an unsatisfactory win. there's such a thing right.that's what i felt about today's match against MI. 1-0. i'm sure we could have done much better than that. the team. myself. but it's over, and we can only look forward to the next match.

today's my dad's birthday, which we went out to eat fancy dinner at Hibiki Restaurant(after seraching online for 2 hours just deciding where we wanted to have dinner at), a fine-dining jap restaurant at cuppage terrace. it's a nice cosy aesthetics, good food in reasonable/big portions, plus quality service. Really good place to have jap food if you like sashimi and have the money. there were a total of 6 of us, 4 took the buffet (citibank cards' offering 1 dines free for every 3 paying adults), and me and my brother's girlfriend took a la carte. even though mine was only a (hugantic) bowl of udon noodles, it was really filling, with fat, soft udon noodles that are still springy. DESSERT. the highlight of my day. Tofu Cheesecake. oh my. it was not the healthy tofu-tasting thing i expected. it was sweet, nicely cheesy, with whipped cream and redbean and choc droplets on the side. YUM. the yuzu jelly was refreshingly nice too. AH good food. sadly at some point i forgot to take photos of some other stuff. and then i didn't even have space for my dad's birthday cake.

the shoyu sauce and chilli flakes

california maki and salmon roll from the buffet

the sole remaining unagi sushi 

tempura tofu

the starting plate and arrangement (pretty!) 

nice big portion of TOFU CHEESECAKE!

tomorrow's another day of nationals. against MI. i'm pretty sure we'll win, and everyone believes that we're gonna win. but lets not let complacency and too much optimism cloud our goal. we will focus and push on, fight on, strive on to be the best. 

my bag's been killing my back. the weight of monday's books are deadweights. i think it's the cause my knee's been acting up (without the help of trusty glucosamine lately), and i feel the occasional soreness. please please please be fine and pain-free until the end of nationals! i loved the pain-free worry-free exercising feeling the past months, even up to a year, thanks to glucosamine. i guess i need to learn to leave heavier loads behind.

all the way!

i can't believe it. i was looking forward to taking part in the World Gourmet Summit since last year (despite the overly extravegant prices), and now, it's ending and i totally forgot to since up for any of the Masterclasses! There were a few this year concerning pastry, such as the Le Cordon Bleu Culinary and Patisserie Masterclass, and more importantly, the FREE Industry Workshop (Patisserie) which is over!  rawrrr.

in death brings lessons and learning. attended my uncle's wake yesterday, and will be later on as well. you can find him in the CATs classifieds obituaries section. 67 he was. Cancer is what my parents said. but we didn't think it was this far on and happened this fast. talked to a neighbour of his, about kids, education, family, siblings (all in chinese). made me think. but somehow as usual, i'm still emotionally detached. like what champagne said, the world is slowly being desensitized.

on a brighter note (amid a gathering thurderstorm), friday was a surprising day. SLA Spatial Challenge Poster Exhibition as well as Award Ceremony. FINALLY. an end to spending sundays doing the project. Our team knew how much(or little ) effort we put into this, thus the pessimism and eventually the surprise when we found out that we got 2nd place. like OMG, WOW. seriously. it totally made my friday. 

lastly, i await the hectic four days ahead of me.

thanks to everyone that fought along side me, alongside my team.our team. we finally did it, managing a triumph against old rivals. but it's only the start, don't let it all get to our heads. it's the start of a journey, of which end we cannot see yet. there are many forks in the road, and we all aim to find the ideal path with the pot of gold like as if at the end of the rainbow. i'm sure we can do it, turning back to get on the right track when we make the wrong turn fast, and with everyone chipping in to lead the way to the end of the road. for most the road doesn't end whether of not we find the pot of gold, as our paths will only just diverge a little, still meeting at certain crossroads. more importantly, we always have to create those crossroads ourselves, have that telepathy to all know we still belong together. lets fight our way to the end for now! for the pot of gold!

this morning was rather productive, waking at 8am just to go Carrefour grocery shopping. i only had about 5 items on the list that i needed to get, thus my sudden enthusiasm in grocery shopping, but in the end it was such a 'filling' experience that i forgot one thing on my list. besides that, i found the source of my impulsive/compulsive shopping behavior - my mom. we bought LOTs of stuff..even though my household only houses 4 people. today's shopping highlight: 3 bags or 5 oranges, at least 20 tomatoes, 5 loaves of bread (walnut loaf, plain sandwich bread, 2 loaves of french baguettes and a loaf of kaya toast white bread, and er, if cake counts, a whole chiffon cake)<<< like who's gonna eat everything? hmm. oh and....10 pieces of CREAM CHEESE. muahahaha. ok, half is probably going to my cousin to bake cheesecake for us, the other half...MINE (: and normally, that amount of cream cheese would have cost us a blue sing note, but at carrefour, it was half  the cost(: yay!

lasagna

chicken pie

cream cheese muffins

butter cake

can't bother to make them

can't wait to eat them(:

i wish i didn't have to hear all that shouting. 

