post-paper complaints.

I've been awake for the past 4 hours, and it hasn't been nice to me so far.
Alright, that was an exaggeration. My last two hours hasn't been nice to me. And that was due to having my first finals paper of the semester. You know how much I hate studying and being tested for it.

1. My laptop refused to work in the exam room (the test was online). Thank god for prepared exam backup laptops, but WHY OH WHY did you not work then, and work only when the exam is OVER? It must have been going through a adolescent rebellion phase.

2. The test had an essay component. I really don't like writing essays (ironically, my major requires me to write many, many essays more).

3. I fell asleep during the exam. Although only for a few seconds, my brain really wasn't functioning for the first one and a half hours. I was typing without thinking anymore.

4. I really didn't care how I did for the essay anymore.

Results of a combination of grade ambivalence and sleep deprivation. And to think my aim was to pull up my GPA. I think I'll be happy with just not failing anymore.

This is probably a prelude to a series of similar upcoming posts, since there's three more papers to go, and I doubt I'll be in the inspirational mood to posts some life-changing thought.

It seems like karma for sleeping late last night and deciding to be lazy to not join denise & co. for the morning run. I've not even reached school yet, and i've counted 5 misfortunes that have befallen me. Since i'm currently stuck in a jam[misfortune number 5], i've got time to detail the other 4. The first two involved buses. Well you see, i normally depend on the what-time-is-the-bus-coming-board to decide if i would walk to the other busstop to have an extra option for my transfer bus instead of waiting for only one bus without walking the extra 500m or so. And thus, when it said 14 minutes, who would wait there when there's the possibility of getting on another bus earlier with a short walk? And so i walked. But that decision led me to miss that bus that was supposedly to take 14 minutes to come, came in less than one minute as i walked AWAY from the busstop. Well fine. Lets just hope the second bus will come soon. It came soon enough, yes it did. It came BEFORE I reached busstop-number-two. And so, that led to misfortune number 3, which was me having to spend 20 very HOT minutes at the busstop which faced the morning sun. The misfortune only felt like one, when I starting perspiring like a pig less than an hour after i took a rare morning bath. Grrr... And now, for the forth m, is a continuation from the first two, as missing the buses, meant that i missed the time i could enter the school through the sidegate. For you non-NJCians, our school gate closes exactly on the dot at 9am, and if you can't enter through the sidegate, you've gotta walk around Hillcrest Villa & RGPS, up the hill, to the maingate to enter the school. And yes i did that.

All that trouble just to come to school to study. 5 more days. And they say i shouldn't count my misfortunes, but my blessings, so i will end it on a positive note. I had true-blue chocolate banana bread for breakfast, which was white bread with nutella spread, with a layer of fresh banana slices in between....Yum:)
- 9am, Nokia N95 Notes.

update: today was really unproductive. GAH.

Had another long chat with my eldest brother today.
in a way it was surprising. revealing. i wouldn't bring it all the way to enlightening. but it's good to know what's going on and get a new perspective on things now and then.
in a way, he helped me to focus on my priorities, which is a good thing for the next 20 days of mine. I need all the focus i can get.

full steam ahead!

it hits me over weekends. where my mind just doesn't seem to function the way i want it to. and i am powerless over it. you may call it a lack of self discipline, but i do know what i have to do. my body just doesn't seem to listen to me to carry out what my mind wants me to do. all the more i'll plunge myself into romantic love stories which probably makes it worse. but hey, better to celebrate a fictional character's love then just stoning time away right.

all i know that is it started on friday. an eventful day, one which could have been much more productive if the unproductive student in me had just given in to the fact that i was past the peak of studying. it just went downhill, and let me ask you, can you get depressed from knowing that you're not studying when you really have to and have no more time to do it? well i think i have. perhaps all that pressure is building up again, and instead of giving me the motivation to study, it's pulling me further away from my goal.

i know i can never say what i really want to say here, and as the title has suggested since the start. it's been a place i rant. ranting the superficial. i type whatever that comes to mind during these episodes, perhaps to mask or distract myself from really looking at what i'm feeling. just before i started this post, i skimmed through the latest entries on member blogs on my reading list on the blogger dashboard, mostly reflections on graduation day.i've been wanting to blog happy things about friday (being the last supposed day of school and all) and the new wonderful experiences that happens when one finally feels that they're moving ahead. but i just lost that feeling to type about it, being lazy and all. I always go perhaps one day i'll find the time to type it out properly, but i know myself. that day will never come if i don't start now.

when you enter a new school, you meet lots of new people. some, you get closer to, some you just ignore just because you don't know them and there's really no need to know them. that's when it started. but three years and nine months down the road, you suddenly are making friends with people you haven't really talked to at all for the past three years and nine months. it's intriguing really. about how you know the end is coming, and you'll try to pull everything closer to you, whatever it is or whoever they are, so as to prevent the feeling of loss. i don't think i've ever felt this sociable, ever. the past month has been a routine of studying mostly, but in between, you forge ties with people whom are going through the same process. something like 'alchoholics anonymous', an example brought up during one of the GP classes. we depend on each other to pull through to the end, feeding of eeach other's energy, motivation, enthusiasm, depression, pressure...everything. oh yes, i'm off topic again.

