blogger is still screwing with me on my new post page...but no matter. i've got better news than this to blog about.

like today. uh, i wouldn't say it's i-witnessed-a-murder-and-got-kidnapped-then-saved-a-little-girl-whose-mother-was-killed exciting, but to me it's rather insightful. i shall start with the boring bits, such as waking up early, close to the time that i can make it to school for like automatically, say 6.50am..but i went back to sleep anyway. but the surprising thing was, i contemplated starting early to study when i woke up then..hm. well, i headed off the the library (whenever i head there, it's always to RETURN a book..the reading and borrowing are um, a result of going to the library). but this time i managed to control myself! a little at least. i mean i still picked a book up, or two..but i 'finished' one of the romance novels, and part of the 'Ideas Generator' guidebook for businesses, in 2 hours? haha. only possible because after reading a hundred odd pages, i decided to be smart for once and skip to the last chapter..thus tada! i finished the book, and realized it was another virtual reality game plots...now, this is the third literary item that i've read this year about virtual reality, and i really hope it'll be developed soon(well it has to already have been developed, if not how do the authors get the details about VR games from and the inner workings?), or at least released to the public. it'll be so exciting! oh yea, and i managed to cover earthquakes and volcanoes (a little behind schedule i know).

Lunch was at 3pm, i travelled from bukit merah library to anchorage. to satisfy my subway craving. But JUST as i stepped out of the library, it started to drizzle. and the bus that i took, stopped at a bus stop which i had to walk for at least 10 mins unsheltered to anchorage(and the rain by this time was as if under multiple powerful showerheads.) but lucky me, i grabbed the umbrella instinctively as a rushed out of the house. really, did the rain have to wait for me to finally leave the library before it poured? as if it rained specially for me. or maybe BECAUSE i had an umbrella that it decides to rain. there's a pattern i noticed though. for two days in a row...the skies opened up to me as i stepped outdoors. i think it rained..specially ON me.

Subway was good..i finished two cookies as well even though i know i shouldn't have. one was subway's, the other my own. i really prefer homemade cookies now. subway's was just SUGAR OVERLOAD. i resumed, uh..vectors this time. and as usual, time flies for math. i had a little time to skim through a few Economist articles..the one for GP, not econs haha. before letting myself go buy 3 new pairs of shorts from cotton on. NOW, before you comment or think otherwise...these three pairs of shorts are needs, not wants. reasons being...shall be elaborated below.

my dad then came to pick me after my 30min shopping spree, to go for dinner with my mom and her colleagues at the usual amoy street cze char stall. it was mostly auntie Q talking..in dialect, with smatterings of english. i could understand the gist of the conversation, mostly about a banker's life and the internal workings. mostly internal conflicts and uh..scoldings, nervous breakdowns, resignations et cetera..and she put it 'advise for me from the experienced'. and yes..she did comment about me...i looked 'different'. to be more exact when she elaborated.. the two Fs. Fairer and Fatter aka 'put on weight'. yes i knew that unconsciously, but when someone put it out bluntly...it really makes an impact. and yes, here's where i elaborate my need for those shorts. because i can barely fit into my current ones. i can't fit into some already, and even the pants. thus i need new ones, which i predict will at least be in use for the next 6 months. (that's assuming i can fit back into my current ones in the future.) it's only been 3 months! and already people can tell the difference. ugh. my mom did comment at this point: 'Yea, she puts on weight quite fast'. UGH, i really can't wait for the studying to be done to start on my future exercise regime. at least 4 times a week i tell you! i've got no issue with the fairer bit, i mean since i've been cooped up in the library and under shade the past three months, i'll just be weird if i didn't shed the black.

and lastly, a inspirational quote from the Idea Generator:

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

oh i love Einstein now..

mmm. i just spent the last hour looking through photos. it really brings all the fond memories rushing back...when times were fun and good.

it was a much needed break from studying....or rather attempted studying. today's productiveness just totally went downhill after the previous post.attempted complex numbers, but failed drastically, hence the time was spent on looking at solutions instead. and then when i tried to move on to firms..my brain just shut down and refused to absorb anything. and that's it?! i can't even believe it myself. that's all i accomplished in 10 hours- finishing off gummies, kinder bueno and wang wang along the way as well. part of the wasted hours were due to the two magazines i bought yesterday, and various compulsive habits of mine. I don't know how many times i must remind myself never to ATTEMPT to stay home and study ever again (if i ever want to be productive).

but i guess a break is always needed, and i'm seeing a pattern of one day break every 6 days. typically the break would include reading, and it's alternating between romance novels and manga. of the past month, it has been pretty consistent, from Something Wonderful [Judith MacNaught), 1/2 Prince, The Food of Love [Anthony Capella], and this week was Kyou koi wo Hajimemasu. it keeps me sane, especially when i've been staying in school till 9pm for the past two weeks to study. can't say that it's the most productive after a full day of lessons, but it's better than nothing.

oh yes, i wanted to talk about the ressurrection of our 06ip01 class blog! thanks to andy, i doubt any of us would have even bothered with it..it's like this thing chucked at the back of your closet which you won't touch until the next spring cleaning. well, nothing much changed except the top picture, and the extensive links, one of which caught my eye.
wearepaperplanes - i'm assuming it's a blog created by juniors, content of which is very interesting, original compositions about nj ip school life. hilarious as hell.

