i need to channel my emotions to a more positive direction.
although similarly as unproductive as before, i believe it's nurturing back the creative side of me.
except...that it's making me want to get down and dirty back in the kitchen!

whole wheat penne and vodka tomata sauce - aprondays.blogspot.com

or this:

raspberry chocolate tart - caren blair

i'm thinking about having "Friday nights with Pam" - in the kitchen of course (:

it'll be a time i can enjoy myself in the kitchen cooking for people i love and enjoy company with. or let's just start with my family. a special time.

and then i'll start inviting people over.

work.
The syndrome has hit me again, the one where I get bored of things really fast and want to move on to the next thing. It's been exactly a month, if i count the first day as training. I've settled down, taken on more roles, have tried new methods, but still am rushing against the clock everyday. Overtime is a lesser occurance to me now, that means I go home earlier, and lesser pay. Still, I feel obliged to work at the bakery even though well, I'm just going nowhere, it's been preventing slowing me down from doing many things I've planned to do a long time ago, and the pay is always on the edge of my mind. It's human nature to keep comparing with others, but the passion for baking has been subdued since a few days ago. I guess we'll have to wait and see if it really gets to the point where my mind is constantly on quitting thoughts, meaning that I really don't like my job anymore. My body's probably taking a beating from all the lack of sleep (almost the same as those long-lost school days), hockey and little rest time there is in between my schedule, but i'm still wishing I had more time for LIFE.

hello! it's been a while now.
and GRADUATION NIGHT is over!!
oh yes, i've been busy busy, baking, shopping, slacking. fretting.
A little more than a week has passed since the last post, and since then, some things have changed. like, how i'm OFFICIALLY FREE FROM A LEVELS, SATs are done!, and so is grad night, and bakesale is underway!

Warning: Exteremely long, draggy post ahead. Do not read when short on time, only when you are terribly free and bored with your own life and is interested in mine, read at your own risk.

it took me this long to type this post due to me being lazy to type out an ultra long post complete with pictures, plus my typing speed has been reduced dramatically from typing inactivity. Now, to facilitate my memory bank, we shall go in chronological order, starting from

30st Nov, Monday.
With only one paper to go, the hockey girls went down to CCAB early in the morning to join the juniors' training (we were still late anyway...) george was around, so we hit around by ourselves on half the pitch, did passes, the juniors did their own drills with george. played a mini 3v3 game with the juniors, on like 1/8th the pitch? sighs. what terrible waste of pitch. SAJC had booked the pitch after us, so george couldn't drag, hence we girls went for lunch at adam food centre after.
After much delaying, I followed vinnie to school to mug for bio MCQ in the canteen while she had consult with a teacher. I did only one paper in that uh, 4-5 hours I was sitting there? Mostly attempting to sleep. Didn't even touch the hugeass SATs book i borrowed from matt's friend and dragged around (for a few days too, thinking i would open it.) Went home before the sidegate closed, feeling so underproductive. But it's just Bio MCQ right?

1st Dec, Tuesday

I decided to go down for training in school again this time, as an excuse to stay in school to mug and make up for the previous day. Since George wasn't going to be around, it was another incentive. Derek and Felix came along too, and after that hot hot training under the sun(which i got a mild sunburn from -_-), we had Cai Fan for lunch! yum. Talked in the canteen while it rained, so the guys couldn't go home, and when it did stop, I went up to the library to join the library gang to mug. It was a revelation that day - SH1s have compulsory study sessions in the library ( i believe they're basketballers). But other than library gang (H3 econs people), bio people (me and gwen), and basketballers, there weren't anyone else again. Bottomline, unproductive again. did another paper, slept, and went home early.

Met the Crescent Hookers for dinner at Spageddies (O. Central )! Had a nice dinner, nice chat with everyone at Starbucks, before I had to leave cause my parents insisted on picking me up (and then reprimanding me for going out before exams are over -_-

@ Spagheddies!

2nd Dec, Wednesday- one day to Bio MCQ paper

Ariel's sendoff! Went to the airport to say farewell to ariel who's going back to Vietnam. GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH FASHION ADVISOR! Yes, dear ariel's my personal fashion advisor and the coolest fashionista I know! I arrived late (seems to be a habit of mine now), joined the class girls at Popeye's, before helping ariel check in. There were a few problems, but all ironed out before she went in the gate. See you again next year celebrity!