we are in an enclosed metal box,

it brings me to tears to hear it.

and don't drag me into it.

some old pictures....
SPA skill A- mr potato
mr evil potato
some pretty random tree outside Central.
the nice blue sky across the expressway on the way back from geog fieldtrip.

today's pretty sky after training.
some thursday morning sky before i left for school.
full moon after dinner one friday night
supposed to capture the red glow of the sun, but this was a little too late. it's on the left of the nanyang building.
SLASP primary research fieldtrip. a row of trees leading to Japanese Garden road in Jurong.

enjoy.

tired. i bet all my leg muscles are gonna be sore right before i sleep tonight. we had a short PT-running session. technically all my PT sessions are short. and then i'll wonder, with them this short, is it even effective? but they still strain the muscles alright.

yesterday was the return AJ friendly match. we won 6-0 (: like most of my teammates mentioned, yesterday felt as if we all found our own playing positions on the pitch. i myself found the match magical.passes, dribbles, tackles, teamwork. it felt good to play with such a team. as always, nothing's perfect, but yesterday's match felt close enough to it. i think i played better than usual, with more confidence, and taking my chances. i thought it may due to my relatively happy and refreshed state? if so, i should be happy more often.

maybe it was because i was hungry and tired from training, but the $2.70 chicken mushroom bolognese puff from the 7-11 at one of the petrol kiosk was just delicious. hot, salty and flavourful. yum.

cedele disappointed me. Well, i'm here to study, looking forward to good food - muffins specifically, but figured if i was going home to bake it, i'll get something else.

First up: cranberry scone and juice set- $4.80 -ouch. The set didn't even count since the individual prices were $1.80 and $3 respectively. The scone was salty? Too much bicarbonate, but soft. Was expecting and hoping for sweet though, like tea party's. Then the orange juice wasn't even freshly squeezed. I got some processed juice from a carton in a glass half filled with ice. Fine..i just made i bad post-breakfast choice.

Second up: beef &mushroom pie- $4.50. It looked big and nicely baked, and well, i was craving pie. But once my knife attempted entry, i swore i imagined the pie making the poof sound, with air escaping, and it just deflated. Note to self: puff pastry is very cunning. I lifted the top off and found an almost hollow pie. WHERE'S THE MEAT? ho-hum. I ate it anyway. :( - the filling wasn't even that tasty, it didn't have the cream sauce, and i felt the pastry was overbaked from the taste. (how long ago is this pie?even some parts were dried out..)

Overall, i think i paid for the atmosphere, air con, table and seat, and the smells of good food. Perhaps i just tried the food that they don't specialize in? But even the muffins, pie and scone, i think it was overly oily, overpriced, and totally not for value.

But it's lunch now and there's still a long queue in front of the counter...

Disappointment:(

i think i found the reason for my relative happiness today.

dark chocolate.

i was eating dark-chocolate covered biscuits and dark-chocolate coated cornflakes since morning, plus the usual nutella covered sandwich. yum (:

the pastry chef is back again <3

oh mans.. i totally miss my tablet pc. thus proves the phrase 'distance makes the heart grow fonder(of your possesions)' haha. well, it's only awhile more before i fully repossess my tablet again, plus, it was for a good cause. 

i'm supposed to be doing up my script in the library for my presentation tomorrow, but no, as usual i haven't started. andddd...the bell just rang to signify i wasted another half an hour of my time on the internet. haha. and missed at least half of an extra geog lesson i could and should have attended. but my laziness and inner devil of a student succumbed to the temptation of sleeping in an air conditioned library XD

the past week has been pretty shitty, as always. but having not 1, not 2, but 3 almost-breakdowns is unheard of. sleep  deprivation may be one, stress may be another, put them together, and havoc occurs. and the triggers weren't even major. sigh. but i'm relatively happy for now i guess, thanks to some people who do try to cheer me up, unknowingly or not. haha.THANKS AGAIN! 

well then, on to what i've been wanting to talk about the past weekend though there were other things keeping me busy. UNIVERSITY.

was talking to my cousin about it on the way home on sunday, and i guess, my perceptions are once again changing. back to before-pastry-chef-dream, when i wanted to go to NUS or SMU to study business, and be this big CEO or business woman in the industry. double degrees come into the picture, with the picture set in the middle of Bras Basah Road, in the relatively new SMU campus. in a way, it helps open up my opportunities more than in cooking school? and well at times i do imagine what it's like to be doing something that i can't imagine myself doing(ironic, i know), like law, or politics. maybe it's just me undermining my own confidence that i don't think about going into these areas, although they are somewhat interesting. on the otherhand. stories, realities of hectic lifestyles worse than a student's just scares me. i really can't imagine myself not relaxing or having personal time. it'll be like having breakdowns everyother week or something. oh wells, when the time comes, it'll happen. fate, isn't it always? there' s approximately another year to go anyway.

stay happy!

yesterday was a day of two extremes yet had similarities. 

