i need my stamina back.actually not back, but i need more.and how am i supposed to when i can't run?and beep test means i need to run fast. and fast is what i can't do.

boooo.i can't believe i passed my IH paper, let alone score highest in class for the first question.haha.i mean im not exactly the kind of person who likes to brag and go around rubbing it in, so i sorta forgot about it like 10 mins later when people come up to me to say congrats, and i go 'for?'
oh wells.
well..i didn't do too bad for overalls. i can't complain either for not studying.
nats trainings is seriously depriving me of two good nights. one: year-end celebrations at njc - SURVIVOR~outlast,outparty. and crescent's musical night.just when i decided that i shouldn't miss out on these events after much consideration, fate just didn't want me to go.

falling asleep at 11pm is my new habit.

hello i am pamela and i'm erson!
together we are pamela and erson!
HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

days of horror.i failed math.not overall.but horrible red marks on the paper.then came IH.i failed half the paper terribly. only fate will decide if i managed to pass my overall paper.then came home, pity my mom for being able to see such horrid results. i guess i just never had the mood for studying, like ever, except for the occasional i-want-to-do-well-thus-i-must-start-studying-from-now-on-mood.therefore.i have nothing else to say about my grades.except that.they suck.

open day.not pathetic, not great either. so much for sponsers for open day and the two THOUSAND ballons the poor council had to blow manually. i really do pity council.although twirling cotton candy can be quite fun, not when you get sugar fluff in your face, hair and everwhere.tiring day, plus hockey duties although i do admit i didn't do much..but still became quite tired.

CARMEN. spanish dance.esplanade. many words to describe it. provocative.seductive.intimate.humour.coordinated.hot dancers.different.
well overall it was an enjoyable experience, very different from what i thought it would be.although there was no words, no script, but it could tell that there was a story line, although im not too sure which was the guy who went to jail or was just secluded.ok...i just read the pamplet, and it was quite different from what i thought it was.but nvm.

well. i seriously should stop visiting the library.i would be sure to pick up a romance novel and start reading non-stop, just as what i have been doing close to 4 days now. well. just like all other cliches, when i read its just that i feel transported into another world, as the character in the book, or a bystander, but still living everything that is described by the author. it may all be the power of the mind, but it does help to clear my mind of worries, and a great help to waste time.

well..enough insight for 7 hours.

i made a promise to myself to start on physics and chem right after i blog (: which are the papers for tmr.and i haven't started at all. oh and 6 days to a month since i last updated.the breaks are getting longer and longer...

so middle of ass week.just 3 more papers to go. the rest weren't so bad. i think, but i do remembering having hand cramps.i figured i haven't exactly been sticking to my regime of studying...quite sad.so much for new years' resolutions.

i have new found care and concern for my tablet now.ever since the bloody harddrive died on me in school at 6.30pm one day[i was being good to stay in school to study and it worked (: ), and my stomach felt in the pits. i lost all my MUSIC , PHOTOS, NOTES (although not really..but ass week was just the week after the next then), VIDEOS WHICH i HAVEN"T WATCHED....AND MANY OTHER THINGS I SHALL NOT MENTION.all gone.poof.just like that.and i didn't have any back up at all.so...when into depression..lost all studying mood until now.which i still haven't recovered the study mood part yet.hm.yes anyway, i realized i shouldn't have sulked and complained so much ( sorry trudy and teresa), because i could get most of the stuff back from my friends or online.it was mostly the hassle i was upset about.and ADOBE PHOTOSHOP.my tablet actually came back in a better comdition..no more creaking hinge.and i got my taskbar back which i lost for a year and a half.ha. so, i found this new appreciation for my tablet, how lucky i am to have it, as compared to my brother's laptop, but still, losing it for those few days made me realise how important it was.(call it cliche, but its true) and yes, the new found appreciation is part of the factor that makes me not go into the study mood.

and i thought i wasn't that dependant on technology as compared to others.well i thought i wasnt.i don't use my phone that much, i do lots of stuff myself, but i still do go on the net everyday..but that's the only part! oh wells.time to change my lifestlye, but it never happens.just like when i wanted to exercise more, be more disciplined, be more healthy by eating fruits, be neater etc. and the list goes on.....

anyone has photos that you think that i think that would concern me even if im not in it, please send it to my email! or send me a link to you photoalbum! thanks. which i doubt this will make any difference since no one comes here except for the occasional passer by.