking at the context of the activity 'how dictorial regimes should work', isn't the scene which the students are depicting reality? Dictatorial leaders would have their opposing previous rulers killed, and make the opposition suffer. We all know that has happened in the past around the world, and the students are just applying it to classroom learning in a different context, where instead of countries, it is between schools. The use of ACS(I) as the example in their activity was probably just the first school name that popped into their minds, it could have happened to any other school other than ACS(I), with the same scenarios and issues arising anyway. Let's just say that the teacher who posted the photos didn't think of the negative reactions from the public who might look at the pictures and contents from a different perspective."

On to today, finally some mother-daughter bonding in the form of jogging/walking. My mum originally wanted me to run with her at 7am, but i kinda was still asleep, so it shifted to an evening run. We managed to jog all the way to her office area past boat quay, and then stopped at Cavenaugh bridge due to the F1 road blockage (about 2.5k to there).

This wasn't the closest I got to the F1 race though, it was when we walked behind the Asian Civilisations museum, and we walked right beside the (barricaded) road where the cars were driving on. Of course we couldn't see a thing, but the noise was just DEAFENING when it went past. I liked it so much better on TV. But there was that adrenaline rush when you see (or rather hear) something so close to you go so fast. We moved on, made a U-turn towards home. But wanting to buy bread, we ended up grocery shopping at Meidi-ya supermart at Liang Court (after getting a glimpse of Tampopo Deli...surprisingly i wasn't THAT tempted by cake). I spotted an NJ couple buying gelato, but i don't think it'll be nice of me to mention who they were. I've just been seeing them around together a lot lately. And then my mom craved SUBWAY. haha..didn't expect her to, since she already cooked dinner before we left, and so we shared a 6-inch. and then we continued walking home. So, this run-cum-walk with my lasted two and a half hours. Thankfully still shorter than the last time we tried to run.

Next time, I should try to stick to the schedule more...

Oh yes, yesterday was a post-adeline's-birthday celebration! At Settlers' Cafe @ SMU. it was such a laughter-inducing outing (Liu!! how could you miss it!) with Monopoly, Taboo & Ugly Dolls. Four hours just flew by like that. With the right company, a previously thought boring board game can turn very exciting!

More Monopoly?

Life's unexpected. 

What meant to be a morning run with my mom down the river to her office, then me running back alone home to bath then leave the house to study, turned out into something else.

We started off running down the river, then it started pouring (the second time now, the rain doesn't seem to like my running schedule). We stopped at Riverside Point, and then my brother had to come around to pick us up, after picking my dad. You see, my dad was supposed to walk down to a place near my mom's office for breakfast (just to make him exercise) but he left later then us, so all three of us were stuck out in the rain in two different places. Haha. My brother had to rush down for Taekwondo in Henry Park, so the plan evolved into us riding with him in the car to hpps, then my dad took over, and we went Ghim Moh Market for breakfast instead. Now, i thought we could finally go home after breakfast, but no, marketing ensued, with the plan of waiting for my brother to finish then we could all go home together. Since we had a little time after marketing before my brother was out, my parents brought me on a drive around Mt Sinai area, to check up on the house that was once theirs (and sold it the year I was born, so i never got to live in a semi-D :/ ) A little more property research of the area, then on to Hpps, where I was pretty glad I managed to visit. Saw Mr Teo (my old gym teacher) training cute little boys who were complaining about the tough training, haha, and the china coach training 3 girls. I jumped on the tramp a little, tried to do my sommersaults in the sponge pit, then left to find my brother. That gave me the opportunity to explore the new wing, the Indoor sports hall. All I could say is, it's interior's rather plain despite the rainbow colours to perk it up. NOW, really, when I thought we could finally go home and carry on with my plan, we had to drop my mom at the office before home. So, my 45 minute run turned into a 3 hour joy ride with my family (in sweaty dri-fit clothes). wow.

and just when i thought i would go out and study, I just finished watching two movie on my laptop consecutively : Make it happen, and Next. Time really does fly....

Man, I really miss those days 6 years ago.

Norman: same standard??
Nush: HI YOU FINALLY TAGGED. i thought it was chocolate souffle!
Denise: HI. glad you amused yourself with my dreams.
Chris: YES. When can we start?

