twenty first.

I just came back from an old friend's 21st birthday party, and the day's proceedings got me thinking about stuff, so I've got many things going through my head right now, most of them about my future.

The question has been popping up quite frequently: "What are you studying in university? What major of Social Sciences? What do you learn in Sociology?". Sometimes, I'm at loss for words. I'd wish I'd have googled it earlier. (Wiki: Sociology is the scientific study of society. A sociologist studies human societies and social behavior.) Other times, I can describe generally, that I study almost anything and everything about people and the world, basically, fluff. As to what (jobs) I can do, almost anything not specific is about it.

And then "Which JC did I come from? NJC?". And the response I'll get are those assuming I'm a) smart, b) stereotypical hardworking mugger and c) straight A student. Expectations. That's what people have of you when they find something out about you. Expectations create stereotypes. No. Scratch that. Stereotypes create expectations, and these expectations drive the person to achieve or prove something, sometimes only reinforcing the stereotypes. The never-ending cycle.

Which brings me somewhat to my future career. I think life is too short. I don't think there'll be enough time in life for me to achieve all that I want to do, like climb the Himalayas, travel the Silk Road on bike, visit the remote villages in the world, check out the Amazon rainforests before they die out...and the list goes on. I want my job to be able to allow me to accomplish these things, something flexible, that I can do at my own time. Like writing, or photography, or blogging. But I've clearly shown no apititude for any of these creative industries. And no self-discipline to make myself complete tasks on my own. I'll procrastinate forever till the end of time and nothing will get accomplished.

So the latest project I've got running in circles around my head: a backpacker's hostel with an integrated cafe/bakery. Combining my passion for travel and baking, isn't this an ideal solution?

summer plans

if I don't get an internship this summer (*crosses fingers*), I'm going to try starting a business. (*cross my heart and swear on my KitchenAid mixer*)

the art of travelling.

I don't have a talent. Not in music, not in the arts, not in sports, not in generosity, and definitely not in having any unusual body parts. But I do have a passion, one that has been dominating my thoughts for the past few hours, been guiding my life the past few years, and will affect my future in the next few years. And that is - Travelling.

From Antartica to Zimbabwe, I want to travel the world, to experience everything from nature, the sights, the sounds and the people. It is such a liberating yet other-worldly feeling to know that you're a small part of something so much bigger.

I want my future to be about travelling. Getting a job that enables me to travel, or making travelling itself my job! I've considered it. I could be a travel writer. But I don't write that well, I can't even keep a consistent blog.  I could be a travelling food writer! But then again, I'm not THAT knowledgeable in cuisine, nor do I have super-sensitive tastebuds. I could be a travel show host! But I'm not photogenic for the camera. I could look for opportunities to do anything.

I want to inspire others while travelling. The creation of dreams, through the exposure of the rest of the world, that's what I want to do for other kids living in the villages, areas which most of them never leave their whole lives. With dreams, comes action and motivation, to be something bigger than they could ever imagine to be. That's the power of dreams.

I'd hope to write a book someday. or at least a blog. To share my travel stories and insights from it. Justification for all the travelling that I'm going to do.

Date A Girl Who Travels

something just resonated in me when I read the article by Aleah on Solitarywanderer.com.


"She knows she’s been to a lot of places, but she’s humbled by the fact that the world is still a big place and she’s only seen a small part of it."


"Find a girl who travels. Date her, love her, and marry her, and your world will never be the same again."

travels.

"I am an adventurer not by choice but by fate"

Beautiful ain't it. It does reflect my inner feelings currently, as much as I want to travel the world. I came across this quote from one of the comments in an article by my current favourite blogger - Jeff Goins.
"3 Reasons to Travel While You're Young"
I started following him due to the above mentioned post when I saw it being shared on facebook. Before I read that article, I had a penchant for travelling. My adventurous nature just pulled me towards anything that was out there. The food, the culture, the atmosphere, the people, their thoughts, their habits, their behaviours - it's all so fascinating! The article only served one purpose. It reinforced my decision to travel. Whenever I can.