 

gonna miss you ARIEL!<3

so after she left, we, the class girls, headed to T3 to sightsee a little, while I sat at coffeebean waiting for them as i tried to do Bio. Yes, i know, what a killjoy I am. Went home soon after because I couldn't keep awake. So much for Bio Preparation.

3rd Dec, Thursday - Bio Paper 3 day, day of end of A levels!

The end of A levels was nothing memorable, besides sitting at a table in the hall for an hour and 15 mins. Perhaps because we started going out and relaxing the week before, that when the paper ended, there didn't seem to be this overwhelming sense of relief that I expected to wash over me. So I went out with Vinnie only - to watch New Moon. I wouldn't say I regret watching it, because the purpose of watching a bad movie was to 1) accompany vinnie, 2) so that I don't have to read the book to find out what the hype is about. Why I found the movie bad? 1) the actor (specifically whats-his-name-who-acted-as-cedric-diggory-in-harry-potter) did not make a hot-drop-dead-gorgeous-i-must-fall-in-love-with-you vampire. 2) the plot was seriously unrealistic.I don't get the fall-in-love-to the point of madness of the female lead. 3) uh, actors were too stiff in acting, little variation in emotions and expressions. If I were to rate the movie, I'd give it ONE star- for the beautiful scenery.

I literally dragged vinnie around orchard after that, which i feel terribly guilty for, since she looked pretty tired. I was looking for shoes to match my prom dress, so we moved from Cineleisure (where we caught the movie), to Heeren, to Wisma. That took about 3 hours? It's because of my indecisiveness and terrible feet structure that I took so long (plus there were many shoe outlets with pretty but EXPENSIVE shoes), so I let her off at the MRT, while I went around Ion, then as a last resort, to Fareast Plaza. That's where I found my shoes, after 4 hours of searching. Plain, black pumps, not too uncomfortable, and flexible to wear with almost any outfit. Took a bus to Robinsons, bought my makeup, then headed home, exhausted.

shoes XD

4th Dec, Friday

Even though i was exhausted the day before, I didn't sleep till..5am. Not from insomnia, but K drama. Suen got me hooked onto the Korean drama "You're Beautiful", about a girl cross dressing as her brother in an all-male idol group. It's pretty good, and addictive. I've finished the series since then, and uh, it caused me to get distracted from stuff such as working on my prom dress and baking teresa's cupcakes.

Teresa and Anne came over for lunch, specifically Pre-Prom-Preparation. Basically trying on our dress, make-up, hair and shoes for prom. I was more busy cooking, washing the dishes and trying to hem my dress (a time-efficient alternative to making a brand new dress), think Cinderella and her two step sisters preparing for the ball. There's pictures with teresa to prove the scene. haha. Went well enough, completed teresa's cupcake order before she had to rush home. Anne stayed a little longer, and we continued watching "you're beautiful". HAHA.

teresa's order of vanilla cupcakes.

you're beautiful <3

i love Shin Woo and Jeremy <3 (2 guys on extreme left)

5th Dec, Sat. - SATs.

If you have not realized, I've only mentioned SATs once before in this post. And on this day, I took my first SAT I paper, which I only studied the night before. Haha.  I wonder how the results will turn out to be. Woke up early and headed to Starhub Centre to take it, while I knew others were heading to other centres such as St Francis for their own SATs. Coincidentally, Teoh Guan ( 2008 Lignum OGL), was taking the test in the same room as me too! haha.

Went Spotlight at PS after to buy more prom stuff, technically, only ribbons for my heels. but that took me an hour anyway -_-. Did a little grocery shopping before my brother picked me up, then headed home, and spent the rest of the afternoon to finish the K drama mentioned above.

6th Dec. Sun.
Baking Day! For gowri's order of Chocolate Cupcakes with Orange Frosting (which she totally forgot to pick up, haha!), and experimented with some muffins that just failed. Played with my newly bought gum paste to make christmas decorations for my bakesale too! That's about it really. oh, and then had to go for a relative's wedding (i believe the groom's my grandmother's brother's son, which makes him my uncle.) at Holiday Inn Atrium, a five minute walk away from my house. Walked home in my heels. haha.

gowri's cupcake order.

christmas deco!

my family, and my brother's girlfriend, minus my 2nd brother.

7th Dec,Monday - one week later, Grad night!

