i'm relatively happier now than i was earlier in the day. almost had another breakdown. which isn't a very comforting thought in school. the cause of it was mostly due to the stresses of school and teachers and the upcoming prelims. there's not much time left, i haven't started on revision although i WANT to. mostly because i can't finish my homework yet.really should take matt's advice : some homework just don't deserve to be done. haha. but that's the most practical thing now. if not revision will never start. however, i did cheer up when we had GP, despite the not very impressive comprehension we got back. but it's productive! GP of all subjects, but i find it more interesting than bio nowadays. learning about structures and how to answer questions properly, is encouraging, and i feel like i'm actually learning something useful!

and so on my bus ride home, many decisions were made. i was about to go to great world city and mug a little, but i took phina's advise and decided not to, since i was partially brain dead and pretty tired. and then it occured to me that today was thursday - my running day. and i didn't get to run after pe due to bio consolidation. and so i thought: i'd put my bag down at home, then go run before buying dinner home. i did that eventually, but i was contemplating on swimming too..nice cool waters.but i got lazy with limited time constraints. and as i passed by zouk area, inspiration hit me to run in another direction - down singapore river!
so i took only about 10mins to reach liang court and clarke quay, then ran about fort canning park a little, before running back. on the way back, an open-top purple hippo bus was passing by in front of me, filled with high tourists.. and so i waved! which is probably the best thing that happened all day. they started waving back, all smiles, and their enthusiasm infected me. one of them even shouted 'you can stop running!' (because i was jogging on the spot waiting for the traffic light to turn green) it was warm, hilarious, a real mood lifter. if you saw me then, there was a smile on my face. Running along the singapore river, down robertson quay, right in the middle of clarke quay (that i don't want happening again...it's a little attention grabbing...) but there were nice food smells drifting out to me from the restaurants as i ran by. mostly a tourist area with caucasians and some asians about.

came home, got a relatively healthy dinner (cai fan with two veges), took my bath and watched the new 42" LCD tv. finally relaxed. and now i'm going to sleep. the 40minute run was tiring. i'll post presents another time.

Edit: Presents i got from people
Hockey: Tea tree oil care range from The Body Shop
Anne&Ariel: 500 recipes for muffins
brother: The Wild Things
classmates: CAKE.
myself: Zara Wedges (:

technically it's still my birthday because i was born at 7 plus in the morning! i think. haha.

it was a relatively enjoyable birthday, didn't expect as much things to happen as it did today, and they happened! and then i've got to thank all the hockey people, my classmates, my family and the random people who wished me happy birthday! especially the presents...(i got a full body shop tea tree range....feeling a little guilty here.) i'm proud of myself of finally being grown up enough to think that even if it was my birthday, it's still no excuse from studying.

that's my priority now. (finally, for once in my life studying is somewhat important and near the top of my list). i managed to scrap out some essay outlines and finish bio essay tutorials before i left school, but i'm still really far behind on my revision! help! rushed home to get changed before my family went out for dinner. got to wear my new wedges (: but sometime in between the dinner, it felt as though it wasn't going as how it should, and i kinda sulked a alittle. probably due to the fact that my tumy wasn't feeling too well then to enjoy a japanese teppanyaki buffet at yuki yaki (and the food's not really that good anyway...just went there for the cold plate to make ice cream experience.). but it passed. and i ate VERY little cake. like one spoon of oreo cheesecake. haha. today i've had three cakes, that's just overload i tell you, even for a cake lover like me. Chocolate mouse with coffee in the morning, chocolate truffles in the afternoon, and oreo cheesecake at night. lets hope my tummy gets better

througout the course of the day. i learnt new things. from others, to myelf. i hope that with this birthday i'll grow into a better person for humanity.

i don't know why. but i always listen to my older brother no matter what he says. not necessarily that i'll follow his advice, but somehow it matters. even when he talks as if he's the only one who matters in the world, not caring about others attitude, basically his point of view. but sometimes it's convincing enough it makes sense. i guess that's just him. being able to manipulate people, convince them of what to do. thus he'll make a good financial planner = his current job. a little bit of a salesman somewhat.