Study session at Starbucks: Tanglin Mall today. I expected to meet Nush, since she did say that she'll be there, but Denise turned up in her place, both of us expecting to find Nush around the corner. But no, she didn't turn up. it was a pretty productive 4 hours i spent there, now that i've acknowledge that math and geog just takes that much time to revise. One hour was spent chatting and laughing with Denise, over belgium waffles and her hazelnut choc-chip muffin (sorry, but i think mine are still nicer :P). Our conversation topics went around friends (or rather a friend), and teachers. It was a really interesting theory, which she thinks isn't appropriate to post here in case the object of discussion happens to pass by and read my blog. it went along the lines of, subject teachers, marriage status, age, and weirdness level. Doesn't seem to apply to the females though. And then threw around the idea of the mass IP video to remember ourselves by. But it wouldn't be possible before A levels, and there's really no point in making it AFTER A's (with all the guys being shipped off to another island, some others flying around the Earth, and no one really wants to go back to NJ when there's not much reason to ain't it.)

Now, i just feel so old. it's really all going to be over soon. Four years of preparation (or maybe 2 months worth) is all going to be over in two month's time. I really can't wait to get compulsory education over with, and then finally get a move on Life.




You know the phrase that goes, once you taste a little of luxury, you can't go back to the simple life? Well, that's how i think my tastebuds evolved. For bread at least. I've probably mentioned before on how i've switched to eating Country loaves and Walnut loaves for breakfast instead of white sliced breads. Now, I've finally reacquainted myself with the taste of Foccacia, and it's just heavenly. I'm craving it all the time now, after that delish breakfast of Apple baked ham (it was on sale at Cold Storage) with lettuce and cheese in Foccacia I made myself this morning. I feel like making my on breads now, it's so much more convenient and inexpensive.

Now that i think about it, the reason i like baking and cooking. It's in my nature, to make things, create things, to use my hands and shape something from the Earth. Cooking and Baking allows me to do just that, projecting my imaginations and ideas into physical forms, pleasuring the senses be it sight, smell or taste. The Beauty of creations make people happy, and that's the emotion the world needs rather badly. Then it extends to almost all crafts and aspects of life. Fashion, music, food, architecture, furniture, dance......it just pleases me to be able to use my hands to create something, even if i may not be good at it at all.

tonight, i have lost my reason to learn driving. more like the cons overpower the pros. i was so keen just a few months, or even years ago, on the prestige of getting a driver's licence. but now, no more.

1) personal reasons: my dad's driving just annoys me to hell. and my parents want me to learn driving asap so that i can drive them around. with me getting in such a bad mood whenever i'm in the car with my parents (especially with my dad driving), i'd rather not be in the car.

2) my brother has been getting into a few accidents of late (and a few close shaves while i was IN the car), it seem like a really expensive affair. Fines(for driving a van in the wrong lane), scrapes with another taxi, repair costs to car damage, and the nagging from my parents that come together with each event that occurs. it doesn't seem worth it.

3) the cost of learning to drive is really high. opportunity cost is greater, since i don't think driving classes has more benefits than joining a culinary class or language class.

4) There's only one family car. And already three out of five people in my family can drive, so why need another driver? Demand for the car will outweigh the supply.

5)Fear. Of speed. When i'm not in control of it, it's not too bad. But evidence is already showing itself when i'm in the passenger seat and the car's cruising on the road at 70km/h. Relatively, it's not speeding, but at times i feel like it's going TOO fast already. and my brother will go 'it's only 70, still under the speed limit'. Another fear i might add, would be of mistakes. it links to reason number two, when mistakes happen, accidents do too. That's probably why sometimes when the roads are crowded, or at narrow turnings, my mind will go 'isn't the space a little too small??!!/ it's going to scrape!/ what if the car in front starts rolling back?!!' scenarios like that. In short, i need my space. (Maybe that's why since young i was so keen on having the world travel on flying skateboards, in the air, there's so much more room for mistakes to occur without the accidents)

6) I'm a geographer. I am VERY Pro-Earth. We need to consume less, produce less, thus waste less. I think that the world has too many cars and more car producers should just go bankrupt and close down so that car production will be reduced. Cars produce negative externalities such as pollution in the form of carbon monoxide and traffic congestion, which brings down the standard of living of a city. I'm pretty happy with the public transport system we have, the costs of travelling is still MUCH cheaper than owning a car(pay COE, pay ERP, pay fines, all pay money). Plus, not having a car makes you walk. walking is beneficial to your health, both mentally and physically. More times than not, affluence brings more harm than benefit.

it's all in the economics and geography.


