thank you jinyin, bernice, bei xi and puey yee for the pretty little flowers today! although they are like for the hockey girls team for consolation, i think i don't really deserve the flowers although people consider me part of the team.i've not been commited to trainings all that much, i do go down for the games but i still don't feel part of the team. i can talk to them freely, i share jokes, we go out, but its like the passion is gone.all just because i have weak joints. and i feel weird not being able to exercise and im getting FAT. its late too.i feel like i have to do more.
tying a game means that you are equal to or on par with your opponent in terms of overall performance. but by tying that game, the current njc hockey girls team are out of the semifinals.i left straight after their game, for drama. and didn't even go and say goodbye or understand how they were feeling.(because im still this cold hard bitch that can't cry that much) when they went out today, its then that i actually realized how sad they were. maybe i don't feel it much because i haven't gone through the pain this year of having to train hard and play till i almost die.

i'll continue another day since im falling asleep vertically on my chair