Morning was a URA talk I signed up for with Trudy, about the URA scholarship and tea session. Delivered cupcakes to gowri before I headed to URA centre early and met up with trudy, matt and edwin. A few more other njcians were there too, like kok wah, kung yin and shirley. Met Jia xi, a henry park gymmer who went to HCI at the talk too! It was pretty interesting, but I my mind was drifting away when it got to touring the exhibits of different places in singapore. It ended an hour later than specified, but the food was good though. Chocolate eclairs and cheesecake <3.

Rushed home right two minutes before anne came over - for Prom prep! slacked around a little, made my clutch, before I cooked lunch again, and teresa arrived. It took us about an hour and a half to prepare, before leaving to go early to the hotel room which jilly booked by cab. Grr...cab fares are seriously expensive nowadays, 13 bucks to get to raffles city from my house, which is only about 10mins away. But include heavy traffic and ERP surcharge..wallet busters the meters are. Due to the rush, me and teresa forgot jewelry, but didn't bother to go back and get them, so we went earring-less. I have to apologise to teresa for not being able to do her hair as she wanted it to, as a bun, but due to my inexperience, it fell out before prom even started ): sorry!

purse: made from "Fruity Pebbles"

Grad night..was much better than I anticipated. I had fun, watching the performances, going around taking pictures, creating memories that will hopefully, last me forever. The food wasn't too bad, but the mango sago was totally disappointing (being a dessert critic here). The MC was great, and that's what makes a great show. I even got to do the Limbo as one of the table games! Super Seniors (parody of the K band Super Juniors Sorry Sorry MV), OST (Oh Xuemin, Sheena, Trudy's band), 06IP dancers were a few of the performances that I really enjoyed. Of course, there was the Best Dressed,  and Prom King/Queen, which i felt was totally bogus, since I felt that it was more like a 'sabo' game by friends, and didn't truly reflect the titles. But it did feel good when our efforts didn't go to waste, when NORMAN LEE won MR CONGENIALITY XD "What would you want to change the most?" Reply: "My voice." haha! totally out of context.

Anne! sleepover buddy.

teresa: the camwhore who sleptover.

Mr Congeniality!

06IP01 - graduated!

Post-prom was supposedly at Helipad, on the roof of Central, but I trooped alone to Supperclub to pay a visit to Nanthini, Christie and Jo(SA hockers, who had prom on the same night) with the intention of joining my schoolmates at Helipad later. BUT, just before I left the place, Noo and Chench called me and said that they were coming over in a cab. UH? With Mohammad and Reuben too. So, apparently Helipad was boring enough they decided to join me. Mohammad had contacts that got us in (don't ask how) with the soccer guys, without having to buy the SA post-prom tickets. haha. It was pretty mild at the start when we got in, Loud Music, Not Too Crowded...and then the Dancing Started. Noo wanted to dance so much she dragged us in, and I think I lasted five minutes(pathetic ain't it), before I went out to sit. Mostly beacuse having the Smoke machine right behind me, I couldn't breathe. So my first time at a club, was spent mostly sitting around, waiting for others, observing the scene. The dancefloor got really intense as the crowd grew, and I started seeing a lot more NJ people who migrated over from Helipad. So. It was that boring eh? SA post-prom? became half NJ-post prom. I even got a few pictures taken in the SA post-prom album on facebook. haha. I left after two hours, alone, again (2am), and walked back to the room as technically, I wasn't much into the clubbing scene. No point staying. I saw girls getting so drunk they can't walk, girls vomitting, girls getting rubbed up against guys, and I got worried for a particular friend too. Conclusion is, I don't think i'll be stepping in to a club for recreational purposes anytime soon, it's just not my atmosphere to be in.

Supperclub atmosphere.dancefloor.

8-10th Dec, Tues- Today - Post-prom syndrome.
Teresa and Anne slept over at my house after prom, we reached home about 3am? and just went to sleep after a bath. it's pretty exhausting after a whole night out socialising. Morning came, and teresa woke me up to announce she was going home. Reason: for lunch. haha. anne stayed longer, so I baked her brownies as a farewell present, since I couldn't see her off at the airport the next day (yesterday = 9th). Used the time to experiment with peppermint, in brownies, but I still don't think the flavour's strong enough yet.

