an hour with the tellie.

Who knew an hour with the television can be so inspirational?

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2011

glee season 2. episode 22.

I cried. or more accurately, teared. the scene was rachel and Kurt singing 'Because I knew you' from the Broadway musical Wicked. oh how much I wished to be back there in NYC.

lost.

I lost it.

My passion for climbing, for organizing, for leading. 

I think its temporary. I really hope it is. The fatigue, or maybe its the never-ending administrative work that distracts me from starting on what I really want to achieve. Perhaps I should delegate more. I always forget not to just take everything on my own. 

It was so much easier to lead a team. One that trained together, ate together, played together, competed together. Rather than leading a group, whom are divided by interests, divided by skills, divided by levels, divided by schedules. I felt like there's some change from before. The group dynamics have shifted, causing people to behave differently. It's time to start blowing the bird-calling whistle.

Don't give up, because it's only the start. 

Effort.

I haven't been fighting. Fighting for what I want, or have a goal in life. Is that bad? Not to have an ultimate goal in life?I give up too easily sometimes, and I don't work hard enough.

When I was a gymnast, I knew I loved the sport, being able to unlock the potential in us, to push our bodies to the limit to achieve something wonderful. That, was a great feeling I didn't understand before. I loved being able to do tricks with my body, to be able to do things others couldn't, it empowered me, taught me things that I would never have learnt in the classroom. However, I remembered wanting to win at Nationals, but somehow I don't remember pushing myself for it. There was no inner desire, no push from within to go over my boundaries to be the best. I guess that's why I never won any Nationals. That was my only regret from my 6-year artistic gymnastics career. Because I never pushed myself hard enough, and thought I was better than others, and became complacent. Gymnastics was a difficult and demanding sport, that I can agree, and I'm glad it was a part of my life before.

Same for hockey I believe. I remembered more pushing then. More sweat, more tears, more emotions. And now, let's not get lazy and regret about climbing too. Time to get cranking. 

so thank you Payson, Kaylie, Lauren, Emily and Sasha for showing me what I didn't notice before.

once a gymnast, always a gymnast. 

gold.

Is winning gold all that matters?

Yes, if it's everything you ever wanted, everything you ever worked for, worth all the sacrifices you've ever made, and everything your loved ones wished for you. For you to achieve that dream, it's never a solo effort. So remember those who helped you along the way, and thank god that they were there for you.

Make it or Break It. ABC family. Season 2.

why am i so melancholic?
I am sick of the feeling of being alone.

cloud

let's hope this fog of confusion lifts, because I can't stand this feeling anymore.

help.