I'm going to meet people from around the world. Let me say 'Hi' to you first. Look out for me!

dreams.

I wanted to be a writer, after I read a book about becoming one in the publishing industry. 

I wanted to be a singer, after I watched a video of a talented artist and was amazed. 

I wanted to be a fashion designer, after I saw the beautiful designs in a magazine.

I wanted to be a teacher, after I read about the miracles teachers make in their student's lives.

I wanted to be a patissier, after I ate one of the prettiest cakes in the world.

I wanted to be a photographer, after I was mesmerized by the photos in a gallery.

I wanted to be a pilot, after I watched a Broadway play about a con-artiste who acted as one.

I wanted to be a flight stewardess, after I watched a movie of them jetting around the world.

I wanted to be a human rights activist, after I read an article about the poverty issues around the world.

I wanted to be a blogger, after I read about the perks of getting invited to events for free.

I wanted to be a ........

and I still can be anything I want to be. 

I don't think I'm fickle-minded or have no future direction, I'm just impressionable. It's wonderful, don't you think? To be able to be influenced by the wonders of life, to inspire one to be something, or someone that is happy to be that person in the future. You've got to enjoy your job to enjoy your life. Because most times, your job will be your life. I'm lucky to still be young, to not yet be stuck in the cycles of working life, where people find so difficult to get up and leave for something they really REALLY want to do. 

It's not wrong to have dreams. It's great in fact. It's a motivation that keeps the world happy.

Did you follow your dreams?

I should just give up on going to a UK university. It was just an aspiration i suppose. Just another option to not stay in Singapore. [Not that I hate my home country or anything, I just want to see the world.]

It was an eventful morning today [or make that yesterday]. Ms Shawna Lim's wedding!
Congratulations Ms Lim & Mr Daniel Hew[i'm not sure if i got the name right:/ ]
A happy day it was supposed to be, but it didn't start too well with me, from outfit, to the mysterious case of the missing ez-link card, to my frustrations with public transport. But those issues aren't the focus of the post, so I shan't go into details and whine.
It seems rude of me, but somehow, I kept comparing the service to Ms Tay's wedding earlier this year. Perhaps it was  because it was the only other teacher's church wedding I've attended, and my lack of experiences in church weddings anyway. Held at Paya Lebar Chinese Methodist Church, it was my first time stepping into a Chinese church, and listening to the ceremony in chinese. I did feel a little out of place, with me almost effectively monolingual right now. There were translations, and I still could understand what the pastor was saying, but the weirdest thing was hearing my english-speaking econs teacher speak in dialect. No, I didn't hear her speak chinese, because, even cuter, was that the husband said his vows and spoke to the audience in chinese, while she did likewise and replied, in english. Haha. She was really pretty and demure looking in her dress, but once she started speaking, it was totally back to Ms Econs teacher as we know her; straight, direct to the point, speed-talking! haha! The few of us, her students, managed to get a picture with her after the lunch, before we left. Sigh, what a sweet day it was supposed to be.

*ranthotsunwalkinginheelswithoutezlinkcardrant*

HI NUSH.
well, i just found out today there's one more additional reader to my blog. everyone, let's HI another one of my ghost blog readers (:

i have been doing my best to study, to the extent of travelling all the way to school to mug in the library, then at the oasis today. finally managed to finish population for geog, and nothing much else. haiz. it's been my (& kris') future cafe that has lately been constantly bugging me. my mind has latched on to this project so tightly that i can't seem to let go of it for a second. ideas for the ideal book cafe just keeps running through my head. the decor, the menu, the themes, the chairs, the wallpapers, the mannequins, the beanbags, the cooking, the serving, the laughing, the spiral stairs....everything! sigh. and i know i won't get to start on it for at least another few years...which is the sad part.

