yesterday was a fun but tiring day. no wonder i konked out right after my late dinner on the sofa without even taking my contacts off at 10pm.( i eventually did at 3.30am, when i woke up due to the unbearable heat of the night. ironic eh?)

my morning started early at 6, having to attend SRC School's annual 4-a-side hockey carnival at padang. Alicia and Yeeni  were late, and both cabbed down. haha. alicia only woke up when we called her house phone..

>*ring ring*

>"Hello?"

>"Hello, may i speak to alicia please?"

> *somewhere in the house* "JIE JIE!"

30 sec later....

>"Hello..."

>"alicia?"

> "OMG I OVERSLEPT!"

>"uh huh..."

>*hang up*

haha. it was rather funny. the carnival itself went rather well despite the unrelenting sun, and the short period of rain (which the carnival did continue under). I slipped and fell on my first match, earning me another graze on my left hip and left elbow. did i mention i hated playing hockey on a grass field? I HATE  PLAYING HOCKEY ON A GRASS FIELD. but it wasn't so bad, since i didn't fall anymore for the rest of the matches..by running carefully. haha. we thought we'll get through to the second round, but all wins except for 2 losses against RJ and NYP booted us out. it was quite close, but we felt a little relieved at being able to go home early? haha. juniors er, lost all except one of their matches, against MI. well, at least they're learning and it's a fun experience (: junior guys....didn't bother to watch. haha. 

vinnie and i then went into the SRC premises to shower before joining the rest at The Food Place in Raffles City. Just another food court, with prices starting from $4. even sugarcane juice was $2.10 when I can get it at Redhill food centre at $1! oh wells. 

I left early to go shopping with my mom, technically, just to buy a white blouse that i need to wear under the bloody red blazer during pre-u sem. plain white collared shirt..should be rather easy to find right?? WRONG. Robinsons, Marks and Spencer, G2000...all either had ruffles, are short sleeved, had colours, or didn't have my size. My mom then suggested Liz Claiborne, which didn't sound very high-classy like the rest of the shops existing in raffles city, so we just went. wrong again. one shirt/pants/dress there is NORMALLY at least $100. like er.... but my mom started shopping..for herself. haha. ok fine, half the store was on sale. but still. in the end we bought 3 items, one of which was a white shirt for me, with uh, pockets on the front and the nj-uniform thingy on the shoulder, but i thought it was rather nice and can be worn outside too. $20 discount from the original price still wasn't very cheap. heh. in the end, we still had to go over to ngee ann city's G2000 branch to get that white shirt (they called to check that they had my size first), and guess what...they DIDN'T. but luckily i could fit into the size 40, so we bought it anyway, at less than half the SALE price of my first shirt. oh wells.

but in total, shopping at Liz Claiborne, Watsons, Marks and Spencer, G2000 and KFC, i think my mom spent over $400. i feel a little guilty at that. which brings me to my next point...

WHAT RECESSION? 

there was a QUEUE to get into LOUIS VUITTON boutique. like wow. but it didn't stop there. same went for Kate Spade, Chanel, Hugo Boss...which would require you to part with at least a FEW hundred bucks even WITH the great singapore sale. perhaps it's just from the viewpoint of a money-conscious teenager, who isn't employed nor earning any income, thus the big reaction over such a scene. but a crowded orchard road on a saturday evening...shows good signs of the improving economy. i guess.

today..well i woke up early enough, to go grocery shopping with my mom (so much shopping...so little time..) at my favourite shop..Sheng Siong! ok, maybe not my favourite since it doesn't stock some of the ingredients i like to use, but close enough with having cheaper goods. anyway, shopping with the purpose of stocking up snacks for pre-u sem next week.hehe. and i came home...and decided to go local today. been having a craving for this for awhile now. ENJOY!

ondeh ondeh/oneh oneh (whichever spelling it is)

well, i can't wait to get started on Pre-U sem, with the next five days of supposed fun, and having a single room to myself (: see you next week people!

this is what happens when i hear there's no more bio lecture tomorrowtoday (although there is still the 3-hour GP lecture), and my brother who just came back from hawaii (yay! presents!) 

yum...apple crisp!

the whole apple crisp!

lasagna!

panna cotta!

it's the last day of school anyway. share the joy of the last TGIF of the term (:

finally went for my long-awaited run yesterday, although the tropical storm kinda hindered my plans a little. i think i was over ambitious with expecting to jog 10 rounds, but i went close enough. 2 inner-lane rounds for warm up (which i think started too fast, and reminded me of my arthritis on rainy days). stretching for 15 mins and to slow back down my heart beat (it was only 2 rounds!!). then....6-outer lane rounds although i wanted to do 8, but it started drizzling on my 5th. in the end, the drizzling turned out to be nothing, so i did more stretching, and my splits. seems like over-stretching didn't help prevent muscle aches, because my legs have been aching since i got home from school yesterday. ouch.

i feel like i'm always missing out on something.

