its late, or early in the morning for a blog post. but i do seem to have insomnia at times. but i don't have pressing matters in the morning so i'll just sleep in. like always. well..just wanna say sorry to the team for not giving my best and succumbing to my laziness. well i do know that i love to come up with excuses just to get myself out of things, but with not good enough reasons.
i've changed this holiday, trying to change myself, but not having the discipline to follow though, just as i always have none. but the passion's gone from the game, just when the tough surfaces. i know my nature, easy to give up halfway, and easy to make false promises to myself, only to disappoint, myself again. maybe that's why i never have high expectations. to lower the disappointment as well.
the side of me that will always be there has surfaced again and again. but i doubt it'll be satisfied anytime soon. only in fantasies and those hours of reading that i indulged in. drowned in character emotions' , only to be hit hard in reality.


ignore my rants. don't try to understand it.