friday. we came to school, many armed with cameras, i didn't. i armed myself with vanilla frosted cupcakes for teachers and two and a half hours of sleep. there was a 5-course buffet provided by the school, totally fried, and the school instead of leaving us with the feeling of exuberance that we're finally graduating, it was the feeling of pressure and haste- to get all our CIP and CCA records filled up. once i threw that feeling aside, there was the 06IP photo on the field, of which some got a little more sun than they should have, but through it all, it might be worth it for that picture or two that shouts 'remember those times!'. i retreated off to the library to do a little unproductive studying, and convinced myself to miss a session of frisbee cum captain's ball with a huge mass of people who could have probably lifted my spirits. Thus when i was chased out of that depressing haven, i had to wander around and flit from people to people, while waiting to enter the NJC AEP Graduation show. I must say though, kudos to the 15 eighteen(or nineteen or twenty) year old artists who produced amazing works of art. Tedious i would describe them,  something i would never have the patience to complete. after a little art appreciation, i had dinner with a group of people i never dined with before. it's a first for a lot of things for me that day. dinner was at CURRYWOK. with lynna, jing min, daniel, eugene k, eugene t, alan, alvyn, zichao, pauline and denise. funny how it was about 3 years ago that this place i had associated with my hockey senior's favourite dinner hang out, and haven't stepped into the premises at all. it's ironic that i'm only coming here to taste that delicious food only when i'm graduating, with a completely different group of people i never imagined myself with. in all, there's still many things in this world that we have yet to experience, so don't assume life and take it for granted.

saturday, DEEPAVALI! my first celebration of the festival of lights, thanks to chenchel! I must say, i haven't had the experience before mot due to my lack of indian friends ( i do have some), but rather my lack of initiative to get invited to one. it's really interesting to take part in something that is out of your own culture. the appeal of it just makes it so much more fascinating. it was to celebrate jillian's 18th too, but we (our class girls) managed to feast on great indian home-made snacks too! i'm glad that i didn't skip out on this. it was a day worth not studying for.

that's all i would conclude over my happy weekend,besides my brother coming home from NS for his first break since he went in less than two weeks ago. he didn't change at all, being that guy lying in front of his computer from dusk to dawn for the whole weekend. But with him gone, the house seems so quiet at night, me being the only child left in the house. makes not much difference if i keep staying out to study though. it's gonna be a quiet holiday once A's are over.

I realized a habit of mine in my language. when i describe events, i tend to avoid using the word 'i', although it's been used a lot in this sentence. somehow there's an aversion to it. 'we' comes out instead, when technically it's only one person's point of view, it's a little weird.perhaps it's my nature to avoid attracting attention to myself, or the need to include myself in a group, to feel like there's people around me. but it does get a little creepy, as if there's more than one of me around, a split personality more like. a two-faced person, i'm not surprised that it's more than just me though.

people who see this. don't take it to heart, try not to comment about it. i wouldn't know how to react to people who react to my rantings other than a thank you or silence.

now, that was so much longer than i anticipated. but i feel much better already :D

Norman: same standard??
Nush: HI YOU FINALLY TAGGED. i thought it was chocolate souffle!
Denise: HI. glad you amused yourself with my dreams.
Chris: YES. When can we start?

Study session at Starbucks: Tanglin Mall today. I expected to meet Nush, since she did say that she'll be there, but Denise turned up in her place, both of us expecting to find Nush around the corner. But no, she didn't turn up. it was a pretty productive 4 hours i spent there, now that i've acknowledge that math and geog just takes that much time to revise. One hour was spent chatting and laughing with Denise, over belgium waffles and her hazelnut choc-chip muffin (sorry, but i think mine are still nicer :P). Our conversation topics went around friends (or rather a friend), and teachers. It was a really interesting theory, which she thinks isn't appropriate to post here in case the object of discussion happens to pass by and read my blog. it went along the lines of, subject teachers, marriage status, age, and weirdness level. Doesn't seem to apply to the females though. And then threw around the idea of the mass IP video to remember ourselves by. But it wouldn't be possible before A levels, and there's really no point in making it AFTER A's (with all the guys being shipped off to another island, some others flying around the Earth, and no one really wants to go back to NJ when there's not much reason to ain't it.)

Now, i just feel so old. it's really all going to be over soon. Four years of preparation (or maybe 2 months worth) is all going to be over in two month's time. I really can't wait to get compulsory education over with, and then finally get a move on Life.




You know the phrase that goes, once you taste a little of luxury, you can't go back to the simple life? Well, that's how i think my tastebuds evolved. For bread at least. I've probably mentioned before on how i've switched to eating Country loaves and Walnut loaves for breakfast instead of white sliced breads. Now, I've finally reacquainted myself with the taste of Foccacia, and it's just heavenly. I'm craving it all the time now, after that delish breakfast of Apple baked ham (it was on sale at Cold Storage) with lettuce and cheese in Foccacia I made myself this morning. I feel like making my on breads now, it's so much more convenient and inexpensive.