I should go sleep. if not at least attempt a little more at firms. i can't believe there's only two days left.

" Here i am, stuck at a pavillion beside the singapore river during my once-in-a-blue-moon morning run. Did a 20 min run in my new shoes, and then stopped to seek shelter. Alas, the rain got heavier as i did my stretching. 20mins of run to 1 hour of stretching and some non- commital conditioning exercises. I need to lament on my loss of the flexibility i was so proud of as well.I haven't had my breakfast, and my tummy's starting to protest.

But sitting isolated just watching the rain can be therapeutic...or so how i'd like to think it is. You see some hard core runners drenched running past, and the beauty of the private houses by the river. Oh how much i'd like to live in one of these apartments overlooking the albeit not-so-clean river. I counted the number of floors there were, 40. Next to it is a rather rectangular-ish 9 storey apartment. And next to that is another private development under construction. Imagine, waking up to a rainy sunday morning like this(or sunny if you prefer), making some hot chocolate or juice, then lounging on the balcony overlooking the river. Depending on the weather- rainy or sunny, the time of day- morning or night, the company- with your thoughts or a loved one. Such bliss it would bring.
But blissfulness comes with a price. As always.

But just standing around in the rain while i should be studying is a little disconcerting. The river...despite the increase in volume from the rain, and lesser frictional drag from the smooth sides, the discharge is still rather slow. As compared to surface flow on the pavement, the discharge is much higher due to a steeper gradient and eddies are created by the disruptions to water flow. Now standing between two buildings, the Venturi effect is taking place, with wind being funnelled through a narrow space. Wind velocity is increased with turbulence as the pillars are this time disrupting air flow.

I think i'm being a sitting duck to mosquitoes right now. But i still don't regret not accepting my parent's offer to pick me up from my current location an hour ago when the rain got heavier. I'll grab whatever alone time i can have with nature.

Oh F that asshole who just walked in and lit up. ASSHOLE.

Now's the time for me to seize the chance to run in the rain!" - 10.20am


i've had my morning run, my breakfast, my bath, read Lifestyle, and it's noon. Time to move on to my studies.

and one last thing... THE TIME TRAVELLER'S WIFE IS COMING OUT IN MOVIE THEATERS ON 3RD SEPTEMBER. dang, i so wanna go and watch it....

my passion for cooking and baking has been fuelled up once more..

by a book 'The Food of Love' by Anthony Capella.

a romance novel about a chef in rome, and an american girl in a web of lies....

oh i just want to travel to rome now. and then there's the cuisine described in the book..just made me hungry to try them, to cook outrageously delicious recipes, to make people want to eat the food you cook.

i went on a grocery shopping spree after, with desserts in my head to be made and eaten. but with the guilt of already spending my time reading instead of studying at the library today took a toll, thus dessert was bought. tried to make panna cotta again, improvised without the gelatin sheets that i couldn't find in NTUC, we'll see the results of that tomorrow.

From Q Bread bakery: Cheese mousse. The cream was light, almost like whipped cream, but a little excessive, while the cake was not as light as it looked.

yesterday, was one hell of an interesting day, full of emotions i would say. and quite ironic when i compare the situations i was in.

do you think i'm cold/heartless/emotionless?

i've been through majorly variable moodswings lately. ugh. depression is so...negative.

my longest school day ever (thursday 20/8/2009) - 6.30am i was in school, till 9pm. that's 14 and a half hours. as compared to the time i spend at home awake, is only 5 hours. wow.

watched treasure island on tv ...till now it's still one of my favourite movies. the immense possibilities the future holds, the adventures, and happy ending.

i want to go on a journey.

i'm feeling my brain deteriorate slowly, with lesser and lesser concentration span each day.
it's two more weeks to go and don't tell me i'm already burnt out at my limit.

haute couture - grad night's theme although it's not officially announced. a little late aren't they?

i have finished another manga.
someone, stop me please.

i have wasted another saturday away.
my self control is apparently non-existent.
and here i finished two manga series...
not good.

In the Library.

'The Bears Discussing'
'The Sole Survivor'

Studying is lonely. expecially when you've got to concentrate and study alone. It brings out the introvert in you. It makes you independent. But it's so sad. I'm slowly losing my mind to this madness. Getting home after a long day of study and the sky is dark, but you reach home and the house is quiet. There's no one around to prepare dinner. Dinner becomes a one-man affair as well. The irony of buying home 'five-star chicken rice' only to share it with the glow of the television.

Remember. Nobody wants to be alone.

i have sinnned against myself throughout this whole weekend. I totally blasted most of my self-rules within 3 days. Blasphemy!

1) I finished another judith macnaught book i borrowed from the library on friday. Something Wonderful the title was. how ironic when i precisely went to the library to study that day right after the celebrations. but it was a wonderful book though.