and that talk with him over cooking and eating dinner and washing up (i was doing all the cooking and washing up; and him the talking) he made me rethink about university. earlier in the day, i was thinking about culinary school. not just pastry.he was positive about that. and then he brought in my parents' view and university. and then about business school. no use he says. and it made sense. haha. in a way. ok, it coincided with ms ting's comments in class too - about people getting good grades then going into business (implied as if business isnt all that, which is somewhat true with almost everyone in business as if it's mainstream) so now i'm back to square one. seriously at loss at what i want to do in uni. something fun, adventurous, out of the classroom. national geographic! haha. that would lead me into geography, but i'm not into the science. just the outdoors. environment. making people recycle. making the world sustainable.

this always happens just because i'm so easily swayed. lets just hope that can change very soon.

perhaps it was the significance of having my last 17-year-old dinner, i was in a pretty good mood, cooking for me, my brother and my dad, washing up, all on my own accord. perhaps it was the atmosphere. happy day = i'm being a helpful person, and i got to talk to my brother in a long time - without parents around. so i guess it's a pretty reflective or...don't really have a word to describe it, but, calming, to have a talk with siblings. older siblings (no matter how self-centred and lazy they are - well, my brother was saying how we should all just have dishwashers so we don't have to wash dishes, while I was washing all the dishes and he was eating ice cream) and so my nicest dinner i've cooked myself:

Fried Rice with ham and celery, Portobello Mushroom with Butter and Garlic (my signature), and lastly Grilled French Onion Bratwhurst.

pam is happy.

bought meself a present.

not everything's perfect, but one can't argue with a sale (:

my new study place:

grades update again (although i really should just leave it behind.) apparently there's moderation for bio. and so, my grades are exactly the same as last years' CTs. even all the subjects are in the right order :/ a pattern i see? let's hope the fluctuations work to my advantage.

i shouldn't be, but i'm only blogging because i was moved by it.

Pocahontas. premiered on channel 5 today at 7pm

Just found out that Pocahontas was a real person living in the 1500s, and the cartoon being a summary of a small part of her life. (by wikipedia of course)

But right after watching the movie, many things can be learnt from it.

First and foremost, it's a romance story, albeit without the happy ending. which i suppose is a good change although a little heartbreaking, to show that life doesn't allows end up as how we thought it'll be. The romance itself promotes inter-racial relationships (how apt in singapore), that differences such as language barriers and cultures can be overcome, if you allow it to.

Next, the plot: english colonists and native american lands. partly history here, but it does show how our world was propelled into becoming urbanised, becoming unsustainable as compared to the native american ways. So there's the environmental message - human activities has led to the destruction of nature and ecosystems, turning a once colourful and beautiful world into dull grey and brown from dirt and machinery. and then we try to replace the lost colours of nature artificially through beautification with paint. ( Our shopping centres are seriously getting too gaudy. i'll prefer the scenery i saw up Mt. Bubu two years ago - i do hope to climp more than one mountain in my lifetime.)

Human greed is also shown, in a negative light, just as well to teach our young (who really should learn this) to not be manipulative and be distorted by greed and the lure of wealth. I guess materialism comes in as well, needing to acquire the best, more than others, just to show superiority.

Others would include misconception between two groups of people thus causing conflicts ( think muslims and americans in the modern world ), priorities - choosing between one's heart's desires and responsibilities, sometimes parents are not always right (haha), having the freedom to choose one's own path in life, and the need for the wiser elders to guide the young.

alright. that's enough rantings.

oh yes. watched harry potter and the halfblood prince on thursday with my family. not great. due to the cuts in the original plot, made it seem skippy and disconnected, as with the other movies.

and daniel radcliffe looks small as compared to all the other actors (go drink more milk?)

and emma watson's pretty (:

i want!

zara wedges that were on sale...spotted at zara.

it's just been so busy...and now i'm up to my neck drowning in just homework.

well, photo post again. no time to elaborate (although i should be practicing elaboration for ALL my essays no matter what subject it is. meaning that my weakness in scoring level 1 or level 2 marks is due to lack of details and rigour in my essays, and probably lack of evaluation as well.)

Chocolate Amer by Bakerzin. chocolate mousse and cake. alright, nothing special.

