you know how i used to silently detest the canoeist in my school? well you probably wouldn't know cause it is SILENT. but i realized now more than ever its probably because of jealousy. jealous that they can be so disciplined, jealous that they have that determination and will, jealous of their fit, toned and tanned bodies.emphasis on the FIT. and TONED.well maybe because i knew subconsciously that i cannot compete with them in terms of fitness, and neither will my body be willing to go through the extremities. so anyway. bravo canoeists. although i still don't support the strict regime.

on the other note.
im not really looking forward to june.although it is the holidays. but if you compare it to july...we'll see.
june is when i
- have to do all the homework and projects for school
- persuade myself to study for the assessment week
- GO THROUGH assessment week
- count down the days i have left of freedom
- feel the holidays fly past
- think that it'll pass fast to go to july

and july is when i
- go for OB Lumut
- go wakeboarding during enrichment week
- celebrate with a certain friend's sixteenth birthday
- can slack a little in school
- know that division one is over
- celebrate my birthday
- go to the library to borrow the new harry potter's book
- know that rachel caine's weather warden's 6th book is out.not in singapore though


look at the difference.
today i officially became vice, and half the team saw my tummy fats.

i realizedi haven't acheived much this year. and i found a reason why. more like a person who has been hindering me rather then supporting me. and no, they aren't my parents. its ms. artina my famously helpful CT rep. first, she shot down my chance at being ogl for this year just because she thinks that i might be too busy with hockey and wouldn't be able to cope.and guess what, i dropped outta milo cup cause my knee is just too old, and the bloody IP rule banned me from playing A divs. i've got no leadership role this year, and no sports record to boast about. so i became pretty much free.and i joined drama. how ironic it is, she taking me out of ogl to free up my time, only for me to join another CCA. since my science research application failed, which i wasn't very keen on anyway,and i've got no electives and such. and ndc and dramafest are over. i'm pretty much free again. till hockey training starts again that is.

now i know why artists can charge so much just by painting and making art works. well because art is one of the most expensive subjects i have known now. the paints, equipment, and stuff are so bloody expensive. especially the top grade ones. i travel to bras basah complex thinking of getting some silk screening materials and a chinese story book for my book review, and BAM. i spent a total of almost 40 bucks there. the book was only $4. so the rest were all art materials and stuff. yea and i spent 2 hours. when i only planned max an hour. oh and the popular bookshop there..is bloody 4 levels, with no lift, and there's a cafe too. sigh

don't even know if i'll get started on this project of mine this holiday.

i am so proud of this two pieces of work that i have made, since i haven't used photoshop for such a long time. i think they're pretty. made it for dramafest's postsecret. and now its no longer a secret.

DRAMAFEST. THIS SATURDAY.7PM. $5 ticket. NJC. COME.

thank you jinyin, bernice, bei xi and puey yee for the pretty little flowers today! although they are like for the hockey girls team for consolation, i think i don't really deserve the flowers although people consider me part of the team.i've not been commited to trainings all that much, i do go down for the games but i still don't feel part of the team. i can talk to them freely, i share jokes, we go out, but its like the passion is gone.all just because i have weak joints. and i feel weird not being able to exercise and im getting FAT. its late too.i feel like i have to do more.
tying a game means that you are equal to or on par with your opponent in terms of overall performance. but by tying that game, the current njc hockey girls team are out of the semifinals.i left straight after their game, for drama. and didn't even go and say goodbye or understand how they were feeling.(because im still this cold hard bitch that can't cry that much) when they went out today, its then that i actually realized how sad they were. maybe i don't feel it much because i haven't gone through the pain this year of having to train hard and play till i almost die.

i'll continue another day since im falling asleep vertically on my chair

today was fun. the world of make believe on college day off-in-lieu.
while everyone else except for njc-cians had to go to school and endure a day of mindless teaching, the part of the njc hockey team went down to delta for a last minute training session.
delta was bloody hot. thanks to the morning sun. im glad i haven't got a burn yet. but a faint tan line as compared to siya. nice shower at delta's finally heater equipped toilet which was redundant today, and off to ikea for lunch. oh and i seriously better start training up SLOWLY. patient is a virtue to my knee because i just hate the pain and consequence after for the next two days.
yes. lunch at ikea.filling.VERY filling.terriyaki chicken and meatballs for me, the rest had similar items or poached salmon. ikea just loves to carbo-load its customers and the hockey team thanks them.
the start of the new world. frogs, horses, rats, octopuses to name the few which took over first, then some just left our world to go back to reality where the shopping sales are.another pleasure. after they parted, the rest of us went shopping - for a comfortable sofa to put in our hockey room to accomodate the team. (an excuse really. and if you still don't know what the excuse is - tired hockey girls after training in a friendly furniture store..) but we ended up in karen's living room, which bei xi's was next to hers, and aleee's next to bei xi's, michelle's (and aaron's and tuckwen's) next to aleee's, mine next to michelle's bedroom. i never knew my living room was so black and classy, with a flat screen tv and drinks bar/table . but i like my living room although i only lived in it for 15 mins. went on to karen's other house, which homeless jia yun was staying in, before saying goodbye to our new found houses.

how i wish it were reality. designer living rooms and us staying next to each other.make believe takes you away from reality for a period of time, takes you away from your pains. and going back to reality from there, will be even more painful than it seemed before.
i really need to start doing my work.



if you could see me now - cecelia ahern.

two months not posting. been wanting to. but just too lazy. and i have to do the bloody consolidation question for LA right now and im not. help.
so far, got runner-up for 3rd National Drama Competition, and Silver for IP drama SYF. the hockey girls are onto the second round for A division Nationals. i'm playing division one for crescent hockey, and i broke my glasses and im not sure if i regret choosing the frame for my new pair. its just, unconventional. you'll see. im planning to go for OB Lumut during enrichment week, there's dramafest coming up, and chem lesssons are REALLY boring now.

i've stopped physio, but still got a month left from PE and im taking napfa in august.bloody. and manga reading, i hope i do well for midyears.