it took me this long to blog since i came back from malaysia on thursday night.
my current status: watching ocean's eleven and having very bad muscle aches in my thighs.
anyway.the malaysia trip with the hockers was just awesome.i miss royale bintang hotel.hahah.i still can't believe i spent 500+ rm in 5 days.and i didn't manage to finish my christmas shopping): anyway.here i am on christmas eve sitting on my grandmother's sofa watching tv alone and using the computer.just because my mom cut off the cable at home and thus i've got no more access to internet anymore.so i've got to come over to get some.how inconvinient.

im not in much mood to blog about the teensy wincy details of the trip, but maybe just some major points.genting.haunted adventure.freaked the hell outta everyone.theme parks.corkscrew, space shot and flying coaster is one that made me scream like hell.there wasn't much in the indoor theme park though.sunway's rides were almost on par, if not better.the water rides wasn't as thrilling as i thought, but still exhilarating.kl's shopping was not exactly successful, but i managed to get a pair of shoes, a bag and some other stuff i can't remember.but i do know i spent a tad too much on food.
ah..but training was horrible that day.although we spent most of it playing matches, oh yes.that reminds me.i totally missed a freaking open goal.it was such a damn stupid silliest thing i could ever do.but anyway, it was the after training fitness that killed us all.and i had to wake up freaking early in the morning after coming home so late the night before.
i wonder how boring my christmas is going to be this year.

merry christmas everyone

im have been a lethargic ass the past few days.especially after the crescent carnival.i shouldn't be to sad.but the thing is that my team didn't even get into the bloody quarter finals like wth.i didn't even do my warm up, and i just felt like some last-minute jinx.how i hate it.my life has never been complete.
and in 2 days time im going to be in malaysia, with the seniors and jing.i'll feel so extra.and i haven't even done anything for christmas.how bloody last minute can i be.and then there's the keller board to do up tmr.just hope we can finish it on time.

anyway, today went ice skating with christine and amelia.i didn't expect to fall this many times today.shouldn't have attemped to learn how to do the turns on ice.and ice-skating gives me bloody aching feet.hate those skates.wish i had my own.

keep on wishing

ok...just a little about my weekend before training and also while my fingers are blue.literally.

the SA match went quite well...with some of the seniors playing for SA so it was kinda interesting.but crescent still won.oh and we all went to melody's house for an early birthday party.quite fun.with enough food to feed the whole team.except that only half came.or make that 2/3 .i can't say the same for the match me and alicia played with nj.the british team was just. woah.they're like so BIG.seriously.and they were only 16. but they still beat the crap outta our team.just imagine the match for this year's C div' the first game of crescent vs. swiss cottage. just increase the skill level.and the nj team only had like 1 reserve left after one player was hit on the chin.ouch.so there i was running my ass off as midfielder, one position i haven't played for months.with the exception of friday's match.while the british team had dunno how many subs. no wonder they had all the stamina to run up and down. how bloody tired i was running after them.

then comes sunday. mom bought a new mp3 from the yearly creative fest. and she bought the player i wanted to buy with xiang yin a year ago.or half a year.bloody 5GB (: but my mom bought it so she could store her work and stuff inside so she didn't exactly buy it for me. rather like for me, her and my brother to share.but it's still with me (: and the colour's bloody army green. but what's there to complain.we got a webcam as well.and a prodikeys board for my uncle.and my brother got portable speakers. oh how i wish everything in the world was foc.

keep on dreaming.

can't believe im such a pig today.
4 episodes of anime.
3 movies.
i watched all that today.and didn't even exercise.oh god.im really getting FAT.

anyway.there's training tmr and im not going for it.gonna play in some friendly match against SA.
then comes sat where gha's asking me to play with NJ against some english team.i wonder how that'll work out.seriously...like coach said its all about teamwork..how am i gonna play with a completely different team.they're all strangers .it's just gonna be strange.really.

well the past week hasn't gone all that smoothly either.monday's training got me up all in the wrong places.which affected me till today.anyway..wed was also coach nordin's birthday.and i guess it was quite amusing as well.me and sheng went to toysrus and got him a hula hoop.think girly.and a pink skipping rope for goodness sake.i have no idea what i was thinking then.but i guess it wasn't so bad afterall i guess.
ta.

dammit i grew shorter.how is that even possible.
sheesh.i think its my knees.or ankles.damn them.