i had another dream this morning. which caused me to wake an hour later than i should have. it was probably because i was looking forward too much to going to school to study that i dreamed about it. somehow i was with this big study group on the way to school, and this 'study group' of mine wasn't NJcians. i had the sense that they were people i met in Pre-U sem. but uh, they weren't them. The next thing i knew, i was either calling ms tay (or she called me), and that the school gate was closing already. So i'm assuming here that we're all running late, and we're in transit to take the second bus to school.(I always have to change buses to get to and from school). So, my conversation with ms tay went along the lines of her telling me the uncle was closing the gate, and me asking her if she could ask the uncle to keep the gate open for another half hour. she said she'll try her best, then an almost accusing question came out: 'do you have to study in that study group/are you studying in school with a study group?' and i said yes. and she hung up. i got the feeling that i should be studying alone, or just not study with this particular group of almost strangers. the bus came almost as soon as i got off the phone, and we all boarded the bus. i sat right at the back of the bus, in the center seat, and there were three other people on my left(which made it seem like a big bus that can hold 7 people in the back row).the guy next to me is also part of my study group. he felt like only an acquaintance, but somehow i felt really comfortable with him. he was cute and charming, but i don't even remember his face (haha..boyfriend of the future?). he knew Andrew..and it took me awhile to realize it was andrew SEOW...the funny guy in my promary school class. Cute guy knew andrew as the DIVER.(which in real life he isn't- or not that i know of, but i accepted it in the dream anyway).and then i whipped out this really cool phone! a white slide phone with touch screen, and A LOT of buttons. i'll draw it out soon, if i can remember the details, but i was really cool. the next thing i surprised myself with was, i shifted onto cute guy's lap as the bus got more crowded, so that someone else could sit down. (in reality, there isn't enough space for such a thing to happen on the bus, ever.) then i was reading my messages on my phone, from some people i'm not sure i knew, and cute guy was helping me figure out my phone. and then second revelation: person whom i didn't know messaged me was actually the cute guy whose lap i was sitting on, and his name is REI. short for Yu Hong Rei or something like that. but the important thing is! not the full name, but REI. that's the name i wanted to give to my future son (: (inspired from a manga : MARS) funny thing. i didn't know his name at the start of the dream, and it gradually unfolded for me to find out..what a nice surprise(: the bus ride ended there, and when we were at the nj sidegate bus stop, some girl went: 'let's go da-bao some dessert/ice kacang!'. and i said no, that we were already late. and i WOKE UP. an hour late. haha.

dear me, i dreamt of being late, only to be late in real life. should have woken up when ms tay called. haha.perhaps then i wouldn't have to walk in through the main gate.

two days of sweet desserts....i shouldn't crave anymore.

where/what is my place in this world?

i feel more lost than ever. like a compass that loses its direction and it just keeps on spinning and doesn't stop. where should i be going from here? i was never one to leave my end point empty, which the end of As currently is. all those mundane university courses doesn't seem to appeal to me anymore. what happened to all the things i was so interested in when i was looking through the courses and couldn't decide which to take up? I don't want to be stuck another 3 - 4 years at some school wasting the time away at something i might regret taking. currently i partially do, after reading the IP certificate we were handed a while back. it mentioned about how we are the part of the privileged top 10% to skip O levels so that we had more time to prepare for As, and the IP programme is for students whom they are sure would want and can get into a university. but i don't think i fall into those categories. i mean i might have before, and i do know there's a 90% chance i'll be in some university next year, but there's just this feeling inside that wants to be free. like adventure. travelling. i'm sure everyone wants to go travelling. like who doesn't? but for uni, i want to be able to make a change on the world to become more sustainable/live in the forest/travel back in time to the olden days where technology did not pervade every single aspect of our lives, where i don't have to worry about things such as image and materialism and how others might think of me. I want to observe people, understand why people have different personalities, why people do the things they do, why people have the 'herd mentality', why emotions are needs to a human. perhaps i should study psychology, human behavior. be an observer.

there was the long-lost dream of being an astronaut. i would float around in space and watch the earth. Observe Mother Nature and her beauty. Then I would be an air stewardess. I can serve people, meet different types of people and make them happy. then i'll be able to travel the world too. Then i would get lost in the Amazon forest. I would learn to make the forest my home. I would be friends with all the animals that are nice to me. I would then build a ship. and sail to the four corners of the sea. Just me, the wind, the sun and the ocean. but it'll be so lonely. I want to discover a new island. I want to experience the Artic. Would you come with me?