next issue.
dinner at Zion Road food centre tonight. I don't think that place has much great food to offer, but it seems as though many people think it's a place with great food. There's only the famous Char Kway Teow stall that i know of, parkings' a menace, plus you've gotta pay to use the toilet. The only thing i like about it, is that it's next to the river.
Back to the point. Many people go there, and tonight i saw two couples(wouldn't exactly call the latter that, but, small details). one graduated NJCian whose name i can't remember but was in council and i suppose his girlfriend, and Mr Kevin Sim (in his Stanford tee) with another guy who looked like a student. Interesting, where you meet different people at different places.

and then i feel the need to reply to tags here, because some people just don't have tagboards anymore. haha.

suenli- i'm giving you interesting stuff to read other than your chem notes, the longer my dream is, the longer the time before you start on your chem ain't it? haha. And like you, i'm much more interested in blogging than my notes. haha.

i dreamed again.
Of myself getting my hair trimmed, but the style was still left long. I don't know why, but i think i'm partially afraid of cutting my hair because i like it long. But the other part of me wants to be adventurous and snip everything off.hmm. Any good stylists you would recommend to me?

Second dream was that i completed compiling the maldives photos that i was started last year. A long overdue project, which i must ensure myself to complete by the end of this year. No more excuses!

HI NUSH.
well, i just found out today there's one more additional reader to my blog. everyone, let's HI another one of my ghost blog readers (:

i have been doing my best to study, to the extent of travelling all the way to school to mug in the library, then at the oasis today. finally managed to finish population for geog, and nothing much else. haiz. it's been my (& kris') future cafe that has lately been constantly bugging me. my mind has latched on to this project so tightly that i can't seem to let go of it for a second. ideas for the ideal book cafe just keeps running through my head. the decor, the menu, the themes, the chairs, the wallpapers, the mannequins, the beanbags, the cooking, the serving, the laughing, the spiral stairs....everything! sigh. and i know i won't get to start on it for at least another few years...which is the sad part.

i had another dream this morning. which caused me to wake an hour later than i should have. it was probably because i was looking forward too much to going to school to study that i dreamed about it. somehow i was with this big study group on the way to school, and this 'study group' of mine wasn't NJcians. i had the sense that they were people i met in Pre-U sem. but uh, they weren't them. The next thing i knew, i was either calling ms tay (or she called me), and that the school gate was closing already. So i'm assuming here that we're all running late, and we're in transit to take the second bus to school.(I always have to change buses to get to and from school). So, my conversation with ms tay went along the lines of her telling me the uncle was closing the gate, and me asking her if she could ask the uncle to keep the gate open for another half hour. she said she'll try her best, then an almost accusing question came out: 'do you have to study in that study group/are you studying in school with a study group?' and i said yes. and she hung up. i got the feeling that i should be studying alone, or just not study with this particular group of almost strangers. the bus came almost as soon as i got off the phone, and we all boarded the bus. i sat right at the back of the bus, in the center seat, and there were three other people on my left(which made it seem like a big bus that can hold 7 people in the back row).the guy next to me is also part of my study group. he felt like only an acquaintance, but somehow i felt really comfortable with him. he was cute and charming, but i don't even remember his face (haha..boyfriend of the future?). he knew Andrew..and it took me awhile to realize it was andrew SEOW...the funny guy in my promary school class. Cute guy knew andrew as the DIVER.(which in real life he isn't- or not that i know of, but i accepted it in the dream anyway).and then i whipped out this really cool phone! a white slide phone with touch screen, and A LOT of buttons. i'll draw it out soon, if i can remember the details, but i was really cool. the next thing i surprised myself with was, i shifted onto cute guy's lap as the bus got more crowded, so that someone else could sit down. (in reality, there isn't enough space for such a thing to happen on the bus, ever.) then i was reading my messages on my phone, from some people i'm not sure i knew, and cute guy was helping me figure out my phone. and then second revelation: person whom i didn't know messaged me was actually the cute guy whose lap i was sitting on, and his name is REI. short for Yu Hong Rei or something like that. but the important thing is! not the full name, but REI. that's the name i wanted to give to my future son (: (inspired from a manga : MARS) funny thing. i didn't know his name at the start of the dream, and it gradually unfolded for me to find out..what a nice surprise(: the bus ride ended there, and when we were at the nj sidegate bus stop, some girl went: 'let's go da-bao some dessert/ice kacang!'. and i said no, that we were already late. and i WOKE UP. an hour late. haha.

