i'm getting really pissed off by the very entity that i am typing from now. my brother's laptop is just much too slow at processing( just like my brain), thus it takes like at least 3 minutes just for a microsoft word document to open. plus my favourite travel pac mouse with the flower pattern's gone wonky ): it was so nice to use before, and now i've got to use the irritating tracker pad which is totally big enough for the screen. i miss my own tablet now..

my days don't seem to start out right these days. i just lost five dollars this morning. hopefully a bad event on my part will prove good to others on a positive end during these recessionary times. spatial challenge report's done with. phew. and then comes the presentation next week. ugh. another OP to prepare for. and then there's pre-U sem. it's not been taxing, but i just worry about the outcome. looking forward to the 5 days of networking, but that has to take the backseat for now. 

meeting up with old friends. they leave such warm nice feelings in the aftermath. today's lunch was with a friend i haven't kept in contact with for 8 years, and i really enjoyed talking to her. we have so much in common, yet the different perspectives are what makes us different. i'm partly glad for her, and partly envious of her. but i do want to help her out as much as i can while she's here, and not make the same mistake of losing a friend when i was younger.

alright, it was nothing big, i got my hair trimmed last last weekend, as i was just feeling a little down about myself, and it was sort of a pick-me-up for myself i guess. besides, it was getting a little troublesome being so long. not many commented about me cutting my hair since nothing much changed with me still having long hair, and perhaps a (really irritating) fringe. but what they did comment on was 'did you dye your hair (black)?' which is pretty ironic, since i didn't. well, according to most, they were just so used to seeing me with my (dyed) brown/orange/yellow(to some) hair. 

on the other hand, i think the haircut did pick both me and my hockey skills up(: nationals are coming up. as stated in my previous post, i've only been thinking about hockey and my team for like 18 hours a day. or maybe more, if i start dreaming about it. it's not healthy for me at all. breakouts are evidence of the stress thats going into my head, and i probably don't even know whats going on with my studies anymore. its like 'how can i get the juniors to be more aggressive / can they improve in time and be ready to play for nats?/ is the coach really helping or hindering their progess?/ what if one of us gets injured or sick during season/ what if we don't win our matches?....' so many what ifs. being captain isn't easy. and i thought it was last year. a lot has changed, but i really can't let that affect me. i can't let it affect my team. but it's wearing  me down.

won't you help me soon?