oh and im taking orders for christmas cookies and brownies(:

chocolate chip cookies :
100g for $1
[bite-size , regular]
extra large cookie : approx. 15-20cm in diameter = $3

brownies:
[walnut/chocolate chip/plain]
2x5cm each or 4x4cm = $1.50 for 4

7x5cm each = $0.60/p

will be fresh and ready for collection on 23 onwards.post-christmas orders are still welcome.
any enquiries please leave a contact with a tag on the tagboard.
appreciate orders by 11th december.
please e-mail your orders to exquisitely.delicious@gmail.com

thanks

i woke up this morning.it was a new day.and i felt like everything should have changed.
my room basically.it was terribly small and cramped.and i hate pink walls.orange would be nice.and all the junk in my room should just disappear.and nicer furniture please.i wanted to change the whole room.for a new look.and i designed everything.in my head.and it was perfect.and then i started thinking of my new house in the future.i would be 24.single.probably in a relationship.but i would be a workaholic.a business woman.successful one at that.with a nice big apartment all to myself.and i designed everything as well.some stuff would be bought at the jatuchak market in bangkok.most of the rest in ikea.and the Life shop.and a nice posh car .
but all that would have to wait.because it is impossible right now.i have to change my attitude and habits if i want such a life in the future.and get whatever i want.which would make me a twenty-plus successful woman stereotyped bitch.oh well.
i shall make my christmas wishlist tmr.those hoping to get me presents i doubt the list will be of any help.
ta.

'Fear has paralysed me emotionally for a number of years. I am well aware of that, and so I have created a life for myself, a life alone; this has always seemed so much safer. Brick by brick by brick I have erected a wall around myself, a wall built on the foundations of my business, my work and my career. I have done this in order to protect myself, to insulate myself from life; work has been my strong citadel for such a long time now, and it has given me exactly what I have needed these few years.'
-Everything to Gain written by Barbara Taylor Bradford.

I think that really describes me seriously.

i am messy yet i like and try to be neat.the clashes of the two worlds.how i wish everything will just fall into their own places.literally.

i think im missing out a phase in my growing years.you know the part where everyone would be obsessing over someone in the reel life.thinking how that person is so perfect and stuff.somehow the feeling never occured to me.maybe i'll like the actor, but not obsess over that person.but it'll fade away almost as soon as i start liking that actor.and it happened only once.or twice.i can't remember.sighs.

music calms me.or probably almost everybody as well.whether im angry.sad.bored.cheerful.damp.stone.yea...somehow the songs perk me up.or more like just make me forget about all my worries.and responsibilities.yes.responsibilities.how i wish i wasn't so responsible.and then people won't put the responsibility on me.but sometimes i do enjoy the responsibilities.yet sometimes i just hate it when i have too much.and then i won't be responsible for my own self.i should be glad yet im sad to leave crescent.a certain someone had to just rub it in all the way.first.hockey captain.that probably won't end till december.but im worried about the team spirit then.now to future-was-going-to-be-but-not-possible-now keller house captain.im leaving.so i don't really have to do anything about it.but polly just had to drag me into it cos me, lavania and siew hui are leaving for nj thus they're short handed.and thus we are called back to help by the house captain.sighs.

never thought not swimming for months can make me lose my touch.i used to take classes and can swim laps without getting tired.and now.how bad i've dropped.it was really nice to swim after so long.the scenery was perfect.not much sun.but the construction of regency suites just had to destroy the view.the jacuzzi was nice and warm.and bubbly.stayed in the pool till my fingers and toes were all wrinkled like crap.

to think i would have gone past with a very boring december i proved myself wrong.with so much damn stuff to do i don't think i can go to genting before finishing everything up.which leaves me exactly 2 weeks and a day left.i feel the pressure although no one is pressuring me.
i love to assume.oh yes.that is one aspect i hate of myself.like really really deep hatred.cos i do it unconsciously.and thus its so turn off-ish to myself.BLAH.
im falling asleep on my chair AGAIN.nights.ta.

my room's a big mess.and im a mess.
being both emotionally and physically strained.
nothing more please.

continuation from yesterday.no..14 hours post ago.
had class outing yesterday.the nj future class.i wouldn't say much .interesting.boring.embarressing.weird.all the different descriptions of it.
its those kind where you stone.and get to put names to faces.and watch chicken little.when i already have the dvd.so i just blew cash on a movie.

ok.then training.nordin's in malaysia with the under 16 team playing so wei zhen came in and sub. but jing's complaining it was too slack.as for me.my lungs were affected and thus i can't run for long and i had very long breaks on monday.wednesday wasn't so bad for me cause i was on the road to recovery but still can't run the full 5 rounds.i hope tmr's training i'll be in a better shape.
ta.

i am pissed at myself for all the too-much-logical-thinking.seriously. its like when someone makes some unknown-doesn't-seem-like-its-wrong-and-doesn't-really-matter-mistake in speech or somthing i'll try to correct the person.that person must be irritated by that...everyone will although sometimes it is mixed with sarcasm and humour.i just just can't seem to control it. and even i myself get irritated.ugh.
and then i have another tendancy.to make all my statements to a person whether it is to reply they're question or just to make a comment, it'll all seem very cold hearted and mean.and its like a sign that im barely tolerationg the person...or around there.another time would be when im having fun i like to be mean.somehow.its like nice to be mean.now i see why people turn to evil. more than good.

oh well.the week went past fine.with me having sorethroat, a little flu and bad cough.so my laziness and combined weakness made me stay away from the computer.
and since i am about to fall asleep right now and can't keep my eyes open and thus nodding off at my chair .ta.