I really want to be like her. My current favourite manga female lead character: Ayuzawa Mizaki from Kaichou wa Maid-sama! She has a spunky personality, starts really naive at the beginning, and has a hatred for guys. I guess that's where I relate to her, being like her : "the tiger" of the class, and is the general direction of this post.
I can't deny it. I'm terribly cynical about guys, not to the point of hatred, because yes, I still do fantasize about them, being Mr. Prince Charming and rescuing me from the daily monotonous hum-drums of life. But that's just it. Fantasy. It's hardly reality to find a perfect gentleman for yourself in this world. Hence, being too rational and logical, I still have this stereotypical image of men - Useless, aggressive bastards. It doesn't help that I just read an article about domestic violence on wives, that my dad just threw another one of his unbearable tantrums (which is why i'm trying to finish this post as fast as possible and get out of the house, even on a Sunday), and I'm FREAKING (i would like to use the word fuck, but let's be nice) PISSED OFF at one of my committee members (obviously a guy).
As I attempt to deconstruct my underlying motivations, I just hope I calm down after all this.
1. At home, I was brought up with the belief that guys are nothing more useful than to sit in front of the television, drop crumbs everywhere, and expect the woman to clean up. It doesn't help that my father throws himself into a fit of rage over minor unreasonable issues, spurting vulgarities from his mouth, threatening people with consequences that seem to matter, but we have learnt to ignore, almost on a daily basis. I have learnt to be unconcerned about it, but the truth is, I'll always feel affected by it. These tantrums affect the whole family, builds up stresses and tensions internally, making the home seem so much less hospitable. It's no wonder I feel so much more comfortable out of the house, most times leaving in the morning, returning at night, avoiding any further contact or situations that would throw my mood off. Using the social science perspective, it's through these experiences that I was socialized to think of men as aggressive, unreasonable and single-mindedly stubborn, especially when that is the first male characteristics you infer from a father figure.
2. Men have been disappointing me. Or that I could have set up too high expectations of them, that they constantly fail to live up to these expectations, hence the disappointment. But sometimes, is it just so much to ask from males to act maturely, take responsibility and be nice?
3. My previous boyfriends (if I do consider them), hasn't proved any useful in eliminating the stereotypical view I have of their species.
4. The feminist movement. Growing up in a patriarchal country, but with focus on gender equality and the many challenges that women face in society, has encouraged me to be empowered over my own gender. Empowered to carve the path of my future, without the dependence of men, that we don't need to be protected by them.
So if you think you can change my mind about males, please do look for me and prove the merits of your species otherwise. I'm just protecting a little girl from getting hurt here.
I can't deny it. I'm terribly cynical about guys, not to the point of hatred, because yes, I still do fantasize about them, being Mr. Prince Charming and rescuing me from the daily monotonous hum-drums of life. But that's just it. Fantasy. It's hardly reality to find a perfect gentleman for yourself in this world. Hence, being too rational and logical, I still have this stereotypical image of men - Useless, aggressive bastards. It doesn't help that I just read an article about domestic violence on wives, that my dad just threw another one of his unbearable tantrums (which is why i'm trying to finish this post as fast as possible and get out of the house, even on a Sunday), and I'm FREAKING (i would like to use the word fuck, but let's be nice) PISSED OFF at one of my committee members (obviously a guy).
As I attempt to deconstruct my underlying motivations, I just hope I calm down after all this.
1. At home, I was brought up with the belief that guys are nothing more useful than to sit in front of the television, drop crumbs everywhere, and expect the woman to clean up. It doesn't help that my father throws himself into a fit of rage over minor unreasonable issues, spurting vulgarities from his mouth, threatening people with consequences that seem to matter, but we have learnt to ignore, almost on a daily basis. I have learnt to be unconcerned about it, but the truth is, I'll always feel affected by it. These tantrums affect the whole family, builds up stresses and tensions internally, making the home seem so much less hospitable. It's no wonder I feel so much more comfortable out of the house, most times leaving in the morning, returning at night, avoiding any further contact or situations that would throw my mood off. Using the social science perspective, it's through these experiences that I was socialized to think of men as aggressive, unreasonable and single-mindedly stubborn, especially when that is the first male characteristics you infer from a father figure.
2. Men have been disappointing me. Or that I could have set up too high expectations of them, that they constantly fail to live up to these expectations, hence the disappointment. But sometimes, is it just so much to ask from males to act maturely, take responsibility and be nice?
3. My previous boyfriends (if I do consider them), hasn't proved any useful in eliminating the stereotypical view I have of their species.
4. The feminist movement. Growing up in a patriarchal country, but with focus on gender equality and the many challenges that women face in society, has encouraged me to be empowered over my own gender. Empowered to carve the path of my future, without the dependence of men, that we don't need to be protected by them.
So if you think you can change my mind about males, please do look for me and prove the merits of your species otherwise. I'm just protecting a little girl from getting hurt here.
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