two hockey matches;

back to back;

under a headache-inducing hot sun and a thunderstorm;

played for two completely different teams[NJ/Cresent Hockey];

wearing different jersey colours and socks[red&white/yellow&black];

under different conditions with one being a friendly and another a tournament[friendly with SA/Premier match with SCC];

at two different pitches[Northland/Delta];

in one which i had no substitution and almost died running, and the other i was a sub and played for 5-pretty-calm minutes;

one for three-20minute-thirds, the other second half which was postphoned[last 23mins];

but both ending in a tie: 1-1.

regardless, i  feel extremely guilty and well, fate had something to tell me about my hockey playing. both times in friendlies, each time i played last man, our team conceded a goal. which is definitely a sign for me to just stick to playing centre mid no matter how tired i am and can't run, or no matter how bored vinnie is at the back, i really CANNOT play last man anymore. please, teammates if you're reading this, if i ever do play last man, tell me to MOVE BACK and vinnie to stay back. sighs.

i pray [even though a freethinker] to any god to please let the nj hockey guys have some good results for their matches starting tomorrow, ALL THE BEST! 

it's a good friday.
and i'm bored.
technically i'm meant to be up to my neck drowning in work and what not,but no, i'm blog-surfing and facebook-ing. ugh. screw public holiday moods.teachers' don't even recognize them as public holidays, but more like do-more-homework days. oh wells. i should get started on something soon, since half the day's almost gone. at least the morning was productive with math tuition :/

again, yesterday was just one part of a weird week. it starts off with me breaking a nice glass cooking pot in the morning, and one tired ending. in between came the release of PW results, which showed well, the many hours of typing and late nights and bossing around to get one alphabet on a piece of paper - A. not that i even got to see it, the teacher just read out the grades of the whole class. my whole group got an A, sadly which meant that R got one too. ugh. oh wells. there's nothing much more or less i can ask for anyway. emotions wise, elation was somehow missing, with the somber atmosphere around my class anyway. then training. not one of the best, nor one of the better days. mood's down, morale's down, tiredness just creeps in with the grey clouds across the sky. another bruise joined the collection, but its effects were like a small stone breaking open a dam inside me.

i'm fine now. i guess mitigation (i.e dam construction) sometimes are not always the best way to prevent floods. nature's balance is always restored. even if the dam wall has to collapse.

i'm getting really pissed off by the very entity that i am typing from now. my brother's laptop is just much too slow at processing( just like my brain), thus it takes like at least 3 minutes just for a microsoft word document to open. plus my favourite travel pac mouse with the flower pattern's gone wonky ): it was so nice to use before, and now i've got to use the irritating tracker pad which is totally big enough for the screen. i miss my own tablet now..

my days don't seem to start out right these days. i just lost five dollars this morning. hopefully a bad event on my part will prove good to others on a positive end during these recessionary times. spatial challenge report's done with. phew. and then comes the presentation next week. ugh. another OP to prepare for. and then there's pre-U sem. it's not been taxing, but i just worry about the outcome. looking forward to the 5 days of networking, but that has to take the backseat for now. 

meeting up with old friends. they leave such warm nice feelings in the aftermath. today's lunch was with a friend i haven't kept in contact with for 8 years, and i really enjoyed talking to her. we have so much in common, yet the different perspectives are what makes us different. i'm partly glad for her, and partly envious of her. but i do want to help her out as much as i can while she's here, and not make the same mistake of losing a friend when i was younger.

alright, it was nothing big, i got my hair trimmed last last weekend, as i was just feeling a little down about myself, and it was sort of a pick-me-up for myself i guess. besides, it was getting a little troublesome being so long. not many commented about me cutting my hair since nothing much changed with me still having long hair, and perhaps a (really irritating) fringe. but what they did comment on was 'did you dye your hair (black)?' which is pretty ironic, since i didn't. well, according to most, they were just so used to seeing me with my (dyed) brown/orange/yellow(to some) hair. 

on the other hand, i think the haircut did pick both me and my hockey skills up(: nationals are coming up. as stated in my previous post, i've only been thinking about hockey and my team for like 18 hours a day. or maybe more, if i start dreaming about it. it's not healthy for me at all. breakouts are evidence of the stress thats going into my head, and i probably don't even know whats going on with my studies anymore. its like 'how can i get the juniors to be more aggressive / can they improve in time and be ready to play for nats?/ is the coach really helping or hindering their progess?/ what if one of us gets injured or sick during season/ what if we don't win our matches?....' so many what ifs. being captain isn't easy. and i thought it was last year. a lot has changed, but i really can't let that affect me. i can't let it affect my team. but it's wearing  me down.

won't you help me soon?

i can't believe i'm losing sleep over nationals. There's only 2 things on my mind that's constantly making my stomach churn and my head distracted. And the other is definitely not school work(this is what i'm getting distracted from...) what i figured was that only hockey was able to push the other matter out of my head, which is a good thing i'm guessing. But when i'm not playing hockey....omg, it's time consuming!

Can anything calm me?

3 days. 2 bruises up and down. ouchh.

but no harm done right?