Yesterday I had a STB scholarship interview, hence couldn't see anne off. I think it went rather badly, with my brain not functioning well. I was stammering and blundering my way through, that the interviewer even commented "I can see you're smoking your way through this one, and the last one too. haha." ugh. I'm really bad at interviews. Really. I can't seem to think on my feet(or chair), make appropriate, coherent responses that answer the question.Hence the blundering. GRR again. Went home feeling deflated, so I slept, then baked the afternoon away, making teresa's sister's order of the same cupcakes, gingerbread men dough, and cookies. Seems like my mood affects my baking too :/ today was not much different, but lesser. SLACKED. that about describes my day. Facebooked (I seem to be on it 20 hours a day now), and well, typed out this post which took a few hours -_-

So much for making my Post-A-Levels plans, most of which I was itching to start on, but haven't. Why do they always not go according to plan?
I should sign up for driving test. Soon.

oh yes, i wanted to mention two dreams i had, but i really shouldn't elongate this post further. It was about visiting the gym at hpps on a sat morning for training, and buying sugar for my baking.haha.

The future awaits.

I was so tired both mentally and physically just an hour ago, but now, i'm feeling pretty awake.
I wonder why, all I've done in the past hour was basically sign in to MSN, and talk to various people (for once in like, two months probably?)
But I guess it's good to catch up with people now and then, which i really hope to re-establish some of my distant friendships made over the past years. It's so interesting to see how people change, and how people's views about you change.

Today was one exciting day, although there is a little apprehension that I'm behaving as if exams are just over like in my secondary/IP school days. So, after I handed in that once-again-incomplete-script and was released from the gym, I went up to the canteen to uh, finish my breakfast cum lunch. Ended up hanging around with Chenchel and Nush for awhile, before I decided then that I really didn't want to start studying Biology Applications syllabus yet, hence with Chenchel made the decision to crash our beloved Xiang Yin's house.

We stayed for about 2 hours, using the time to spontaneously bake Chocolate Molten cake, recipe gotten from joyofbaking.com through XY's iphone. It came out rather yummy despite the a little overcooked-ness, as well as the wide range of chocolate we used inside. There was Belgium Dark and Milk Chocolate, Toll's baking chocolate bars, and uh, some other milk chocolate XY ate before. Haha. But still...addictive (:

We left to watch a movie at orchard after that, meeting with the weirdest combination of people you can find in NJ going to watch a movie together. REALLY. There were like, 4 different groups of people together, let's see if you can seperate them. (some do overlap.) Samantha Mok, Avril, Xiang Yin, ChenChel, Norman, Li Qiang, Ting Zhi and I. It was my first trip inside Ion Orchard today(while waiting for physics people to be done), and the place just seems huge with me only visiting the four basements! The number and variety of shops available is just outstanding. Some, you don't even know existed, branded goods shops, Sephora.....I just feel like going another time when it's not so crowded.

The movie: The Ugly truth. Which I think the newspapers are ugly for only giving it a one-star rating. It's worth at least 3 stars! There was tons of laughing, sadness and happy endings. Leads are hot and cute, although there was quite a bit of swearing. Jokes are mostly sexual inundations, and Gerard Butler is just growing on me now...I felt that the movie was really good and worth watching, for the points of view of men and women relationships. I think I'm still suffering from the dreamy feelings I get after watching movies. Oh, and if it's a plus, i think there was a rumour that one of us cried during the movie (the breakup was pretty saddening..) Did i mention that we had front-row seats as well?

In the end, all's well ends well, but reached home without dinner ):

Today's an amusing day. And i've only been awake for an hour. First, i've got a lesbian couple standing next to me on the first bus. I don't know if it's obvious. But being from a girl's school before allows you to spot a few details. The 'Guy' looked like a well-dressed young man, except that the facial features were nicely sculpted with big expressive eyes, but wasn't what you would call feminine. From the short waxed hair, shirt, pants, big watch and cologne, that's how i would imagine jo would be like in a few years time. The partner would always be the one looking like...well a normal lady. The details that gave it away: fourth finger matching rings on the right hand, the little gestures a conservative couple would allow in public. The way she would look into her eyes when they talk. As if she's the only one in the world. I'm a little envious there, which i think anyone non-homophobic would feel as it's kinda sweet. Alright, i got a little carried away on that. But just another detail. The earstud was on the left ear. The right had a ring through the upper lobe.

