i realized my mum has many many pretty shoes.more than i thought.coz she never wears them.all hidden in the storeroom, none to be displayed for their glamour.she wears the same 3 pairs of heels to work everyday , while the rest of them looking quite new, (and some in their plastic bags still), i haven't seen her worn. i could never fit into her shoes, my feet are far too big for them. and far too fat to look good in them.i wonder why she doesn't wear those pretty shoes in the cupboard.all so petite and pretty.there's even a yellow pair of flats.how interesting.

the meaning of my background just suddenly occured to me.
white.its simplicity.how simple my life should be.how simple i am.no confusion. then there's white as a mask.to cover up my life.hide the truth.no one can tell of my emotions as other colours will.you won't know if what im saying is true or not.my whole life may be a hoax.
that's why its white.

my thighs ache.my stomach hurts.my arm hurts.all from yesterday. i think.PE had to run and had incline pullups - reason for aching arms and legs. but i still don't get why my stomach muscles hurt.a terrible feeling.moving a little here and there hurts. even sitting down from a standing position.argh.and then my glove and bandage went missing yesterday after training.weiling says someone probably accidentally took it home.yep.then there was dinner at kap.i really admire stef for playing in crescent hockey.and nj hockey as well.and she told us really interesting stories as well. hmm...wanna thank those who stayed a little longer to wait with me while my dad came (: really touched by that.

oh and my statement for the week [i still can't stop laughing over it..but it makes sense!]:
'purposely killing them accidentally' during IH debate..hahahha.

anyway..there's hockey match tmr with crescent.interesting.and i'll be skipping tuition twice in a row again.and assesment week's the week after the next.how depressing.can't wait for the reunion.

somehow i think richard gere is hot.ok...maybe not hot, but charmiing, he has charisma, but i like him.wahaha.

anyhow, i think ip is unhealthy to a student.well at least for me.late nights, exhausting hockey trainings, peer pressure, and the amount of self-study i have to do, which i definately can't.short entry here.desperate housewives on now.

bah.im supposed to be like doing my IH essay right now, which i was suppose to start at least a week ago.just hope i don't stay up till 3am doing it tmr night like i did with stupis SPIRE.what is the point of spire anway? i think its just crap.just like PBL. and i just can't seem to focus on my work no matter what.there's always something distracting me all the time.like this.

anyway, yesterday was road run.at least there was no lessons to sleep in, which i have been doing quite lately.somehow the 3.6 km didn't seem that long after all.its probably the illusion from the track running round and round, and thus it seems never ending.anyway, got a crap position, 30. ran with jillian, i think she rocks.i walked at least a quarter of the route and she jogged practically the whole thing.hm..then after the run there was house cheers, we did mass dance as well.and we forgot half the routine but heck anyway.what a great idea andy gave to go to the island creamery. we spent a while there, the ice cream wasn't fantastic, but the atmosphere was. i just love the place.we even left a picture of ourselves there for remembrance (:







we then went to macs for lunch, and once all the rest of the girls left, i had to accompany jeremy with andy till his canoeing training started.ended up sitting in coro's staircase talking *confidential* for about 1.5 hours.how interesting.oh wells.we should do that more often.

happy valentine's day!

hm.went back crescent. abit too late though.most of them was gonee.but the day was quite nice i guess.just wanna thank all those people who made my day(: but somehow i spent the better part of the day in bukit merah library with yu jie trying to do my homework.while almost falling asleep.oh wells.but at least i was productive for once.

hui juan says im too nice.i think i am too.its just so mean to be mean.but i can be mean.but i think im still too nice to people.then i would say yujie's much nicer than me.she like bought a whole box of merci chocolates for her angel just because she wanted...and a box of kinder surprise for yu sheng.oh wells.

all the work's piling up on me.why can't i just sit down and do my work and actually finish it??it just won't happen no matter how much i try to concentrate.CONCENTRATION.bah.however am i gonna pass in ip?

oh wells i gotta get my rest.there's like ntu pitch training tmr.helppp.

im surprised im still alive today.
im supposed to be a dead girl walking with a swollen eye.
it's such a small world did you know that? everyone's connected with everyone somehow in singapore.

hm.cjc match tmr.at night.at least i won't get any darker.the stc match was horrible.i know i played horribly as left half.but i shall not make excuses.yesterday's pitch training at ntu was horrible too. i couldn't even play a proper 7 a side.and i made my dad drive round and round ntu for half and hour coz he was lost and thus i ended up taking a bus to the mrt and getting home at 11pm.dead tired.and now i've got class matters to settle.with maths test tmr,and stupid assignments to hand in next week. could someone ask the time to stop for me?please?

i fall too much.
at every match.it hurts for a second or two and then im fine.
i think it's a habit since primary school.hantam bola, and gym.and they taught us how to fall 'properly'.

a few tips for people who fall too much like me :
-never fall head first, tuck your head in and try to land rolling on your back instead.
-don't use your hands to break your fall.it'll break your arms instead.fall on your side .
-bend your knees if landing legs first.straight legs will kill your knees.
- falling on the butt is still the best.but not the butt bone.
-tighten your whole body so that the muscles protect the bones or whatever.

randomness posted.

"Unwanted" - Avril Lavigne
All that I did was walk over
Start off by shaking your hands
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
Oh, yeah, yeah
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you
[chorus]
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away

No, I just don't understand why
you won't talk to me
It's hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing
Don't talk words against me
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you
[chorus]
Make me go away
I tried to belong
It didn't seem wrong
My head aches
Its been so long
I'll write this song
If that's what it take
[chorus (2x)]
Make me go away
Make me go away

headache.i should be like sleeping now or something....but no...im blogging.i've got my suibi to do.and all the damn homework's coming in.i don't even have time to go watch memoirs of a geisha.or even have time for myself.im gonna be a dead girl walking soon.

my knee's hurting like crap since after chinese new year.and i've come up with 2 conclusions.one: i ate too much food and grew fatter during cny, and thus there's more pressure on my knee joints. two: training was so consistent, then there was a sudden longer break than usual, and back to regular training my knee couldn't adapt well enough.oh well.i can only hope and pray that it doesn't affect my performance when it already has.i ain't even got time to rest my exhaustion off during the weekend.
i need a duracell battery in my body.the work's just getting tougher and tougher.never easier.