++++

i really ought to be self disciplined.time is running out. i am aware of that, my mind has contantly imagined myself working hard and studying hard to score well in the exams, but i think i've been thinking so hard about it, that my mind is tired out and can't carry out the task in reality. i know i want to, but just when will it start?

as i stared out the window today, i observed two groups of people crossing the pedestrian crossing ahead of me. one, a middle-aged domestic helper pushing a wheelchair-bound elderly (probably her employer's parent), and from the other direction, a caucasian woman pushing a pram with a toddler in it. as many probably would have thought of before, that growing old is almost the same as growing younger. it conjured up a video i just watched a few months back - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. benjamin was born old, and grew up younger each day. while his physical body was growing younger, his mind however developed like a normal infant's. being curious, inquisitive, learning new things everyday, then getting dementia as he grew back into a child. the point is, there are so many similarities between the young and the old. like how you would need someone to take care of infants and elderly, whether you take care of them yourself, or whether you hire someone else to do that job. and then there's always the option of abandonment, once the mature adult is unable to care for more than themselves, the rest is regarded as a burden. and then there's not having the ability to walk, thus needing the wheelchair to allow both to be easily moved around. babies start without teeth, the old lose their teeth to and go back to the days when they haven't had them yet. the ability to think, and speak. one haven't learnt or would not have the capability to learn any speech yet, while the other loses the capability to think or form words as the mind shrinks. most babies are born without much hair, and the old rarely part the world with a full, think mane of hair. the list may be never ending, but if you think about it, perhaps nature behaves this way, allowing us to leave the earth in a similar  form that we entered it, thus we age and change accordingly. but due to irreversibly processes that occur in between, adulthood is also a force of nature, we develop into whatever we are for the objective of allowing the population to continue. but that shall be another topic for another day. perhaps it's another theory where we grow to be simlar to our starting life, so that when we pass on, there is the possibility of reincarnation. perhaps that's where the idea came from. growing old shortens the process in which we turn back into babies.

enough rambling.

BabyCakes, the Book of Recipes: It's Here! from BabyCakes NYC on Vimeo.

I SERIOUSLY NEED TO SLAP MYSELF RIGHT NOW. no matter how much pleasure i received from commiting that act.

my sin - reading.

my trip to the library was a duel purpose of returning library books due, as well as doing my econs essay due for my consultation tomorrow today, and hopefully do some human geography studying. but no, once i dropped the books in the bookdrop, couldn't find a table to sit at, i plonked my bag down on a bench and headed straight for a bookshelf that's always my first destination. MAC. Judith McNaught. Her books are the first i always sought out, as they are irritatingly hard to borrow. luck was with me on my lucky (or unlucky) day, where i found not one, but TWO of her books on the shelf. one i've read before (but wouldn't mind reading it again if i had no sense of time nor conscience towards my studies), and so i took the other back to my seat to relax a little. that was 3pm. when my dad called if i was coming home, it was 6.30pm, and i was still at the same place, same position, about halfway through the book. well, when i'm in the trance of being captured in books, nothing else tend to matter except for a rumbling stomach and fear of nagging from my parents for coming home late. and so i left the air-conditioned place reluctantly at 7.15pm,  of course not without borrowing the book. and thus look at the time of this post. i just finished reading the book, without getting anything done for the week ahead, or let alone tomorrow's  events occuring later today.

I seriously could write a review for JM's books that go along the line of 

'a fabulously delicious read which will make you laugh out loud wherever you are, and keep you smiling to yourself for days on end...'

 yes. i was laughing to myself in the library. using my jacket to cover those maniac-looking smile on my face that refuses to be wiped off, and preserving any pride, dignity, or even semblance or being a normal, sane person.

the prospect of going to university is hounding me again. torn between business degrees and pastry and baking degrees, local universities vs going overseas, work or study first, business degree before pastry, or pastry then business degree? seriously. it's time consuming.and heart wrenching to choose.

+++++

had a dental check up today as well. my first in about 4 years. as it turned out, hockey balls inflict more damage than i thought (that, or i think too highly of my body's robustness). my front tooth is still a little shaky, but it's not as bad as a week ago, and well, the tooth next to it which i thought escaped unscathed, actually has a fracture. zzzz.i really hope that tooth doesnt break, and that the root of my front tooth will recover fully. i really don't want to go for a root canal surgery anytime in the future.