Now that i think about it, the reason i like baking and cooking. It's in my nature, to make things, create things, to use my hands and shape something from the Earth. Cooking and Baking allows me to do just that, projecting my imaginations and ideas into physical forms, pleasuring the senses be it sight, smell or taste. The Beauty of creations make people happy, and that's the emotion the world needs rather badly. Then it extends to almost all crafts and aspects of life. Fashion, music, food, architecture, furniture, dance......it just pleases me to be able to use my hands to create something, even if i may not be good at it at all.

HI NUSH.
well, i just found out today there's one more additional reader to my blog. everyone, let's HI another one of my ghost blog readers (:

i have been doing my best to study, to the extent of travelling all the way to school to mug in the library, then at the oasis today. finally managed to finish population for geog, and nothing much else. haiz. it's been my (& kris') future cafe that has lately been constantly bugging me. my mind has latched on to this project so tightly that i can't seem to let go of it for a second. ideas for the ideal book cafe just keeps running through my head. the decor, the menu, the themes, the chairs, the wallpapers, the mannequins, the beanbags, the cooking, the serving, the laughing, the spiral stairs....everything! sigh. and i know i won't get to start on it for at least another few years...which is the sad part.

i had another dream this morning. which caused me to wake an hour later than i should have. it was probably because i was looking forward too much to going to school to study that i dreamed about it. somehow i was with this big study group on the way to school, and this 'study group' of mine wasn't NJcians. i had the sense that they were people i met in Pre-U sem. but uh, they weren't them. The next thing i knew, i was either calling ms tay (or she called me), and that the school gate was closing already. So i'm assuming here that we're all running late, and we're in transit to take the second bus to school.(I always have to change buses to get to and from school). So, my conversation with ms tay went along the lines of her telling me the uncle was closing the gate, and me asking her if she could ask the uncle to keep the gate open for another half hour. she said she'll try her best, then an almost accusing question came out: 'do you have to study in that study group/are you studying in school with a study group?' and i said yes. and she hung up. i got the feeling that i should be studying alone, or just not study with this particular group of almost strangers. the bus came almost as soon as i got off the phone, and we all boarded the bus. i sat right at the back of the bus, in the center seat, and there were three other people on my left(which made it seem like a big bus that can hold 7 people in the back row).the guy next to me is also part of my study group. he felt like only an acquaintance, but somehow i felt really comfortable with him. he was cute and charming, but i don't even remember his face (haha..boyfriend of the future?). he knew Andrew..and it took me awhile to realize it was andrew SEOW...the funny guy in my promary school class. Cute guy knew andrew as the DIVER.(which in real life he isn't- or not that i know of, but i accepted it in the dream anyway).and then i whipped out this really cool phone! a white slide phone with touch screen, and A LOT of buttons. i'll draw it out soon, if i can remember the details, but i was really cool. the next thing i surprised myself with was, i shifted onto cute guy's lap as the bus got more crowded, so that someone else could sit down. (in reality, there isn't enough space for such a thing to happen on the bus, ever.) then i was reading my messages on my phone, from some people i'm not sure i knew, and cute guy was helping me figure out my phone. and then second revelation: person whom i didn't know messaged me was actually the cute guy whose lap i was sitting on, and his name is REI. short for Yu Hong Rei or something like that. but the important thing is! not the full name, but REI. that's the name i wanted to give to my future son (: (inspired from a manga : MARS) funny thing. i didn't know his name at the start of the dream, and it gradually unfolded for me to find out..what a nice surprise(: the bus ride ended there, and when we were at the nj sidegate bus stop, some girl went: 'let's go da-bao some dessert/ice kacang!'. and i said no, that we were already late. and i WOKE UP. an hour late. haha.

dear me, i dreamt of being late, only to be late in real life. should have woken up when ms tay called. haha.perhaps then i wouldn't have to walk in through the main gate.

two days of sweet desserts....i shouldn't crave anymore.

ugh. just when i want to upload my photos because i thought blogger was alright again. UGH.

well i can't say much about productive studying, but singapore idol and naruto on cartoon network was amusing enough. seriously, CN just spoils naruto with the english dubs. they try to add americanised slangs into japanese ART...it just sounds wrong. singapore idol..i thought a few were good, but i think gurmit's unrehearsed hosting and the judges' comments just pale in comparison to other shows. they sound...like they're trying too hard to please the audience at times.

hockey hockey tomorrow!yay!

3 days. 3 books. one trilogy. The Black Magicians'.

and the day i attempt to start on a more relevant book...it's impossible.

and i just remembered that i've got to get to school in 7 hours time -_-

i was groaning and groveling, well, that's the closest i can describe my actions after the math paper today. on the verge of tears, my body limp.my voice became hoarse from the incoherent words i threw out from my throat. but lucky they were there to help me forget, or at least mask the torturous feeling of knowing that i'm just going to fail so badly this time. we jogged, we sprinted, we tried yelling our hearts out(as loud as we could go without seeming mad on the track) to remove any poisonous feeling pierced into my body from Math. it helped, with a little dose of hockey, physical exertion is still an effective remedy. sprinkle a little acrobatics on and i'll feel much better. just don't mention the word 'maths paper' for the next week or so to me. i think 'econs paper' and 'geog paper' are in the list of banned words too.

yesterday~
" Study day 2 in cafe pralet. A little boring, but i ordered iced chocolate again. And this time- cake is mango mambo(the name's rather cheesy), but it's quite nice although plain. Reminds me of my favourite mango pudding.