Outing on Off-in-Lieu. Tuesday 21st July 2009. Supposedly study session at National Library, then Suntec-Marina Square window shopping, then Millenia Walk's Bakerzin.

Spaghetti Bolognese @ Swensons'

Ariel + some burger @ Swensons'

sheena, anne @ Swensons'

i + ariel @ Swensons'

thin people + burgers @ Swensons' (the size of the burger is improportionate to the person)

anne @ Mango.

anna overtowering pam in heels. @ zara

pam liking wedges (: @ zara

mango mousse @ bakerzin (ariel.yum...)

Newyork cheese @ bakerzin (sheena)

Tiramisu @ bakerzin (anne)

ariel promoting cake.

ariel eating cake.

ariel liking cake.

my free Warm Chocolate cake. @ bakerzin

fin. @ esplanade.

Cafe call with Christine - Wednesday, 22nd July 2009 @ Caramel & Hairloom (Shaw tower)

Creme Brulee.

Bread and Butter Pudding with Vanilla Ice Cream. YUM.

love the wall. so reminds me of the ikea cloth i bought (:

shoppe + salon.

love the interior (:

table.

Pretty sky - 24th July 2009 @ Kitchen Window

sadly my phone camera can't capture the real vivid colour. injustice to nature!

tweaked the contrast a little...closer to nature.

this is just a pretty exaggeration. blood orange sky (:

Grades update.

GP- D

Math- U

Biology- U

Economics- E (after moderation)

Geography- D

looks like my marks have yet to pass the halfway mark...

Fear has given way to dejection, if there is such a word.

Just an hour ago i was so motivated and had reason to rant about the purpose of education in junior college. But now, i've lost some inspiration already.

The trigger- my bio marks. It wasn't as bad as my math. So i was pretty prepared for the ugly marks. What enraged me was when the questions were went through.

All i can say is, what's with the questions, or the demand of excessive answers? I know singaporeans are kiasu, but if the question only asks for lets say a and b, why would you need to give a, b AND c?! They want us to answer the question, fine. We answer them. But marks aren't given completely because you didn't give the answer you're supposed to INFER from the question, or FURTHER ELABORATION. this is a science subject, not bloody gp. They give us notes to study, but the answers are not in the notes. Wow.

And now, after getting econs back, all emotions have just fled.

What's the point of studying hard when you've still got to work a lot more after getting the piece of laminated paper to get somewhere?

It took me a week to get over math and start the momentum, i wonder how long it's going to take this time. And i don't have time.

-11.38am

Pam is scared. VERY SCARED.

i shall upload photos of njc's off-in-lieu another day.

it's too risky to my new found motives - generated by fear.

Pam has no school tomorrow.

Pam just ate another chocolate cake today.

Pam is freaked about the little time left to prelims.

Pam is going to eat more dessert tomorrow.

Pam is going to study tomorrow.

Pam is totally wasting time on Facebook.

Pam needs to get on with serious studying.

Pam passed Geography.

Pam lost her sense of joviality in a process called school.

Pam has yet to eat dinner.

Pam is not liking dinner ):

Pam wants you to save her.

sniffles. looks like the afternoon nap i had wasn't a good one after all. but i hope my body's recuperating fast enough.

Shape RUN '09 this morning = 5km run. i was aiming 30mins (pfft. as if i'll hit it in my current unfit condition, as calculated it would be 2min10sec a round. egad.) but coming in at 35min was pretty good anyway. 8000 women running, mostly in pink. what a sight. but you should have seen the queue to collect the runner's kit aka goodie bag after the run. WOW. that's what you get when you put free stuff and singaporean women together. haha. I got a free sports massage too! at a booth by Dr. Joint Pai

n. (how apt the name is..)but didn't feel much difference after anyway.

had lunch with my mom after, at Marina Square's Fin Seafood Restaurant.

Verdict: don't go there.