One consequence of having season over is the eating. Restrictions are lifted, and the binging starts. It's not on purpose, but the past week has just left me feeling...soaked in oil. Especially after tonight's dinner, with my parents and grandparents at Lao Beijing, again. I overate, not on purpose, but as usual my family tends to order too much food ( i believe i ranted on this before being one of the major flaws of my family), and me being the waste-not and save-the-earth person, finished up remaining food there was. and 3 hours later, my stomach's still groaning about taking on the extra load. I need to remind myself to go back to hockey-season-eating diet. all the more when i'm not exercising at all.

Last Saturday - Dinner at Lao Beijing[Novena] (reason: grandpa's birthday, but this restaurant soaks it's food in oil.literally.)

Last Sunday - home cooked dinner. oily veggies, fried bacon.

Monday - Long John's Silver for lunch (Angels & Demons movie)

Tuesday - Burger King for dinner (Expressions concert)

Wednesday - Pizza, vanilla coke, Ruffles' chips, LOTS of chocolate cake from Secret Recipe ( drama seniors' farewell) thank god i went swimming after, the only form of exercise i've had all week.

Thursday - canteen's jap food stall: grilled [more like deep-fried] teriyaki chicken bowl. Nuggets at Delta (A div finals) , Fried rice and grilled chicken for dinner.

Friday - Dinner at Buddy Hoagies (Hockey Angel-Mortal revelation day): bologniese pasta, more chocolate cake.

Today - Dinner at Lao Beijing again [Tiong bahru plaza], (i think because my mom had vouchers)

not only have i reminded myself of guilty-VERY-UNHEALTHY eating habits (i still haven't included the choc chip cookies i baked on thursday night), but how big the hole in my bank account is as well. Perhaps this is what have been causing my breakouts :/

Also, holidays feel as if they've started a week ago. There's lesser people in school, lesser lessons, and no assembly. Although there's the naggy uneasy feeling of unfairness when i have to go to school everyday for a lesson or two when everyone else has a full day or two at least to themselves. I guess it's just my fate that i've got good, hard-working teachers who are willing to teach me although they could use these two weeks as an extra break too. plus my combi of taking content-heavy subjects, as Trudi canavan goes in the Age of the Five: Book Two- Last of the Wilds ~ Destiny demands sacrifice. 

I've been having the nagging feeling to blog about something, anything, everything, everytime i'm away from the computer. I guess those are the times when i think. about life, humans, the world, the future. Nationals, friends, food, fantasies. but I guess they are only to remain as thoughts in my head, since i've probably long-forgotten about the topic once blogger starts up to create-a-new-entry page.

i have been having guilty thoughts. it brings no harm but to myself. but i worry for its consequences with each course of action taken. but i do know, it may change my world.or not.hopefully not.hopefully it won't even happen.

Expression tonight was enjoyable enough. chinese orchestra, gu zheng, strings, piano ensemble, and finally, still loved the symphonic band the most. it's like only symphonic band manages to produce the feeling where you're transported into another dimension, a fantasy world. and the music sets the scene, be it gradually leading up to the climax of a war, or prancing around in a flower-field filled with happy memories.  captivating it was.

but i think the most exhaustive but productive part was after the concert. half an hour's worth of camwhoring. yes. this was one of the very few times i actively participated in popping up in front of the camera lens so often with different people. hockey, classmates, new friends, aquaintances all in. i've sadly only got one photo with me, so i shall wait for norman, matt, ting yun and nush to post up theirs(:

oh right, and angels and demons watched with hockey people yesterday! woohoo! too bad we didn't take much/any photos, but it was the biggest movie gathering so far i think. had lots of laughs at long john's silver, on the bus, and well, a little after the movie? the movie itself has good effects, but according to travis chen xi who told travis who thought so too, if you haven't read the book before, it can be quite boring. which after thinking about it, yea. i mean since it was just this guy going around vatican city looking for angels to point him in the right direction to save cardinals' lives. but i do know that it's a movie worth remembering nor watching a second time.

i need to start exercising again.

our last official pitch training today.

1 hour at ccab, red vs. white. guys vs. girls. 

there was no pressure, no shouting from coach, only 22 players on the pitch playing positions that they may never have played before. as for me, i went back to the position i started of 4 years ago, one of the most memorable years of my hockey career. i felt so lightened by the load of nationals, i felt like i had boundless energy to run, chase after the ball, soar. then the ball hit my face. an accident, understandable that accidents happen. nothing too serious, just a cut on the upper lip and a shaky front tooth. haha. could have been worse. 

second half was the super seniors' turn. the few of them who came down to relive hockey experiences, without shin guards. haha. i have to say, it was quite funny to see puey and vivien come down at the END of pitch training (and puey holding on to her stick). i came home to eat glorious baked chicken thigh and mushroom with mozzerella cheese (: yum. while the rest are at prata hut and thai express.

nights.