A little interesting but annoying at the same time, was the two people sitting at the table next to me. One i know, a primary school acquaintance, but we haven't acknowledged each other yet. They've been talking for a few hours now, and i've been trying to block them out, but being next to me, it's rather loud. But the topics are rather interesting(don't mean to be eavesdropping), it's uh, public 'good'. So far, i've found out the other person is a psychology student in...NUS i think. There was talk about relationships and compatibility, then universities, and career and courses. The second time i'm hearing that business degrees are a waste of money. Psychology sounds interesting, but a little limited in career choices. Working still sounds the best.haha.


Physical geog hydro processes is getting really dry, and i've got no choice as i left my gc at home-_-
It forces me to do geog i guess, no matter how much i want/need to do math instead.

Seafood baked rice. Pretty good, since it's their specialty. It has fresh salad on the side. It,s butter herbed rice with peas and carrots, mushrooms, fish and prawn, topped with a generous amount of mozzarella cheese. Yum. " - 3rd September 2009, 7.30pm

RAWR. this is the umpteenth time that i just want to slap myself silly right now! or rather for being silly. yes, today's two papers down already, so i came home to relax awhile, and in the end ENDED UP READING ANOTHER MANGA AND SQUEALING TO MYSELF. haiz. seriously, manga reading is really an addictive thing. but i just can't help it. the prospect of having to study econs...makes me want to put as much distance away from it as i can...so i avert myself to manga. a much MUCH more pleasurable way to pass time. Faster than a kiss - another shojo manga i'm dying to know the continuation.

From yesterday~
" Rawr. I seriously can't concentrate. It's one day to go and i'm trying to spam bio into my head.

I'm located at cafe pralet, a cafe run in conjunction with a culinary school i've been wanting to take classes from for quite awhile. The atmosphere's good, good music, nice staff and good food. AND IT'S A FIVE MINUTE WALK AWAY FROM MY HOUSE. Haha. It,s relatively quiet when it's not lunch hour, so it's much better than ikea with the screaming babies and artic airconditioning. The only downside i can think of is the wonderful array of cakes and pastries they have here, at a rather reasonable price of 3 to 4 bucks.= i'm really gonna get fat studying here.haha.

So far i've ordered a ice chocolate and Pralet- their signature chocolate praline cake. Starting with the drink, it was normal, nothing special. The cake it's like normal praline cake too. A good balance of chocolate mousse and chocolate cake, plus the chocolates isn't overpowering, so you don't really get sick of it fast, unlike some other richer cakes. Now, i just love the service. There's a small cup of warm water that came with the order, and when that finished, she automatically replenished it even though i didn't order anything else. This is what i call good service. The staff is friendly, albeit both sounded filipino, they're so much friendlier than some others. It's like they're just able to cheer you up with a smile:) ok maybe because i'm located near the kitchen door that i smell all the cooking and oil, but it's not too bad that i can't tolerate it, and it's my choice that i'm staying here for hours on ends.

Did i mention the cafe itself inspires me to hop right into the kitchen and whip up some delish items..i can't wait for december to come :D

Oh and right before i go back to bio, the staff at cotton on was top notch i would say- cheerful, the ultimate at being helpful and outgoing. Haha.

I'm all motivated now:) " - 2.15pm,1st September 2009

blogger is still screwing with me on my new post page...but no matter. i've got better news than this to blog about.

like today. uh, i wouldn't say it's i-witnessed-a-murder-and-got-kidnapped-then-saved-a-little-girl-whose-mother-was-killed exciting, but to me it's rather insightful. i shall start with the boring bits, such as waking up early, close to the time that i can make it to school for like automatically, say 6.50am..but i went back to sleep anyway. but the surprising thing was, i contemplated starting early to study when i woke up then..hm. well, i headed off the the library (whenever i head there, it's always to RETURN a book..the reading and borrowing are um, a result of going to the library). but this time i managed to control myself! a little at least. i mean i still picked a book up, or two..but i 'finished' one of the romance novels, and part of the 'Ideas Generator' guidebook for businesses, in 2 hours? haha. only possible because after reading a hundred odd pages, i decided to be smart for once and skip to the last chapter..thus tada! i finished the book, and realized it was another virtual reality game plots...now, this is the third literary item that i've read this year about virtual reality, and i really hope it'll be developed soon(well it has to already have been developed, if not how do the authors get the details about VR games from and the inner workings?), or at least released to the public. it'll be so exciting! oh yea, and i managed to cover earthquakes and volcanoes (a little behind schedule i know).

Lunch was at 3pm, i travelled from bukit merah library to anchorage. to satisfy my subway craving. But JUST as i stepped out of the library, it started to drizzle. and the bus that i took, stopped at a bus stop which i had to walk for at least 10 mins unsheltered to anchorage(and the rain by this time was as if under multiple powerful showerheads.) but lucky me, i grabbed the umbrella instinctively as a rushed out of the house. really, did the rain have to wait for me to finally leave the library before it poured? as if it rained specially for me. or maybe BECAUSE i had an umbrella that it decides to rain. there's a pattern i noticed though. for two days in a row...the skies opened up to me as i stepped outdoors. i think it rained..specially ON me.