Secondly, not much exciting, but the bus i was on managed to overtake my second bus right before the busstop i had to alight at, which is pretty convenient once i alighted. And my buses didn't make me wait more than 5 mins today, which is a good sign.

Thirdly, i managed to cook pasta in the morning and not be late. As compared to last week where i made bread alone and was late.

Fourthly, FD has an earstud/stick on his left.

Fifth, bukit timah is once again jammed in the morning. Oh how i miss those jam-free days.

Lastly, it's the first time i've reached school without taking a bite out of my breakfast:)

There's nothing much to do but observe the wonderful mornings.

-7.38am

Bio lesson- My theory is that stupidity is passed on as a trait. Environmental changes has allowed less intelligent beings to survive (due to technology simplifying once-complicated processes) and thus is not selected against through evolution.

-2pm

I'm suprised at myself for not falling asleep in any classes or during my studying period today. Which is an achievement when i slept for less than 4 hours last night.

-4.20pm

My unwillingness to spend money on food in school has caused me to spend even more outside. I left school intending to buy ONE slice of cake for myself near my house, but due to a series of different events from planned, i ended up at Sun Moulin, spending abt 8 bucks on bread and cakes. That's what a hungry stomach does to me. Ah, but what nice bread they were. And now i'm a pork-floss bun convert as compared to before, i didn't touch pork floss buns at all. The mini mango chiffon was nothing much though. Tasted like normal steamed egg buns.

Last night i just caved into satisfying a chocolate craving which prompted me to make the decadent chocolate molten cake. It may have seemed unfortunate that i accidentally overbaked it and it became chocolate cake, but it was what i call a heavenly treat in disguise. I spooned a scoop of chocolate ganache over, then warmed it in the microwave. Hello warm chocolate cake heaven!

Let's hope the strawberry shortcake doesn't disappoint me now:)

-7.13pm

it truly was a thoughtful day. and i didn't even bother to mention that i got back my first U grade for common test papers. i was too busy observing other things. well, the strawberry shortcake did disappoint me a little, with grainy sponge and not very sweet cream, despite the big juicy strawberries. we'll see what tomorrow brings.

the holidays are officially over with youth day past.

youth day was pretty relaxing, watching transformers, then dropping off books at kris's house (and on the way there having a lot of coincidences on the bus with a classmate and former senior), then going home meeting the peak hour traffic. i came to then continue the ongoing manga i started on, with is simultaneously hilarious, sweet, romantic, inspiring, dreamy and a little saddening. which most manga i suppose are to simulate.

the start of official school lessons again was literally a blur. since i slept through (with disturbances from the teacher) econs, then math lecture was more like a homeroom talk by the VP and half a verbal math lecture (which i spent reading my book). Lunch period came, the queue was too long, so we decided to head down for PE first, which was the right decision (according to mr sham we were shift half a period earlier). no pe for that day, so we went back up and ate lunch and i slept.again.at the canteen tables. gc was a 5 min online survey, and then i was done with school. wow. an hour to kill before the side gate opens.

i hesistated, then finally decided to run. and as i changed into my PE shirt, the sky opened up and rain fell down. so perhaps a little muscle work out of the rain, before i left for bugis..finally the non-dreaded part of my day.

i probably looked like a ghost with all my hair covering my face on the bus as i fell asleep with my head tilting forward, but one can't help oneself when one is sleeping. apparently i took the wrong bus as it didn't stop at the stop i wanted to stop at (but i still thought it's the right bus as it's by passing the possible jam at barker road). took a little walk down, which wasn't so far after all, and got my new bag (: felt happy, so i went on to buy Beard Papa's Eclair puff. a little too much innard cream, mood dipped a little, so i went into the library to go book hunting. read a bit before setting off to hunt for a cafe kris told me about before.

while cafe- hunting, i found a baking supplies store i've wanted to visit for awhile now (i've got my varlhona chocolate pearls = happy happy girl), found a new street of cafes that consisted of ms clarity cafe and minds cafe, and gunther's, a pretty high class restaurant. in the end, i still didn't find food for thought and went home. perhaps next time i'll find it.

and when i saw it, my heart either did a freefall or jumped rather suddenly. that's not supposed to happen.

and then i finished the remaining 3 chapters of the manga i was hooked onto in no time. so back to the library book i went. so. i've got two books i've read halfway before i started blogging, and uh, such unfamiliar things called homework waiting.

lets hope i get my momentum back, or carve out a new path soon.