Seriously. i thought the atmosphere looked pretty ok, it was about 10.30, brunch? i didn't want to eat seafood, but since my mom was paying, and citibank's 1-for-1 offer was on, we went anyway. waiter's service was not bad, but the food....was a different story. Mom had Seafood Aglio Olio, i had Pan-fried Atlantic Cod. I thought it wasn't gonna be enough (the waiter did mention that it'll be a little small), so i had two top ups, Seafood clam chowder soup and butter rice. Let's go one at a time:

Seafood Aglio Olio: Mom said seafood wasn't fresh. I thought it was a little too oily (not Lao Beijing's oily, but still oily), but pasta was cooked right was the only consolation.

Atlantic cod: Mom said wasn't fresh, i thought it was plain, needed more of the Herb Butter (which looked like the garlic spread i have at home). Salad was sprayed with vinegrette, and i do not like sour. Salad wasn't fresh, could see the brown ends. Mash Potato: it was totally instant.

Butter rice: nothing like what i expected. sweet and spicy. and i don't take sweet rice nor have a tolerance for chilli. waiter said: Thai Sauce. they should change the name to Fried rice- thai style. Mom said, rice is too soft and mushy.

Clam Chowder: Mom- Too salty. Me - i was taking prawn feelers and legs and shells out of the soup while drinking. doesn't help that i don't eat clams.

Drinks: Peach tea tasted diluted. mom had Latte.

And when my mom commented the food was terrible, the waiter came with complimentary vanilla ice-cream with chocolate sauce. that's nice service. but the ice cream wasn't good either -_-. the centre of the scoop had ice chunks. for the bill: $38 after discount. $20 a person isn't worth it.

i think Fin should stand for finished.

pictures can sometimes be misleading. it looked pretty before it went into my mouth.

and then we went over to suntec for carrefour grocery shopping, AGAIN. and i got a new pair of running shoes, as according to my mom, i should have an alternate pair if i'm running so much. its uh, grey and green. not exactly the nicest colour, but they'll protect my feet from dying. got bakerzin macarons and cake on the way home too. macarons weren't what i expected either. it went soft.

Grand Cru Royale by Center PS

Love the hazelnut praline, rich chocolate mousse and crunch. comparable to Whisk bakerys' can't remember that name, but it was my favourite cake till now with whole hazelnuts in it. luckily i ran it off today, if not imagine the guilt i'd have of it coursing through my veins..

I ate the cake while Project runway's Season 5 finale aired on TV. LOVED le anne's dresses. Love karto's collection. and liked some of kenley's cute skirts.

I woke up this morning remembering another Dream

I was eating at max brenner's with aleee and another hockey guy (same level, but can't remember who), but it looked like fullerton hotel's chocolate buffet. Eating star shaped churros in chocolate fondue. Lots of chocolate, oh my, it was oh so good!(even if it was in a dream) the background somehow looked a little like tiong bahru plaza. Aleee paid for dinner cause she hadn't any small change. And then couples from nj that i just recently saw in school started walking pass our table, as if it was such a coincidence that they were going on a date in the same area. I know the dream continued with more chocolate and cake and eating.

Weird eh? I'm getting more dreams with links to recent events that already happened or i anticipated happening. It says something about my thoughts as well: Perhaps i'm reading my food blogs too much, as max brenner's and fullerton chocolate buffet were both mentioned here. And maybe the chocolate cake i ate the night before was so good it made me crave for more chocolate goodness:) as for the NJ couples, i was uh, observing a few around school..just as they happened to be near by. which included sitting outside the choir stall with sheena and WQ and V came by.(and there was more talk about couples today...)

Well, at least the chocolate's helping keep the depressive failure thoughts away.

I need more cake and chocolate.

i must congratulate myself. on staying in the school library after school till at least 5pm to do my homework and hopefully some revision for the past 3 days in a row. and thus a bought my self a slice of cake (: ok, the reason's just an excuse for me to justifying buying a $7 slice of cake from a bakery near my house (the one i mentioned on monday, but didn't go to. thus it probably was a good thing i didn't go on monday, because now i'm buying one premium slice of cake with the same amount of money i bought one slice of cake, a bun, and five mini buns on monday. it better be worth it.) it's called Cru Royale, recommended by a food blog i've been reading. i'll upload the picture once i've ate it. hopefully with a review.