Subway was good..i finished two cookies as well even though i know i shouldn't have. one was subway's, the other my own. i really prefer homemade cookies now. subway's was just SUGAR OVERLOAD. i resumed, uh..vectors this time. and as usual, time flies for math. i had a little time to skim through a few Economist articles..the one for GP, not econs haha. before letting myself go buy 3 new pairs of shorts from cotton on. NOW, before you comment or think otherwise...these three pairs of shorts are needs, not wants. reasons being...shall be elaborated below.

my dad then came to pick me after my 30min shopping spree, to go for dinner with my mom and her colleagues at the usual amoy street cze char stall. it was mostly auntie Q talking..in dialect, with smatterings of english. i could understand the gist of the conversation, mostly about a banker's life and the internal workings. mostly internal conflicts and uh..scoldings, nervous breakdowns, resignations et cetera..and she put it 'advise for me from the experienced'. and yes..she did comment about me...i looked 'different'. to be more exact when she elaborated.. the two Fs. Fairer and Fatter aka 'put on weight'. yes i knew that unconsciously, but when someone put it out bluntly...it really makes an impact. and yes, here's where i elaborate my need for those shorts. because i can barely fit into my current ones. i can't fit into some already, and even the pants. thus i need new ones, which i predict will at least be in use for the next 6 months. (that's assuming i can fit back into my current ones in the future.) it's only been 3 months! and already people can tell the difference. ugh. my mom did comment at this point: 'Yea, she puts on weight quite fast'. UGH, i really can't wait for the studying to be done to start on my future exercise regime. at least 4 times a week i tell you! i've got no issue with the fairer bit, i mean since i've been cooped up in the library and under shade the past three months, i'll just be weird if i didn't shed the black.

and lastly, a inspirational quote from the Idea Generator:

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

oh i love Einstein now..

mmm. i just spent the last hour looking through photos. it really brings all the fond memories rushing back...when times were fun and good.

it was a much needed break from studying....or rather attempted studying. today's productiveness just totally went downhill after the previous post.attempted complex numbers, but failed drastically, hence the time was spent on looking at solutions instead. and then when i tried to move on to firms..my brain just shut down and refused to absorb anything. and that's it?! i can't even believe it myself. that's all i accomplished in 10 hours- finishing off gummies, kinder bueno and wang wang along the way as well. part of the wasted hours were due to the two magazines i bought yesterday, and various compulsive habits of mine. I don't know how many times i must remind myself never to ATTEMPT to stay home and study ever again (if i ever want to be productive).

but i guess a break is always needed, and i'm seeing a pattern of one day break every 6 days. typically the break would include reading, and it's alternating between romance novels and manga. of the past month, it has been pretty consistent, from Something Wonderful [Judith MacNaught), 1/2 Prince, The Food of Love [Anthony Capella], and this week was Kyou koi wo Hajimemasu. it keeps me sane, especially when i've been staying in school till 9pm for the past two weeks to study. can't say that it's the most productive after a full day of lessons, but it's better than nothing.

oh yes, i wanted to talk about the ressurrection of our 06ip01 class blog! thanks to andy, i doubt any of us would have even bothered with it..it's like this thing chucked at the back of your closet which you won't touch until the next spring cleaning. well, nothing much changed except the top picture, and the extensive links, one of which caught my eye.
wearepaperplanes - i'm assuming it's a blog created by juniors, content of which is very interesting, original compositions about nj ip school life. hilarious as hell.

I should go sleep. if not at least attempt a little more at firms. i can't believe there's only two days left.

" Here i am, stuck at a pavillion beside the singapore river during my once-in-a-blue-moon morning run. Did a 20 min run in my new shoes, and then stopped to seek shelter. Alas, the rain got heavier as i did my stretching. 20mins of run to 1 hour of stretching and some non- commital conditioning exercises. I need to lament on my loss of the flexibility i was so proud of as well.I haven't had my breakfast, and my tummy's starting to protest.

But sitting isolated just watching the rain can be therapeutic...or so how i'd like to think it is. You see some hard core runners drenched running past, and the beauty of the private houses by the river. Oh how much i'd like to live in one of these apartments overlooking the albeit not-so-clean river. I counted the number of floors there were, 40. Next to it is a rather rectangular-ish 9 storey apartment. And next to that is another private development under construction. Imagine, waking up to a rainy sunday morning like this(or sunny if you prefer), making some hot chocolate or juice, then lounging on the balcony overlooking the river. Depending on the weather- rainy or sunny, the time of day- morning or night, the company- with your thoughts or a loved one. Such bliss it would bring.
But blissfulness comes with a price. As always.

But just standing around in the rain while i should be studying is a little disconcerting. The river...despite the increase in volume from the rain, and lesser frictional drag from the smooth sides, the discharge is still rather slow. As compared to surface flow on the pavement, the discharge is much higher due to a steeper gradient and eddies are created by the disruptions to water flow. Now standing between two buildings, the Venturi effect is taking place, with wind being funnelled through a narrow space. Wind velocity is increased with turbulence as the pillars are this time disrupting air flow.