dear me, i dreamt of being late, only to be late in real life. should have woken up when ms tay called. haha.perhaps then i wouldn't have to walk in through the main gate.

two days of sweet desserts....i shouldn't crave anymore.

ugh. just when i want to upload my photos because i thought blogger was alright again. UGH.

well i can't say much about productive studying, but singapore idol and naruto on cartoon network was amusing enough. seriously, CN just spoils naruto with the english dubs. they try to add americanised slangs into japanese ART...it just sounds wrong. singapore idol..i thought a few were good, but i think gurmit's unrehearsed hosting and the judges' comments just pale in comparison to other shows. they sound...like they're trying too hard to please the audience at times.

hockey hockey tomorrow!yay!

RAWR. this is the umpteenth time that i just want to slap myself silly right now! or rather for being silly. yes, today's two papers down already, so i came home to relax awhile, and in the end ENDED UP READING ANOTHER MANGA AND SQUEALING TO MYSELF. haiz. seriously, manga reading is really an addictive thing. but i just can't help it. the prospect of having to study econs...makes me want to put as much distance away from it as i can...so i avert myself to manga. a much MUCH more pleasurable way to pass time. Faster than a kiss - another shojo manga i'm dying to know the continuation.

From yesterday~
" Rawr. I seriously can't concentrate. It's one day to go and i'm trying to spam bio into my head.

I'm located at cafe pralet, a cafe run in conjunction with a culinary school i've been wanting to take classes from for quite awhile. The atmosphere's good, good music, nice staff and good food. AND IT'S A FIVE MINUTE WALK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE. Haha. It,s relatively quiet when it's not lunch hour, so it's much better than ikea with the screaming babies and artic airconditioning. The only downside i can think of is the wonderful array of cakes and pastries they have here, at a rather reasonable price of 3 to 4 bucks.= i'm really gonna get fat studying here.haha.

So far i've ordered a ice chocolate and Pralet- their signature chocolate praline cake. Starting with the drink, it was normal, nothing special. The cake it's like normal praline cake too. A good balance of chocolate mousse and chocolate cake, plus the chocolates isn't overpowering, so you don't really get sick of it fast, unlike some other richer cakes. Now, i just love the service. There's a small cup of warm water that came with the order, and when that finished, she automatically replenished it even though i didn't order anything else. This is what i call good service. The staff is friendly, albeit both sounded filipino, they're so much friendlier than some others. It's like they're just able to cheer you up with a smile:) ok maybe because i'm located near the kitchen door that i smell all the cooking and oil, but it's not too bad that i can't tolerate it, and it's my choice that i'm staying here for hours on ends.

Did i mention the cafe itself inspires me to hop right into the kitchen and whip up some delish items..i can't wait for december to come :D

Oh and right before i go back to bio, the staff at cotton on was top notch i would say- cheerful, the ultimate at being helpful and outgoing. Haha.

I'm all motivated now:) " - 2.15pm,1st September 2009

blogger is still screwing with me on my new post page...but no matter. i've got better news than this to blog about.

like today. uh, i wouldn't say it's i-witnessed-a-murder-and-got-kidnapped-then-saved-a-little-girl-whose-mother-was-killed exciting, but to me it's rather insightful. i shall start with the boring bits, such as waking up early, close to the time that i can make it to school for like automatically, say 6.50am..but i went back to sleep anyway. but the surprising thing was, i contemplated starting early to study when i woke up then..hm. well, i headed off the the library (whenever i head there, it's always to RETURN a book..the reading and borrowing are um, a result of going to the library). but this time i managed to control myself! a little at least. i mean i still picked a book up, or two..but i 'finished' one of the romance novels, and part of the 'Ideas Generator' guidebook for businesses, in 2 hours? haha. only possible because after reading a hundred odd pages, i decided to be smart for once and skip to the last chapter..thus tada! i finished the book, and realized it was another virtual reality game plots...now, this is the third literary item that i've read this year about virtual reality, and i really hope it'll be developed soon(well it has to already have been developed, if not how do the authors get the details about VR games from and the inner workings?), or at least released to the public. it'll be so exciting! oh yea, and i managed to cover earthquakes and volcanoes (a little behind schedule i know).