the owner of the bakery was nice, had a short chat with him while i browsed the cakes. a nice quiant little store, but no sitting area. it's a little out of place though, in that old neighbourhood, to have a higher-priced patisserie located there. perhaps it's customers will come from the residents of the condominiums a little further away. after leaving the store, i had a little walk around the neighbourhood, a place i haven't been around for years despite the proximity to my house. it was quite nostalgic, passing by the place i used to walk around with my maid, past the neighbourhood community centre i did ballet, abacus and art classes at, a quiet little town so near the big bustling city (not that singapore is that big, i'm just refering to the CBD area here.) the old-world charm of post-war buildings, without much modern effects, mostly 4-storey walk-ups.they really should conserve this place. the Tiong Bahru estate area, it really is a gem.

i guess the walk really calmed me down from what happened earlier. mind you, my location was two storey's up, above the grandstand, at the area above the place where soccer people sit and have a view of the whole running track : (written on the bus in a fit of anger on the way home)

"This is one of the very rare times i detest soccer and their players so much. And in a very long time, made me want to shout the F word at them, that follows with a u, c, k. I mean what's the point of kicking a ball so high towards a wall such then when it drops back down, they have to climb up the stairs to retrieve it. Ok, it was most probably accidental (or the person who kicked the ball must have an unconscious grudge against the past hockey captain) for the ball to actually fly over the wall, and i didn't see who kicked the ball, but it seriously pissed me off.

It is also probably my luck, and as vinnie put it, my face is a ball magnet. The soccer ball travelling at who knows what speed, hitting me right square on the mouth just as i looked in the ball's direction. Which also meant that i did not see it coming towards me AT ALL. But vinnie did. This is the second time this year a ball hit my mouth (first was a hockey ball), but without any visible damages. Perhaps the balls are trying to knock out my two front teeth and get me to wear braces. One of them is still shaky from the last time. And it's the third or fourth ball to hit my face at all. Or maybe some higher force thinks my face is too ugly and wants to disfigure it. My inner sense of shame is preventing me from saying the reverse.

Seriously, i do not enjoy giving away free kisses to balls. " -6.05pm

so, today wasn't the best, with a cold rainy morning, me being late for school (again), and econs lecture being not productive at all, and me suffering from muscle aches from yesterday's 10-round run. but my class really has a way of adding spice (literally) into school life. as a result, there's a new healthy snack:

raw carrots dipped in Nutella.

weird. i know. but you can't really taste the carrots thanks to chocolate, so it taste like..crunchy nutella. XD

i need to find a new place to study. the school library is getting noisy. too noisy. so much for it being a LIBRARY.irony.

photo post..because i can now FINALLY post photos.

the long overdue wedding photo.from this post.

after exams - 1st July [ watched ice age 3 with trudy and sheena, walked around the half-opened Orchard Central. ]

some wall facade. damn cool as they're old VCRs and stuffs.

it's Heaven's Loft. DESSERTS!

the outside escalator down from the 7th floor.

view from the 7th.

pamtrudynana's future shop space.

the many many empty shop spaces

the escalator upppp.

guess.

it was shoes! of a really talllll lady!

2nd July - accidental meeting with liu and MEP people at central. dinner at Waraku.

audrey and her unagi don.with an extra bowl of udon.

my kuro kuro steak! YUM.

liu and her big bowl of creamy udon.

creamy udon.

3rd July - Ikea shopping in the morning.[IKEA annual clearance sale!] and ZOO outing!

audrey hepburn painting printed on canvas. it's so pretty and i think i saw it in gossip girl. it's really familiar.FOUND IN IKEA. i'm gonna buy it for my bachelorette pad (:

the cute tea tables for my future cafe (:

white tiger! RAWR.

CHICKS!
PONY.
4th July - w.i.s.h.e.s. outing at marina square, colorectal talk @suntec + bakerzin dinner with mom, nj past vs present hockey game.

roof of millenia walk. interesting architectural illusion.

Bakerzin set dinner. green pea soup + free flow bread.

Mushroom and bacon penne in cream sauce. barely tasted the cream. a little bland too.

part of the 2 cakes my mom bought from bakerzin. Oreo cheesecake and New York cheesecake.

July promotion = half price!

My chocolate heaven mentioned in the last post:

with ganache

melted ganache *sigh*