I think i'm being a sitting duck to mosquitoes right now. But i still don't regret not accepting my parent's offer to pick me up from my current location an hour ago when the rain got heavier. I'll grab whatever alone time i can have with nature.

Oh F that asshole who just walked in and lit up. ASSHOLE.

Now's the time for me to seize the chance to run in the rain!" - 10.20am


i've had my morning run, my breakfast, my bath, read Lifestyle, and it's noon. Time to move on to my studies.

and one last thing... THE TIME TRAVELLER'S WIFE IS COMING OUT IN MOVIE THEATERS ON 3RD SEPTEMBER. dang, i so wanna go and watch it....

i've been through majorly variable moodswings lately. ugh. depression is so...negative.

my longest school day ever (thursday 20/8/2009) - 6.30am i was in school, till 9pm. that's 14 and a half hours. as compared to the time i spend at home awake, is only 5 hours. wow.

watched treasure island on tv ...till now it's still one of my favourite movies. the immense possibilities the future holds, the adventures, and happy ending.

i want to go on a journey.

i'm feeling my brain deteriorate slowly, with lesser and lesser concentration span each day.
it's two more weeks to go and don't tell me i'm already burnt out at my limit.

haute couture - grad night's theme although it's not officially announced. a little late aren't they?

i have finished another manga.
someone, stop me please.

i have wasted another saturday away.
my self control is apparently non-existent.
and here i finished two manga series...
not good.

In the Library.

'The Bears Discussing'
'The Sole Survivor'

Studying is lonely. expecially when you've got to concentrate and study alone. It brings out the introvert in you. It makes you independent. But it's so sad. I'm slowly losing my mind to this madness. Getting home after a long day of study and the sky is dark, but you reach home and the house is quiet. There's no one around to prepare dinner. Dinner becomes a one-man affair as well. The irony of buying home 'five-star chicken rice' only to share it with the glow of the television.

Remember. Nobody wants to be alone.

i have sinnned against myself throughout this whole weekend. I totally blasted most of my self-rules within 3 days. Blasphemy!

1) I finished another judith macnaught book i borrowed from the library on friday. Something Wonderful the title was. how ironic when i precisely went to the library to study that day right after the celebrations. but it was a wonderful book though.

2) I ate overly full. Even on my birthday itself i was satisfied, but not to the extent of my tummy bursting at its seams. It'll take at least another 50 rounds on the track to redeem myself.

3) I watched Marley and Me on my brother's computer. Harry Potter was meant to be my last movie till anthe End of As.

4) I went on facebook. that's not too bad since i spend no more than 10 mins on it. That's as long as i don't click on mafia wars and sorority life.

5) I watched TV continously for uh, about 4 hours straight on saturday night. most were on National Geographic, so i could argue that it's rather educational. Secrets of the Tang Treasure Ship, Korea Sparkling: Unlocking the Grid about congestion, Life after People...

6) I made pancakes. nothing wrong about that, but it took almost as long as baking.

7) It's getting less relevent, but i spent more than i should on a new pair of earphones of lower quality than my currently spoilt pair.

8) Just to make it a nice number, i actually blogged three times in all today. I shouldn't even be blogging. but it unwise not to, since it's part of the stress relieving process of ranting.

I shall go back to watching 300 on channel 5.

Today's an amusing day. And i've only been awake for an hour. First, i've got a lesbian couple standing next to me on the first bus. I don't know if it's obvious. But being from a girl's school before allows you to spot a few details. The 'Guy' looked like a well-dressed young man, except that the facial features were nicely sculpted with big expressive eyes, but wasn't what you would call feminine. From the short waxed hair, shirt, pants, big watch and cologne, that's how i would imagine jo would be like in a few years time. The partner would always be the one looking like...well a normal lady. The details that gave it away: fourth finger matching rings on the right hand, the little gestures a conservative couple would allow in public. The way she would look into her eyes when they talk. As if she's the only one in the world. I'm a little envious there, which i think anyone non-homophobic would feel as it's kinda sweet. Alright, i got a little carried away on that. But just another detail. The earstud was on the left ear. The right had a ring through the upper lobe.

Secondly, not much exciting, but the bus i was on managed to overtake my second bus right before the busstop i had to alight at, which is pretty convenient once i alighted. And my buses didn't make me wait more than 5 mins today, which is a good sign.

Thirdly, i managed to cook pasta in the morning and not be late. As compared to last week where i made bread alone and was late.

Fourthly, FD has an earstud/stick on his left.

Fifth, bukit timah is once again jammed in the morning. Oh how i miss those jam-free days.

Lastly, it's the first time i've reached school without taking a bite out of my breakfast:)

There's nothing much to do but observe the wonderful mornings.

-7.38am

Bio lesson- My theory is that stupidity is passed on as a trait. Environmental changes has allowed less intelligent beings to survive (due to technology simplifying once-complicated processes) and thus is not selected against through evolution.

-2pm

I'm suprised at myself for not falling asleep in any classes or during my studying period today. Which is an achievement when i slept for less than 4 hours last night.