is there such a course?

technically it's still my birthday because i was born at 7 plus in the morning! i think. haha.

it was a relatively enjoyable birthday, didn't expect as much things to happen as it did today, and they happened! and then i've got to thank all the hockey people, my classmates, my family and the random people who wished me happy birthday! especially the presents...(i got a full body shop tea tree range....feeling a little guilty here.) i'm proud of myself of finally being grown up enough to think that even if it was my birthday, it's still no excuse from studying.

that's my priority now. (finally, for once in my life studying is somewhat important and near the top of my list). i managed to scrap out some essay outlines and finish bio essay tutorials before i left school, but i'm still really far behind on my revision! help! rushed home to get changed before my family went out for dinner. got to wear my new wedges (: but sometime in between the dinner, it felt as though it wasn't going as how it should, and i kinda sulked a alittle. probably due to the fact that my tumy wasn't feeling too well then to enjoy a japanese teppanyaki buffet at yuki yaki (and the food's not really that good anyway...just went there for the cold plate to make ice cream experience.). but it passed. and i ate VERY little cake. like one spoon of oreo cheesecake. haha. today i've had three cakes, that's just overload i tell you, even for a cake lover like me. Chocolate mouse with coffee in the morning, chocolate truffles in the afternoon, and oreo cheesecake at night. lets hope my tummy gets better

througout the course of the day. i learnt new things. from others, to myelf. i hope that with this birthday i'll grow into a better person for humanity.

i don't know why. but i always listen to my older brother no matter what he says. not necessarily that i'll follow his advice, but somehow it matters. even when he talks as if he's the only one who matters in the world, not caring about others attitude, basically his point of view. but sometimes it's convincing enough it makes sense. i guess that's just him. being able to manipulate people, convince them of what to do. thus he'll make a good financial planner = his current job. a little bit of a salesman somewhat.

and that talk with him over cooking and eating dinner and washing up (i was doing all the cooking and washing up; and him the talking) he made me rethink about university. earlier in the day, i was thinking about culinary school. not just pastry.he was positive about that. and then he brought in my parents' view and university. and then about business school. no use he says. and it made sense. haha. in a way. ok, it coincided with ms ting's comments in class too - about people getting good grades then going into business (implied as if business isnt all that, which is somewhat true with almost everyone in business as if it's mainstream) so now i'm back to square one. seriously at loss at what i want to do in uni. something fun, adventurous, out of the classroom. national geographic! haha. that would lead me into geography, but i'm not into the science. just the outdoors. environment. making people recycle. making the world sustainable.

this always happens just because i'm so easily swayed. lets just hope that can change very soon.

perhaps it was the significance of having my last 17-year-old dinner, i was in a pretty good mood, cooking for me, my brother and my dad, washing up, all on my own accord. perhaps it was the atmosphere. happy day = i'm being a helpful person, and i got to talk to my brother in a long time - without parents around. so i guess it's a pretty reflective or...don't really have a word to describe it, but, calming, to have a talk with siblings. older siblings (no matter how self-centred and lazy they are - well, my brother was saying how we should all just have dishwashers so we don't have to wash dishes, while I was washing all the dishes and he was eating ice cream) and so my nicest dinner i've cooked myself:

Fried Rice with ham and celery, Portobello Mushroom with Butter and Garlic (my signature), and lastly Grilled French Onion Bratwhurst.

it's so exciting!

looking through university websites, learning about the kinds of things I need to know for the future.

you could say i never thought about going overseas just a few months back, and now i'm looking at the whole world!

my ultimate focus is still on business. who knew you can get an MBA just within 2 years? well i just did. apparently the 2-year MBAs are AFTER you get your bachelor's degree with honors [Stanford] just a little more research and my eyes are opened. it seems like a lot more paths into my future has grown(:

Pastry pastry, i'm sorry, but you've gotta wait.

oh and i must say that harvard's homepage picture is a little freakish. mealworms??here.