Lunch was at 3pm, i travelled from bukit merah library to anchorage. to satisfy my subway craving. But JUST as i stepped out of the library, it started to drizzle. and the bus that i took, stopped at a bus stop which i had to walk for at least 10 mins unsheltered to anchorage(and the rain by this time was as if under multiple powerful showerheads.) but lucky me, i grabbed the umbrella instinctively as a rushed out of the house. really, did the rain have to wait for me to finally leave the library before it poured? as if it rained specially for me. or maybe BECAUSE i had an umbrella that it decides to rain. there's a pattern i noticed though. for two days in a row...the skies opened up to me as i stepped outdoors. i think it rained..specially ON me.

Subway was good..i finished two cookies as well even though i know i shouldn't have. one was subway's, the other my own. i really prefer homemade cookies now. subway's was just SUGAR OVERLOAD. i resumed, uh..vectors this time. and as usual, time flies for math. i had a little time to skim through a few Economist articles..the one for GP, not econs haha. before letting myself go buy 3 new pairs of shorts from cotton on. NOW, before you comment or think otherwise...these three pairs of shorts are needs, not wants. reasons being...shall be elaborated below.

my dad then came to pick me after my 30min shopping spree, to go for dinner with my mom and her colleagues at the usual amoy street cze char stall. it was mostly auntie Q talking..in dialect, with smatterings of english. i could understand the gist of the conversation, mostly about a banker's life and the internal workings. mostly internal conflicts and uh..scoldings, nervous breakdowns, resignations et cetera..and she put it 'advise for me from the experienced'. and yes..she did comment about me...i looked 'different'. to be more exact when she elaborated.. the two Fs. Fairer and Fatter aka 'put on weight'. yes i knew that unconsciously, but when someone put it out bluntly...it really makes an impact. and yes, here's where i elaborate my need for those shorts. because i can barely fit into my current ones. i can't fit into some already, and even the pants. thus i need new ones, which i predict will at least be in use for the next 6 months. (that's assuming i can fit back into my current ones in the future.) it's only been 3 months! and already people can tell the difference. ugh. my mom did comment at this point: 'Yea, she puts on weight quite fast'. UGH, i really can't wait for the studying to be done to start on my future exercise regime. at least 4 times a week i tell you! i've got no issue with the fairer bit, i mean since i've been cooped up in the library and under shade the past three months, i'll just be weird if i didn't shed the black.

and lastly, a inspirational quote from the Idea Generator:

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

oh i love Einstein now..

mmm. i just spent the last hour looking through photos. it really brings all the fond memories rushing back...when times were fun and good.

it was a much needed break from studying....or rather attempted studying. today's productiveness just totally went downhill after the previous post.attempted complex numbers, but failed drastically, hence the time was spent on looking at solutions instead. and then when i tried to move on to firms..my brain just shut down and refused to absorb anything. and that's it?! i can't even believe it myself. that's all i accomplished in 10 hours- finishing off gummies, kinder bueno and wang wang along the way as well. part of the wasted hours were due to the two magazines i bought yesterday, and various compulsive habits of mine. I don't know how many times i must remind myself never to ATTEMPT to stay home and study ever again (if i ever want to be productive).

but i guess a break is always needed, and i'm seeing a pattern of one day break every 6 days. typically the break would include reading, and it's alternating between romance novels and manga. of the past month, it has been pretty consistent, from Something Wonderful [Judith MacNaught), 1/2 Prince, The Food of Love [Anthony Capella], and this week was Kyou koi wo Hajimemasu. it keeps me sane, especially when i've been staying in school till 9pm for the past two weeks to study. can't say that it's the most productive after a full day of lessons, but it's better than nothing.

oh yes, i wanted to talk about the ressurrection of our 06ip01 class blog! thanks to andy, i doubt any of us would have even bothered with it..it's like this thing chucked at the back of your closet which you won't touch until the next spring cleaning. well, nothing much changed except the top picture, and the extensive links, one of which caught my eye.
wearepaperplanes - i'm assuming it's a blog created by juniors, content of which is very interesting, original compositions about nj ip school life. hilarious as hell.

I should go sleep. if not at least attempt a little more at firms. i can't believe there's only two days left.

In the Library.

'The Bears Discussing'
'The Sole Survivor'

Studying is lonely. expecially when you've got to concentrate and study alone. It brings out the introvert in you. It makes you independent. But it's so sad. I'm slowly losing my mind to this madness. Getting home after a long day of study and the sky is dark, but you reach home and the house is quiet. There's no one around to prepare dinner. Dinner becomes a one-man affair as well. The irony of buying home 'five-star chicken rice' only to share it with the glow of the television.

Remember. Nobody wants to be alone.