-4.20pm

My unwillingness to spend money on food in school has caused me to spend even more outside. I left school intending to buy ONE slice of cake for myself near my house, but due to a series of different events from planned, i ended up at Sun Moulin, spending abt 8 bucks on bread and cakes. That's what a hungry stomach does to me. Ah, but what nice bread they were. And now i'm a pork-floss bun convert as compared to before, i didn't touch pork floss buns at all. The mini mango chiffon was nothing much though. Tasted like normal steamed egg buns.

Last night i just caved into satisfying a chocolate craving which prompted me to make the decadent chocolate molten cake. It may have seemed unfortunate that i accidentally overbaked it and it became chocolate cake, but it was what i call a heavenly treat in disguise. I spooned a scoop of chocolate ganache over, then warmed it in the microwave. Hello warm chocolate cake heaven!

Let's hope the strawberry shortcake doesn't disappoint me now:)

-7.13pm

it truly was a thoughtful day. and i didn't even bother to mention that i got back my first U grade for common test papers. i was too busy observing other things. well, the strawberry shortcake did disappoint me a little, with grainy sponge and not very sweet cream, despite the big juicy strawberries. we'll see what tomorrow brings.

this shall be my 'study' log of today. note the inverted commas.

1. Woke up at 9.30am intending to study despite 5 hours of sleep.

2. checked and replied to numerous emails (and voted for clearcache for SBA, and a little more surfing) till uh...1.40pm. oh yes, my wonderful discovery of ladyironchef

2.1. had breakfast at about 11am

3. 1.40am: Layed out my studying table in my room [ok, it's just a mahjong table]

4. Started flipping through David Waugh and AQA on Urbanisation.

5. Fell asleep on table at about 2.50pm.

6. Woke up to change my head position at 3.10pm.went back to nap.

7. Woke up and moved to bed at 3.30pm.

8. Slept till 5.30pm.

9. Refreshed myself and made my 'survival tray'.

10. 5.45pm - continued reading AQA on urbanization.

11. 6.30pm - went onto National Geographic Website..and internet surfing continued all the way, comparing phones and laptops on CNET to replace my current gadgets.

12. 2 hours later...i'm blogging this post. heh.

and guess what, lunch was skipped, dinner hasn't been prepared. i think this is the day i ate the least[wow.] [vegetarian bee hoon for breakfast, peanut pancake as snack at 1pm, brownies smeared with nutella and a cup of milk at 6pm]. alright..not all that little.

since i'm already blogging, i've got tons of events i haven't updated. even my pre-u sem post is still unfinished.

and just a summary, for those who do not need my long-winded lengthy details on the events.

saturday- heeren mugging, QUIS preformance SSF, cosplay event, SG24 gathering

sunday - reads and tuition and captain's present production

monday - hockey chalet cum handover

tuesday - cycling,aftermath of chalet effects

wednesday - crescent hockey outing, project runway, tim gunn's guide to style, mass wardrobe packing

SHIT I JUST MISSED NINJA WARRIOR! ): - 9.10pm

ok..this post is seriously interrupted by many things, since before i move on, my dinner's taking on centerstage! Healthy & delicious pasta (it has carrots AND celery), pam's expertise at the microwave conjured up this delectable meal for one, to provide me with energy to type out the rest of this post. what would have made it out of this world would be some company...

the sauce. (maybe it's a little too much...)

plus the pasta (:

Alrighties! back on to the mundanes of my life.

starting with saturday[13th june], (since friday was shamefully boring of surfing the net), it was a pretty hectic day. My intention to get up into one of orchard's starbucks by noon was hindered by house chores and well, my usual slowness. Still, managed to settle into Heeren's Spinelli with a cup of Chcolate twist (it's just ice-blended chocolate) at 2pm, and started on Chenchel's birthday card. that spent half an hour away, before i finally started on math - Permutations and Combinations. a frustrating subject for a person with little logic, and thankfully i had more than a little, but still, one and a half hours only got me through 5 questions? Sometime among that, Gimlim dropped by with David Waugh, an expertise on geography. Waugh stayed on with me at the table quietly stressing me with geog, while i frustrated over math.

at 4.15pm, it was time to head over to *scape where QUIS [david's band] performed some jap songs for Singapore Street Fest. [Liu] Min was supposed to accompany me for the mugging session as well as the performance, but she was somewhere else. So i met aleee, michelle & her boyfriend...and then junfu and john....and then edwin {by this time, the performance was already over} Took a bit of photos, caught up with david, before i had to rush down with Waugh to Somerset MRT to meet Shihui, another dear drama senior. Min came then, missing the gig completely, and apparently was looking around the wrong event area for me.