i just broke a glass. the MacDonalds' Olympic season limited edition CocaCola glass ):

its as if it's a reminder of what transpired this afternoon. i'm so tired, just taking a glass off the shelf, i can let it knock the back of my head (while the glass is still in my hand), and it just slipped out, crashing to the floor right behind me. and i felt the glass shattering at my feet.

just like our dream to enter the semi finals has shattered. it's already behind me, as it has happened, and nothing can change that. like how nothing can put those glass shards back together again. part of it was my fault, i mean if i weren't so tired, perhaps i could have held on a little longer, firmer to the glass, and we can continue. it was also partly luck, that i chose that glass out of all the other cups on the shelf, one with sentimental value and hurts the most when broken. but in the end, all i could do was wear protective gear (my furry bedroom slippers (: ) to prevent myself from getting hurt any further, and pick/sweep up the pieces. chucking it into the bin is such a waste, but we've got to move on.

There's many other cups on the shelf, which i can pick up and use to drink from, to keep myself moving. It may be studies, friends, hobbies, books, food.....one phase may be over, but there's still other things to do right. dinner at rajah inn was fun. lots of laughs, little time to brood. besides, it was a buffet! no time to be sad when you can stuff your face full of food, with a personal steamboat pot that you don't have to share with others(:  which i did, and ended up with the bloated feeling as usual from leaving a buffet table. there was a nice addition and surprise after the match at delta, which i think i should be really thankful for.

Thank you aleee for being there at the end. when i saw you, that was the closest i came to bursting out in tears.Almost as if it happened all over again. It's great to see you again after so long, and i really hope the sun will shine for me again after this. 

Also, thanks to all the supporters who always came down to support our matches, especially the hjockey guys : Norman, Matthew, Derek and Zhi hao, some of the other J2 guys i saw today, as well as J1 guys, super-grand-seniors David, Edwin and John who comes down all the time although you don't have any ties with NJ anymore for at least 3 years, BEI XI, who painted those beauuutiful banners for us and never failing to come down for every match, screaming your lungs out to encourage us, the other seniors who came back like MarToo, Jinyin, PUEY YEE. As well as Melissa, you came down to watch and support us although you don't even know much about hockey. Families and friends of all my teammates for your support of your child's/friend's passion for hockey. JASMINE, who came down to support us today too! and all the other NJ people we saw came down to watch, thank you.

sorry chin.. more pictures coming up (:

my early morning baking (12-4am) resulted in rather nice personal New York Cheesecakes and Red Velvet Cupcakes. originally for my mom for Mother's Day yesterday, she hasn't exactly seen them yet. 

red velvet cupcakes - unadorned.

the lone adorned with CREAM CHEESE FROSTING (:

a little jewels on top....

*MUNCH* yummy XD

and a whole box for my mom. Happy Mother's Day!

personal New York Cheesecakes in muffin tray.

yum. slightly more sour than previous ones, but still yum..and i love the digestives base (:

older photos: chocolate cheesecake, adorned with Hershey's Chocolate Syrup!

My Hazelnut ice blended drink with trudy's Ice Latte @ Woodland's library

My Tuna sandwich meal. didn't expect the pasta and chips on the side, and the BIG sandwich. really worth my money!

and vinnie last night @ redhill food centre: 'UH?' - courtesy of Denise's photography.

today was one hell of a mind draining day. classes straight from 8am to 5pm, with only an hour's break at 10.30 for lunch. then training with video watching theory session. at least there was laughs from there. but i would just like to comment that today's GP lecture was rather interesting (contrary to what everyone else thinks).i mean yea, he was rambling a little, but the lecturer knew his stuff, and there are lots of things out there to think about.  well, mostly about life, people, interactions and linkages. Despite me not having a seat and sitting on the floor (the LT was THAT small, or a lot more people were interested) to listen, take notes and watch videos which i can barely see the screen from my angle, i believe i paid attention to most  of the one and a half hour lecture. besides, he was rather cute too (: and knows jap, and well, has a good mind. haha.

my tummy rumbled quite a bit today too, but dinner was simple but delicious( probably because my stomach was still raving even after a not very delicious blueberry muffin). Rice, steam fish, brocolli and crayfish (and soy sauce of course). at amoy street hawker centre with my parents, at the same sze char stall i thought i was tired of. however the fish was pricier than i thought. oh wells. i think i overate ): 

bookfare at expo with kris!yay!

i keep getting butterflies in my stomach. distractions. craving for security.

we must win. we must score goals. we must keep the ball out of our goal. we must win.

my achilles heel. my kryptonite: The Sun. ugh. or more specifically, insolation/short wave radiation from the Sun 100000000000million miles away.

update:

NJ-TP: 6-0

NJ-VJ: 0-2