2) I ate overly full. Even on my birthday itself i was satisfied, but not to the extent of my tummy bursting at its seams. It'll take at least another 50 rounds on the track to redeem myself.

3) I watched Marley and Me on my brother's computer. Harry Potter was meant to be my last movie till anthe End of As.

4) I went on facebook. that's not too bad since i spend no more than 10 mins on it. That's as long as i don't click on mafia wars and sorority life.

5) I watched TV continously for uh, about 4 hours straight on saturday night. most were on National Geographic, so i could argue that it's rather educational. Secrets of the Tang Treasure Ship, Korea Sparkling: Unlocking the Grid about congestion, Life after People...

6) I made pancakes. nothing wrong about that, but it took almost as long as baking.

7) It's getting less relevent, but i spent more than i should on a new pair of earphones of lower quality than my currently spoilt pair.

8) Just to make it a nice number, i actually blogged three times in all today. I shouldn't even be blogging. but it unwise not to, since it's part of the stress relieving process of ranting.

I shall go back to watching 300 on channel 5.

marley and me.
touching..really. no other words to describe it (:

and i cried.

it's late afternoon, and i'm sleepy.
my tummy's still full from the 2 hour-plus lunch this afternoon at The Line. Shangri-la hotel. Yes, an extravagance, but it was meant as a birthday lunch for my brother's 21st birthday, hence the all out nature of throwing money to the wind, or rather to the hotel's cash register. since it was one expensive buffet, my whole family plus my brother's 5 friends ate till or tummies were at the point of bursting (at least mine felt like it was. that's why i said the last time buffets are so not healthy. The food was good though, as expected from shangri-la.picture post again, since im too sleepy and uncomfortable using my brother's computer. oh and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE & SHAUN CHUA!

The Line @ Shangri-la Hotel
sadly i didn't take a lot of pictures either..so this'll have to do.

my third serving of food. i was starving, so kinda forgot to take the camera out till then. There was A LOT of variety. Dim sum, prime rib, satay, lamb chop, salmon coli-something (it's like a long salmon puff), mushroom quiche, bread with garden vegetable soup (it was just green pea soup)....those were what i ate. there's a lot more fresh seafood, sashimi, local favourites etc. but the quality was just so good..
left to right: Rose mouse with blood orange jelly, Gula Melaka Sago and Coconut Panna Cotta. My favourite is still the rose mousse.
Clockwise starting from centre: Tiramisu, Apple Filo, Cream Puff, Macaron, Lamington in Rasberry Confit.
Chocolate Cremeux: my older brother's favourite. basically dark chcolate cream with more chocolate in the middle.
L to R: Strawberry Shortcake, Morello Cheesecake, Pineapple and Mango Mousse.
Gulab Jamu: an Indian dessert, supposedly made of condensed milk, flour , soaked in suger syrup. This one had some coconut in it, which made it have this veggie-like texture. made my mom exclaim: 'it's like i'm eating paper.'

L to R: Carrot cake with cream cheese, Macha (green tea and red bean paste)
Creme Brulee. This was NICE.
Brother's Chocolate Truffle Birthday cake. more rich chocolate.
The dessert disply. this is only one third of it, the 'cakes' section. there's the local desserts, the ice cream counter, the waffle/crepe counter with the ice kachang and chendol, and the ethnic desserts....
did i mention i love the range of desserts although those were the ultimate that killed my stomach?

where/what is my place in this world?

i feel more lost than ever. like a compass that loses its direction and it just keeps on spinning and doesn't stop. where should i be going from here? i was never one to leave my end point empty, which the end of As currently is. all those mundane university courses doesn't seem to appeal to me anymore. what happened to all the things i was so interested in when i was looking through the courses and couldn't decide which to take up? I don't want to be stuck another 3 - 4 years at some school wasting the time away at something i might regret taking. currently i partially do, after reading the IP certificate we were handed a while back. it mentioned about how we are the part of the privileged top 10% to skip O levels so that we had more time to prepare for As, and the IP programme is for students whom they are sure would want and can get into a university. but i don't think i fall into those categories. i mean i might have before, and i do know there's a 90% chance i'll be in some university next year, but there's just this feeling inside that wants to be free. like adventure. travelling. i'm sure everyone wants to go travelling. like who doesn't? but for uni, i want to be able to make a change on the world to become more sustainable/live in the forest/travel back in time to the olden days where technology did not pervade every single aspect of our lives, where i don't have to worry about things such as image and materialism and how others might think of me. I want to observe people, understand why people have different personalities, why people do the things they do, why people have the 'herd mentality', why emotions are needs to a human. perhaps i should study psychology, human behavior. be an observer.

there was the long-lost dream of being an astronaut. i would float around in space and watch the earth. Observe Mother Nature and her beauty. Then I would be an air stewardess. I can serve people, meet different types of people and make them happy. then i'll be able to travel the world too. Then i would get lost in the Amazon forest. I would learn to make the forest my home. I would be friends with all the animals that are nice to me. I would then build a ship. and sail to the four corners of the sea. Just me, the wind, the sun and the ocean. but it'll be so lonely. I want to discover a new island. I want to experience the Artic. Would you come with me?

is there such a course?