Jasmine coincidentally popped up, and we stood around discussing all things Jap. Soon, Waugh twin number 2 came, I thanked Waugh's babysitter, then left with Min and the Waugh twins back to attempt to pose with cosplayers from Vampire Knight. alas, both cosplayers left, and so the quartet of us headed for cineleisure. by this time, i decided not to head on to holland V for chenchel's birthday dinner at Swensen's regrettably, as it was drizzling and carrying Waugh twins around are no mean feat. Met up with aleee and gang, at Heeren's Pasta de Waraku, before i left Min there for dinner and headed for my next destination - Breadtalk. and the closest was Wisma. and so i speedwalked manouvering around crowded saturday orchard choppers, bought cake, and headed down to sunset way [still with Waugh twins, they were accompanying me home]

This party, exclusive to SG24 members, was held at yanka's house, where pizza, China coke, cake, chips, chicken wings and rice crackers were abound. played some failed drinking game(which i finally learnt properly at chalet), and sang Isabelle a Happy 17th Birthday song! soon enough, the pool closed and no one swam, and everyone left except me, joyce and mad on to yanka's house. for a party, leaving at 10pm is rather early, but you gotta consider the 15 minute deserted walk out to the main road , and people living real far away. We played Asshole/Rectum daidee, while waiting for my parents to come pick me up. ta da. an end to my saturday the 13th. sadly we didn't take any photos of the SG24 party, and didn't eat any of the cold cakes! [we only fed off mad's japanese light cheesecake]

my recuperating sunday was spent with Meredith Bancroft and Matthew Farrell in Paradise. My last two posts dated on sunday/monday were due to literary-inspired-syndrome, where my mind just becomes engrossed in literature. My only break from the book, was caused by my tuition teacher turning up on the doorstep, which i was pretty unprepared for. once that was over...back to the book! yes, non-stop reading of 709-pages of romance turmoil, all the way into monday. in between reading was the snail-bitingly slow process of producing the captain's present for hockey handover. [ironically it should be the book was distracting the production process.] so, if you figured under all that prose, i didn't sleep till i finished the book.

Monday. a fine line to be drawn, overlapped with sunday, but i spent the morning sleeping from 8am to noon. just a precautionary measure to prevent me from keeling over and fainting from lack of sleep later. moved aimlessly around the house for the next three hours, before i left for the chalet, so that i wouldn't get too high too early with everyone around [it takes a lot of energy to be around people, and i have very little of that on that day], cooked an unsatisfactory lunch.

arrived at costa sands close to 5pm. where i joined in the bridging club in the cooler air-conditioned room before dinner. as usual, i don't eat much at barbeques, played more bridge, and participated in some camwhoring so favoured by my team. I skipped the Saw premier in the living room and went up to play MORE bridge, while waiting for handover to start. looking at how much effort the juniors put into the handover itself, i was really touched, and a little embarressed at the state of the previous years'. but also, it shows that next year's team is in real good hands! after the Video, there's the receiving of presents on the senior's side, then the official announcement of EXCO positions. Captains' speeches, one real heart-wrenching, while the other ended with anti-climax [seriously, i can never get the effect i want with speeches. they either convey the wrong mood, or end too abrubtly :/]

after that was more camwhoring, and I again, stayed with the BBQ pit like an old hen mother or chaperone. while the girls went off to the beach and pool. sometimes i wonder if i'll ever truly relax and be able to shuck off that responsible attitude of mine. and so, there was chicken wings and chicken breast leftover, and then ICE was the next to be barbequed.right. when the girls came back, we played the torturous drinking game with water [it should be called 'who has the biggest bladder!'] and i a little twister with the junior girls. there was the most silent game of mahjong ever, and then norman challenged the 'TWISTER MASTER' to the floor. the master retained her title! woohoo! went to sleep sometime there= 5.30am.

woke up with the sun in my face on tuesday morning. had breakfast, went cycling, and just as i thought i was going to emerged unscathed from the two hours of cycling, i had to get my big toe jammed in between the pedal and road curb. oucch. me no likey throbbing toe, it's very distracting before going to sleep. lunch after cycling, then me and derek left for home. both of us just slept all the way through from pasir ris to tiong bahru, and i alighted and walked back to an empty home close to 5pm. took my bath, unpacked, nursed my toe, did a little reading, and took a nap at about 8pm. was jolted awake closer to ten, for dinner. chicken rice. when you're tired, food doesn't taste that good ): and i went back to my bed to sleep at 11pm. sleepy me.

wednesday's outing was pretty aburpt. i only got the message sometime during my nap the day before.met sijing, yujie, christie and crystal at vivocity, and the rest came soon after. joyene, nanthini and melody. a crescent hockey lunch outing..we headed to Fig and Olives for the meal, the cheapest we could find without walking too much and without walking into a fast food restaurant. the meal was good, the company was great. although I could say that for me, most of the outing was an observation session of my past teammates. they've changed so much, away from the safe haven called crescent, i've been away for far too long. we adjourned to topshop, forever 21 and puma for window shopping, before going up to the hot hot roof for some camwhoring. after that was relief to my dessert craving for cake at Bakerzin! the half-price New York Cheesecake just hit the right spot (: Nanthini left then, and then we went over to Harbourfront's foodcourt for some nerd mugging session! haha. unexpected for a hockey outing! left by about 6pm since i had tuition again at home. guess who was coincidentally huddled at the table behind us mugging! Leejing! haha. noticed her only when i was about to leave..until the next mugging session hockers!

photos on facebook for the events i described.

whew.

in the end, i still like my tablet and n95 phone the best. familarity breeds love. no? haha.

so much for studying.

concluded: 11.24pm