i wanted to cry.

i wanted to bury my head and sleep.

i wanted to fall sick.

all that happened after today's paper.

more specifically, today's math paper.

it was that disastrous.

GP was fine as always, except the constant worry for my essay being irrelevant.

the feeling of brain-deadness just prevaded my senses three quarters through the math paper. and i thought 'there's really no more mood in studying in school for tmr's econs and bio papers anymore. i'm gonna fail another two subjects thanks to math.'

and then i came home, took a bath, got some food into my system, and watched AYG opening for awhile. that combination rejuvenated me a little (which should be spent on econs and not blogging. 'yes i know that!' my conscience is taking over my mind a little too much lately..).

AYG opening. not very impressive. dances were a little off choreography, and somehow for an international event, it doesn't give off the grand impression that it should. but good effort though. and then came the speech. a monotonous one. with halting phrases and no variation in tone at all. (did he ever do project work in school? he should...) the second guy whose first language isn't even english gave a more ear-pleasing speech than the former.

and then i chanced across a photograph on the table.

for once i felt..BIG.large. out of proportionately huge in comparison to the people around me.

i thought i was supposed to be small sized!!

and here i am looking...round. ok, maybe i'm just comparing myself to the bride who's about half my width.

sighs.

and here's that wedding photo of the wedding dinner i admired (and the groom was from NJ..haha. at least he turned out well.) of my mom's good friend's daughter.

-left- me, husband-1, mom, bride's mommy, mom's goodfriend number 2, wife-1, bride, groom, wife-2, husband-2, wife-3, husband-3, dad, bride's dad.

-ok, blogger doesn't want to upload the photo. another day then.-

*gushes* the bride is so pretty!! and so is the groom! i want my wedding to be like that..the prettiest day of a lady's life.

the weather's screwed up.

and it's screwing with my mind.

off to uh, attempt reading econs in a nice sleepy weather.